Will you give me constructive criticism on my poem?

Question

If you just want to be mean, please don't bother. Otherwise I'd like to hear what you think. Thanks.


Yes

How afraid I was to approach this man.
Would I be a fool?
Am I mistaken in my perception?
Am I the one he wants?
I see him
With his lips that make me shiver,
His words that mean something, that connect.
I want to be gathered in his arms.
Do my wants matter?
Should I ask?
Do I dare?
I walk to him and
My pounding heart beats harder when
He says "yes."

Answer 1

I'm no expert, but I like it ;-)

Answer 2

Do your wants matter "YES"
Should you ask "YES"
Give him the poem
You only live once dear and if he's THE ONE then you'll walk off into the sunset and live happilly ever after. Otherwise you'll go on with life and meet another spirit you can love.

There is only one thing that makes poetry real and beautiful is that it comes from the heart and mind of a beautiful spirit and you've got it !!

Answer 3

It was a really good well written poem. ( It's nice to finally read something that isn't misspelled!) Keep up the good work!

Answer 4

I think it's pretty good....not the type i usually like. But it's good. i'd give it about an 8.5 out of 10.

Answer 5

Happy for you
That he said 'Yes'.
You had your wants
But look beyond his lips and words.
Are they temporary
Or are they for good?
Only time will tell
And you'll have to find that out yourself :-)

Answer 6

i like the concept. i really liked the seventh line. i just wanted the next line to flow with it sound wise. hey play with.

hoped i encouraged

Answer 7

That's lovely dear, and a true sentiment to anyone who has gone through that.....Thanks for sharing.......

Answer 8

I think you should call Beau.