I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. in the start it was awesome. he always wanted to go places and do things, always wanted to stay here but then some problems happend. This guy was tryin to break us up basicly, I no longer talk to that guy and if he calls here I always hang up on him. but now my boyfriend doesn't want to spend much time with me anymore, he doesn't want to stay here anymore.. this weekend he ended up getting drunk, was dancin around this one girl and left me sitting by myself at a table. He doesn't drink much. maybe a couple beers every so many months. I have asked him if he's happy in this relationship and he says he is.. he says he loves me alot. and I know he wouldn't cheat.. but I would like to spend more time with him and everything I try seems like it fails. I need some help.. and advice..
2006-10-01 17:35:42 · 10 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok. Let's re-evaluate the situation. Turn the tables. It seems to me you're not asking the right questions......
Are you without a doubt happy in your relationship? Are you head over heels in love with this guy?
If you answered yes to both of these questions, you're halfway there.
What you need to do is sit down and talk to him. Let him know that this conversation is very important to you, and possibly vital to the success of your relationship together. Let him know how you feel. Tell him everything you just told me and the rest of the world. Him dancing with that girl obviously made you uncomfortable, if not even a little jealous, or else you wouldn't have mentioned it. Bring it up.
Let him know that that other guys is NOTHING to you. If you believe this guy is truly marriage material, pull every string withing your power (and reason) to make things happen and to put that spark back in your lives. Change your number, for example. Make sure that there is no way possible the two of you can run into each other.
Try doing something your boyfriend likes doing. Whether it be golfing, shooting some hoops or just fishing, give it a try. Even if you don't like it, all of those things can be fun....and a good resolution to a problematic relationship. The key word here, and everywhere else is...COMMUNICATION.
Good luck sweetie. And remember, if things don't work out between the two of you, it's NOT the end of the world. It just wasn't meant to be, and you will find someone better in your future.
2006-10-01 17:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by Momma Jette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys may be unsatisfied with themselves somehow...it's not you particulary. If you are together but he does seek you out, he has gotten comfortable and has put 'future dreams'
in a sort of limbo. In other words, he's not moving positively forward with you. At this point, you could continue until he finds someone or something that stimulates him or you leave him and he does it sooner. Whatever youre doing it isnt enough, if you stop, he'll move away from you even more. Im sorry to say, it seems its his problem, his struggle. He may come around after a very short separation...that's what you might want to try...not saying to break up with him, but be unavailable for a short spell, busy with things youve been putting off etc. This may give him and you some space to reflect.
2006-10-02 00:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all it sounds like maybe you are trying to put the blame on yourself for his behaviour. I think you handled the situation with the other guy calling rather well in the end.
So if he's letting that get to him in some way, then he needs to learn to suck it up.
After two years of being together, it may be considered normal for some of the interest to wane in a relationship. But if it is getting to the point where you are concerned for the future of the relationship, then he needs to start listening to you.
Communication between couples is very important for the continued health of the relationship. Continue talking to him, but don't ask him what's wrong. TELL HIM what your concerns are, & make sure that you have been heard.
If he doesn't want to do the work, well......
Best of Luck!
2006-10-02 00:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and really discuss this with him. Explain to him that you are worried about the future of your relationship because it seems to be deteriorating, and you want things to get better not worse. Find out if he carries any resentment about that other guy or if there are any other issues. If he does not want to talk about this, and things do not get better, I think your relationship is in trouble, because it sounds as if you two might be growing apart, and not together, the way a good relationship should. But sit down and discuss this, because its possible its just a phase or that he is unaware of how you feel or that you are growing apart. Remember, good communication is perhaps the most important key to a good relationship.
Good luck.
2006-10-02 00:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Akane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is bored with you, perhaps you didn't end the communication with the other guy quickly enough for your boyfriend to believe you are worth staying with and your boyfriend might be staying with you until he finds someone worth dropping you for...just right the wrongs and learn from your mistakes.
2006-10-02 00:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say keep loving him and maybe try to back off a little maybe hes feeling scared or having a mid life crisis or something
as far as him dancing on some other girl id let him know (nicely, but firmly) that thats just not cool
2006-10-02 00:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will tell ur bf how u feel and if he doesnt make u happy anymore break up with him then maybe he'll realize ur serious
2006-10-02 00:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by queenbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him space. you will run him off.
he wants to be his own person too, it also give you something to talk about.
live and let live.
you said it yourself he wont cheat.?.
2006-10-02 04:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by stcgoodman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find things that intrest him and get involved that way. good luck
2006-10-02 00:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by stormyjoem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok I tried real hard to read this post.. did you pass Composition 101?
2006-10-02 00:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋