she wasnt here and friend looking for school book with 2 others distracted me not knowing i came back found opening drawer .said was nothing let me see i said there it was pot .am still angry. it wasted my life and dont want the same for her.
i contacted thier parents but want to fix the problem !one more to go and yet to hear response from another .
what can any one do ??????????
2006-10-01 16:56:37 · 17 answers · asked by martinmm 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
calm yourselves .no black eye .just how angy. she is grounded -has to take posters out her room- clean and paint -the door is off until further notice -(respect my privacy)-has to help paint house even if the 20 days is up .would have been off grounded oct 5 not going where said .
2006-10-03 19:52:07 · update #1
being angry is the worst way to deal with it. if u love her and i would say u do because u r asking. all we can do is try and guide our children and instill morals and values. if u don't handle it it in an understanding way she will rebel and do it anyway. then u will lose her.
2006-10-01 17:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by jesse james 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said it wasted your life, therefore the apple isn't falling far from the tree. Remember that PSA back in the 80's? "I learned it from you dad!!"
They learn by example and education. You can't get too mad at her because that would make you a hypocrite. And hitting her? I sincerely hope that was just a frustrated attempt at a joke. You've contacted the other parents, which was the responsible thing to do, so you're off the hook for that. However, you need to have a good sit-down chat with your daughter. Don't scream or yell, just explain your policy. That sort of behavior isn't tolerated in your house. You are sober now (I hope) and this is a threat to your personal sobriety. Plus, this sort of thing could get the entire family in a heap of trouble if one of the other parents decides to be a prick about things. I'm sure she hasn't even considered any of the ramifications of her actions. It's your job to explain all that to her.
Good luck to you both.
2006-10-02 00:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Irish Red 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just have a good talk with her. Don't go into the conversation angry because you will say things that you shouldn't. Remember, you were where she is now. You should remember what it felt like to be a teenager, trying to spread your wings. I'm not saying that what she did is right. But don't attack her because that will only drive her away. You want her trust and love and you want her to know that no matter what, you love her and will not stop. Set boundaries and give guidance, tell her that behavior is not acceptable. But do it in a calm manner. Give her the chance to talk about it and her feelings.
My son is 17 and I have had to have these talks with him lately. I give him the chance to share his feelings. I don't tell him that he can't do something, because that is totally unrealistic. I remind him of the health problems and tell him that he has to make his own choices. I hope that he makes the right ones. I can only hope that I have taught him the right things so that he can make those correct choices.
Good luck.
2006-10-02 00:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Cherry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that she should be grounded to some extent, but not so hreat that it messes up her life for a long time, if you do that then she may rebel. I can talk to you from 2 perspectives (1) as a social worker who works with delinquents - educated her on what drugs are all about and how they can relly mess up her life; hve her go to a few NA and/or AA meetings and see people who have really messed up their life and are now paying for it. or (2) I can talk to you as a person who got into trouble for it as a teen. WHen I was 15, I had a B-day party and had a few beers there and some pot, my parents found out about it after the fact and gounded me for an entire year and made me go to NA and AA meetings for an enitre year. It was too much and I began to rebel later on for what they had made me do. That was enitre year of no friends, no going out, no learners permit, etc.
So My advice is to be calm, cool, and rational with her. Let her do some of the talking too.
2006-10-02 00:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by misti c 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does she do this ? Is she insecure or feels unwanted or unloved ? Or ......
You got to chat with her and know why exactly she does what she does. That would be a permanent solution to the problem.
You may punish her one day but she may still continue her old ways behind your back. You got to solve the root causes of the problem once and for all.
Why not take her for professional counseling and De addiction ? Change her school and her bad company.That would be quite useful don't you think ?
2006-10-02 00:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Bachelor boy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make her switch schools, see how many times she used it. If she actully is keeping it with her more than likely she used it many many many times before because people who use it everynow and then or just once don't keep it hid. I'm sorry but no matter how much you talk to her about it and even she acts "changed" about it if she's around those same people even just at school chances are she's gonna go right back to smoking it.
2006-10-02 00:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by agape♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well with a parent like you, threatening to blacken a child's eye, she is bound to go wrong. Just cause you wasted your life doesn't mean she will also. She might need attention from her parents. Sit her down, talk to her like an adult, tell her how wrong it is and give her an appropriate punishment. Make sure she knows that you love her.
2006-10-02 00:01:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Same problem with my son, get that child into rehab and into counseling fast !! grounding well that never worked for me but these programs helped my son contact your local youth organization for further help. Good Luck !!
2006-10-02 00:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by stormyjoem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
both grounded from certain friends is a good start then maybe if she gets caught again call the cops and tell them to come and scare the **** out of her they love doing that. it worked with me I was 15 that was 32 years ago havent touched it ever again.
2006-10-02 00:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were caught with pot, and some one gave you a black eye, they would go to jail for abuse. Why do parents think that abusing their children solves all of their problems. No wonder the child smokes pot.
2006-10-02 00:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by sandra g 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋