They say that it ain’t right
That you being you isn’t what God would say was okay
That your breath should be taken
That your love should be nothing more but the sights of backdoor alleys
Hidden in darkness for the public doesn’t want to see such unnatural things
They say that you are forsaken
To be burned and agonized in a cave with brimstone
They say that you don’t have morals
That your life is that of mistakes and wants
That the heart was never supposed to desire
But they cant see your slight magical ways
Your sayings of life
Your hope for the future and your strength for the now
They cannot see your smile
Your love that makes all those things they say are wrong
Feel so right
They cannot see your faith in the real teaching of religion
That the decision of life in paradise is not decided by the words of man
Thier sayings hold no meanings in your ears
For they are full of fear
They are not what makes you who you are
I love you even if they won't
2006-10-01 17:59:41 · 4 answers · asked by thousandsoulvictory 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
yeah of course i like it.did you write it?if so i should say you'll make a good poet.
2006-10-01 18:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by impossible. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love the sincerity of this, and the amount of feeling you're able to get across. i can really hear "you" through your words. the only critique i've got for you is that i'm a little doubtful of your use of the word "ain't", which is by itself a very strong word which carries a lot of emotion, but doesn't seem to jive with the rest of this poem. i've also got to point out that the last line came a bit abruptly. but upon rereading i actually kind of like that the ending is also the climax. sounds like you've got religious, maybe christian, parents and your girlfriend's not religious but you love her all the same. i really hope things work out for you two and as a girl, i can say that she's very lucky to have you :) i have a couple of friends who are in the same boat as you and your girlfriend but are coping with it and love each other very much!
2006-10-02 01:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by need help! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Free-form, yes. When I read it I felt that your parents are telling you that the girl you love is wrong for you; maybe from another culture and religion. You are totally mixed up about it. Love knows no boundary.
2006-10-02 01:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i said what i wanted to youd probably report me lol
2006-10-02 01:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by standanddeliver87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋