2006-10-01 17:06:18 · 11 answers · asked by Tesa B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
be open and honest, and just ask.. wouldnt you rather educate them on safe sex, rather than worry, and possibly become a grandparent.
2006-10-01 17:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by tinagrace624 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully you have a good relationship with her. I would pick a time to sit down and have a real talk with her so you can ask. Get your facts and stats straight before this talk so you can provide her with acurate information and not just an emotional upheaval. Unplug the phone, lock the door, and turn off the TV. Be very gentle and don't accuse or yell about it. If she has or is having sex already, you can't undo it, but you can let her know that you are always on her side and that you want to discuss the things she can do to protect herself. You can tell her that it doesn't mean you approve of the behavior but that you want her to be safe and prevent pregnancy. If the answer to your suspicions is yes, I would tell her you would like for her to start seeing a gynocologist regularly and talk about whenther the pill is a good idea. Ask her questions and encourage her to ask some as well (the reason for doing the research beforehand). It may actually stun her that her mom knows about this stuff and can fill in some blanks for her! (in this all-information-all-the-time world, an amazing number of kids don't actually know alot about sex or the results and effects of their behavior). A long calm talk will stick with her longer than a shout fest that leaves her emotionally drained. That sort of thing could make her act out of spite. At the end of the talk, encourage her to come to you with any questions or concerns that she may have later and let her know that even if you don't know the answer right then, that you will both find the answer together. Honesty will win her trust and respect and will help forge a closure relationship for the future. Best wishes!
2006-10-02 00:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by jigsawinc 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, 3 of the 4 replies you have already gotten are good. Aj's answer on 'just having trust in your child' is sort of living in a fantasy world in that, you realy don't want to be bothered with the situation untill it's to late.. the other 3 answer though are very good, OPEN communication is the only way you are going to gain their trust BEFORE their curiosity gets them into touble. however none of these answers realy answered your question. To know IF your child IS having sex, 1 look for attitude changes, 2. your gut feeling is usualy about 80% right, and 3 go to home depot and buy yourself a small portable neon black light and check your kid's underware before you wash them. sperm will highlight under a blacklight.. good luck.
2006-10-02 00:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Fred S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, when I was a kid my mom asked me and I said no. I was having mad amounts of sex. She told me that all I had to do was tell her and that she would help me get birth control but I knew she was lying, yes she would get me birth control but I'd never be able to leave the house again, my boyfriend would never be able to call again- she's strap me down (and rightly so but not in the mind of a teenager). I wound up pregnant at 14 and my boyfriend dumped me. Offer to your teenager to get them help with things they need for having sex. educate them in methods of birth control. If you have a daughter make sure she knows where she can go for pregnancy testing and that she knows she need to be checked for std's. And that condoms are not fool proof and she should be on something. Offer to get some for her even if she isn't having sex for "just in case" this way if she doesn't want to tell you she's having sex she will still be able to have the birth control- just continue to supply it monthly without question. Educate her in tricks that men play such as pinching the condom so the sperm comes out and blaming it on "the condom broke" or that he can start without a condom and finish in one and she won't get pregnant or pulling out... those don't work very well. And if you have a son make sure he knows how to properly use a condom and that he knows the tricks a girl will play as well. Such as her saying she's on the pill, half of them aren't. Make aure he knows the risks of not using condoms and that he can get tested for STD'S at the local health dept. And that if a girl says she's pregant to come to his parents ASAP no matter what. Good luck
2006-10-02 08:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are suspicious, i'd say it's for good reason.
Be sure that your child is aware of the dangers of pregnancy and stds and unprotected sex. I'd offer birth control options and plenty of education on this subject.
Take your daughter for a pap smear and put her on the pill.
If you know your child is too young to have sex, then they're definitely too young to bring a child into this world.
2006-10-02 00:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well there is always the "just ask" approach. Just take your child out for a day and hang out and just bring it up casually. Dont let the child know that you are/would be disappointed in them for doing it otherwise they may not open up completely to you. People make mistakes and if you havent always been open with your child about sex, then he/she may have tried it just to see what it was all about. It happens alot. Good luck.
2006-10-02 00:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by val 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't be to sure. My younger brother totally has my parents fooled! My dad says that Lelan(my brother) is telling him everything, that they talk about it all. But that is so not true. He tells me all the time. I don't want to tell them because it isn't my business but I make sure to talk to my brother about protection and the consequences of his actions. But even if they say they are opening up with you, you can never be to sure. My brother isn't a bad person either..he's actually a great guy to get along with..he just don't want my parents to know so he tells them what they want to hear. Me I just straight up told my mom and I'm pretty sure my dad knew. The main thing is teach them all of the consequences, if its a girl get her check out and get her the pill and if its a boy then make sure he knows what to use for protection.
2006-10-02 00:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to ask! If you suspect, then you might be right. The best you can do, is have the talk. Supply them with condoms and if you have a daughter, take her to the doc for tests and birth control.
2006-10-02 00:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by glitz_and_glitter 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
By asking them
2006-10-02 01:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by beautyj24 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have a good kid, you need to have trust in him/her. Just because he/she is older, it doesn't actually mean they're having sex.
2006-10-02 00:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by AJ 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋