I have cought her red handed on several lies about different things so I dont trust her, she admitted to haveing a sex relation with a guy friend of hers when she told me she was going to have a father-daughter day with her dad. She now lives seperate from me saying its just untill she saves the money to buy us a house. she lives rent free in her ex-husbands house and says he dont live there yet my daughter at age 5 says he does because i have her with me she spends the week-ends with her. I have to call first before ever going over there. I been there once and didnt see any proof a guy living there but I didnt look behind closet doors or in any pantries such as bedroom droors. This is really bugging me because I do think I love her but I dont want to stick around if its going to lead to another time her having sex behind my back.
2006-10-01 17:47:42 · 29 answers · asked by mike_ray0471 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would leave her!! You sound like a good man!! You could find someone else to appreciate you!! Yeah i understand you do love her, but it dosent sound like she really loves you, if she did she would be here with you and longing for the moment you go see her and not making you make a appointment!! It sounds like you gotta lot of thinking to do!!
Good Luck
2006-10-01 18:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity is always a good reason to consider divorce. It is obvious that she is trying to lead a double life and most likely will continue over the next few years. At this point, your thoughts may be to stay together because of your daughter, but in all honesty, it will benefit her less if you continue to be in this relationship. Her mother is not setting a good example and neither will you by letting her know it's ok to live and share your life with someone that lies. Many times parents don't realize that this affects the children in how they grow up and lead their own relationships in the future. Unfortunately, at the same time, you need to make sure your wife seeks help. Sometimes people become such compulsive liars that they eventually believe their own deceit and don't have a real grasp of reality anymore. This could also be something that will affect and harm your daughter in the long run. Chances are, if she lies to you, she'll lie to your daughter.
2006-10-01 17:54:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. So you are telling us that you two are married, but she moved out to save money to buy a house. She's living at her exhusbands house. How do you get punked like that? If you want proof that she is, in deed, the only one living there, then show up unexpectedly. Why do you have to call your wife to ask if you can come over? You two aren't dating. Whats hers should be yours? Honestly, the arrangements are kind of in her favor, no? Was she not living rent-free in your apartment? She has shady written all over her. Save yourself the heartache and let her go.
2006-10-01 17:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. It is obvious that you indeed still love her. The good news is this marriage can still work out. The bad news is you are going to both need professional help for it to happen.
a) She has to move back in with you - within a short deadline or move in w/ her dad, if you can trust him.
b) She is to spend week-ends with you.
c) As a ritural cleansing of the marriage bed, when she moves back in with you - no sex for 1 month and then a champagne dinner out.
d) Get GOOD professional counseling. Check w/ a local church for referals. They handle the most calls for marital help.
God's blessing as you seek to uphold you love.
2006-10-01 18:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a compromise..It must have respect and love for another. If that is the case, why you will stay on your marriage. If she doesnt love you anymore at least have some respect for you..And besides it will affect more to your daughter if she see her dating with many guys and you two are still living together..
You are the one who can answer your question.. examine yourself.. If there is worth more to continue that marriage..
2006-10-01 19:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've already got the proof and u say u don't trust her..are u waiting for her to say i'm sorry when u know she won't really mean it..if she's livin in her ex-husbands house how did he become her ex was she cheating on him with u and now has gone back to him.........that's the perks of having your cake and eating it 2.boo let it go but love is blind............don't think she wants u back just because u are willing to take her back STAND UP AND BE A MAN ........TIME TO MOVE ON
2006-10-01 18:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this woman is a compulsive liar. Don't put yourself through bothering with her as she is not worth it. You say yourself you don't trust her and without trust you have nothing. Just keep the relationship amicable so you can have access to your daughter but forget anything else as you can do much better.
2006-10-01 17:51:33 · answer #7 · answered by auburn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is very vital in a relationship. if trust is lost why continue. you will just suffer and your wife as well.
we are on the same boat. my husband has been doing that several times. i have caught him for many times at first i keep fighting for him cause for the same reason "I LOVE HIM" but what it lead me is him controlling me,, my life depends on him/ i want to be perfect in everything so he would not do it again. but again same thing happen..
I LOve him..yes but do i trust him.. its hard to say yes becasue several attempts would lead me to doublt everything he is saying .. we are now separated for 2 years, no divorce here in the philippines, but the good thing it brought me was i was able to gain my self confidence.. am back on my feet again. i respect my self again and i trust people around me. maybe 3 things you need to ask yourself
1. will it benefit me staying with him/her?
2. will i continue to trust him/her even though i have caught him/her several times?
3. what would be the advantage/disadvantage if i will pursue with the annulment/divorce?
2006-10-01 18:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by crystalink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, hire a good detective to have evident.
Once you have the evidents you need, then think about whether or not you want to divorce her.
If my spouse was cheating on me, he's out the door because there is no trust and I don't want any veneral diseases.
2006-10-01 17:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get a higher opinion of yourself and move on.
Your so called wife, sounds like bad news.
2006-10-01 18:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋