I've been married for 12 years and have yet to feel sexually fulfilled. Two days after my marriage my wife revealed she didn't believe married couples should have sex. So sex has been off the table for the past 12 years and now I'm thinking about the divorce. I'm not so mad as her as I am at the realization that the rules society told me about sex and relationships and love was bullshit.
Specifically, I didn't run around and have loose sex but instead committed myself to one person from the age of 18 to marriage, remained dedicated to her, put my marriage before my job, and did everything else I grew up believing was the right thing to do.
What am I supposed to believe in now that I find out that all the rules I was told and given during childhood were bullshit - that a good marriage and family will satisfy your needs and desires? That a good marriage is the key to happiness?
2006-10-01 17:48:14 · 12 answers · asked by Shane 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Society didn't lie to you. In fact, society does allow non-cosummation of marriage as a ground for annulment. There is no marriage that took place if there has been no physical relationship. If she didnt specify this before you get married, that maybe considered as fraudaulent. But legal options should be the last resort.
It begs the question , of what kept you married to her for 12 years despite this unsatisfaction? I suggest you go to couple's therapy first. There seems to be a lot there the needs to be worked on that asking online would barely do your relationship justice.
2006-10-01 18:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by kay 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What culture and country are you emailing into Ask Yahoo from? If your wife believes married people should NOT have sex, then does your wife believe only UNMARRIED people should have sex?
Find out from your wife WHO you should have sex with then?
Should you have sex only with a mistress you are going to get..., someone you're NOT married to?
I have a question for you; Why didn't YOU put your foot down 12 years ago and tell your wife that YOU will have sex WITH HER..., ANYTIME YOU WANT!
Let me phrase it better..., Why didn't you put your foot UP HER A*SS - 12 years ago when she told you that she wasn't going to be your c*um bucket?
You have to delve some fault for all the time that has gone by, but if you want sex from your wife, tell her you are going to f*ck her and there isn't anything she can do about it. If she still refuses, then feel justified on getting a mistress, or even divorce the frozen popsicle you married twelve years ago. Obviously there is no children... So that is good...
After 12 years your bloated testicles finally rang a bell in your brain!
2006-10-01 18:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by Number1son 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, society lied to you? Didn't you take vows that said for better or worse? That said it all. Marriage is hard as hell. It is no day at the beach and if you think getting a divorce and finding someone else will lead to the perfect relationship, you lied to yourself, not society.
You are gonna find flaws in any relationship. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. The question is are you Man enough to live up to your vows and support your wife emotionally. Do you really think her life is a cakewalk? Trust me, you are far from perfect too. Do yourself a favor and ask her what she doesn't like about you.
You should talk to your wife, really talk. Running to another woman only satisfied an urge of the flesh temporarily and worsened the situation.
2006-10-01 18:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you wont agree but you,re being screwed mate,,a wife should be sharing love making with her husband and if it were me id be out quick sharpish,,your desires are normal,her expectations are not,,if this has been your relationship thus far i am surprised if you are nothing more than house mates,,you should not have to live like this and you may or may not desire divorce but this said,,you have grounds and if the law states it is reasonable grounds for divorce so should you consider that having sex with your wife is a reasonable request,,have a word with yourself love,,,this isnt healthy for a married couple and if she has issues it is unfair for her to sit and do nothing about them,,why should you miss out because of something she decided long ago without even sharing it with you,,,,,i bet you were really shocked when this problem rocked up....poor you is all i can say.
2006-10-02 00:06:12 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like your dreams have been shattered. You can leave that marriage and go about your life which it sounds like you don`t have much love to lose if you do leave the marriage. Marriage works 2 ways and it doesn`t seem like she wants to give her part. Is there children involved if so that explains why you are staying in this marriage...Have you thought of counseling? Well I hope I helped you some...Good Luck to you
2006-10-01 17:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by Carol H 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your wife is very unusual.
You are a saint.
However, on this basis, can you technically divorce her if the marriage actually WAS consummated?
Interesting dilemma.
I don't think this was God's plan.
You may have to seduce her over and over again. But how to go about it if no one ever taught you how? sounds like she knows less than you!
She must be pretty scary.
2006-10-01 18:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
society didn't lie to you. you got stuck with a bad wife. She is not allowed to take sex away. Mine spouse takes medication that keeps him from wanting it. but I have been married 9 years and have had it more than you. Ask her to go to counselling. If she refuses and you wish to remain married, go to counselling on your own. Otherwise, the only way to get the sex you are entitled to, is divorce and marry someone who will do her wifely duty toward you. It is a woman's duty to have sex just as it is a man's duty to give his wife sex. after they marry.
2006-10-01 17:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by LatterDaySaint and loving it 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you're in a trusting relationship then you fairly must have already got had this verbal substitute together with your better 0.5. in case you do not recognize them that properly then you fairly must be taking precautions no count what they say. and also you're 100% allowed to ask for DNA finding out. there is also no justice for adult adult males who attempt to slip off their condoms in the time of sex to impregnate the lady. it really is a probability regularly used by skill of abusive adult adult males easily.
2016-11-25 21:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have been disillusioned by society in one aspect or another. You're still a young man. I'd try to get therapy for your wife to teach her how to enjoy sex. If she refuses, get an annulment.
2006-10-01 20:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by Superstar 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why didn't you have the marriage annulled when she told you that important fact?
2006-10-01 18:03:57 · answer #10 · answered by Claire 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋