if i recently found out that my ex that has custody has been heavily drinking and fighting with his gf in front of my kids, do I have the right to keep kids as long as needed? we do not have a set visitation schedule...please help
2006-10-01 16:53:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop being stupid, they are his kids. Don't take them away from him. As long as he is not hurting them they will be just fine. Maybe his new girlfriend is just as bad as you and he does not like her like he does not like you so they fight. Also, maybe the new g/f is better then you and you don't want your kids to like her so you are making stuff up. You don't live with him so you have no idea how much he drinks or how much they fight. Get a life and grow up. They are his kids and you can't take them away!
2006-10-01 18:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by dohm84 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First you need to make sure your children are safe. They are witnessing emotional abuse and physical abuse which can hurt the children in the long run. However, if there is not eminent physical danger to children at this time, (physical abuse, riding in a vehicle while he is intoxicated, etc.) you need to go through the Court's. If you suspect harm, as you obviously do, in terms of the children's mental and physical safety, call Child Protective Services and/or 911, if, for example the children call you during an outbreak of domestic abuse or drunkenness. Second you need to set a custody/visitation hearing. You should go to the family court facilitator's office. They can help you fill out forms to set a custody & visitation schedule. You can do it on an emergency/expedited basis or due course, depending on the severity of the situation. If you feel to uncomfortable or scared to send them with the father, don't do it. As you said, there is no order in place. Make sure you call the authorities if he gets angry and abusive when you inform him that you will not allow him to pick up the children until you know the environment in his household is safe. Reassure your children that both you and daddy love them very much; however, you both want to make sure that they are doing the very best for you. Further, reassure them that none of this is their fault, that this is just a phase that parents sometime go though to become better parents and that each household will make sure that everything gets better. Let them know they can talk to daddy on the phone. If you have two phone lines, be on the other line. Don't let him poison the impression of what you are doing.
Protect your children first. There is no order. Do what you have to for their safety and growth. You do not want them to learn that abusing alcohol and other people is normal. Take action fast before it is too late. Consider taking the children to therapy so they get a professional viewpoint, that is unbiased, teaching them that abuse of alcohol and physical abuse of others is not okay.
Good luck!
2006-10-01 18:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kitt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you have a set visitation schedule? They are your children, now you hear that it may be bad at his house and you want to do what? Start seeing your children regularly, on a scheduled time, and don't miss a single visit. Then when your children feel comfortable around you once again, you can only hope they will tell you the truth of what is going on. I would also tape record anything that is considered neglectfull or harmful to the children. If you are in a better position to have custody of your children and you are prepared to show that to the Court system and the Child protective system, you will probably be able to get them back. But, do not go pointing a finger at someone else if you have your own secrets to hide. If all goes well, you should make sure your children get counseling to realize that type of life and behavior in not normal.
2006-10-01 17:46:25 · answer #3 · answered by pixiegypsy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a lawyer to deal with it. Cause in reality there's nothing you can do...the kids will never say anything and if you were to call CPS they would find nothing. Your ex would cover it all up like they are all fine and they would close the case. Then your Ex would make your life more miserable knowing that you did something. Trust me i went through this for 7 years.
So my advice to you is get a good lawyer and let him do something. otherwise it's going to eat you up inside for years to come.
2006-10-01 17:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by rinoabell 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I know in Indiana when you have the kids for visitation, you need to call CPA (CPS) as soon as possible and you will be granted emergency custody of the children.
2006-10-01 16:56:22 · answer #5 · answered by sexyghostgirl69 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i really think that the only way to keep him from seeing them is if hes not paying regularly as mandated, or the kids are in danger......i was in a similar situation and if u get counsel.......this fiasco could constitute endagerment.
2006-10-01 16:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by blkhawk51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OFCOURSE YOU HAVE ALL THE RIGHT...you have to make sure your kids has good environment to live in so that their teenage life will not suffer..if yuou love your kids, take them with you and be a good model for them..
2006-10-01 17:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by harukashin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should make an appointment to talk to social services and tell them that he does that and that if he is going to be drinking then he shouldnt have the kid at that time
2006-10-01 16:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by dancergirl302 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'd get a lawyer
2006-10-01 16:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋