NEED HELP ! I'm a mom and my 5 year old daughter she just got punished by her dad(my husband) because?

Question

She's ALWAYS running off in the street, and crossing the street.My husband was going to smack her butt, and i didn't let him,(he's not
aggressive), he got mad with me ALSO because he sent her to her room without watching tv, and i told him he was over reacting.
Did i do anything wrong ? What the best way to correct this ?

Answer 1

I think he was in the right here, I mean, if you take certain things away from a child, eventually the kid is going to know what the punishment is and know that if that's all you're gonna do to her, then so be it. A spanking at that age makes them think twice before putting their life in danger like that. Now, if it were something like cleaning the room, or finishing your peas, then yeah, spanking's a little extreme. But, she was going to become roadkill. Spankings perfect for a kid like that. Just don't do it over silly stuff

Answer 2

It's hard not to over react in a situation like this. It could be a matter of life and death. However, except in extreme cases, I think there is almost always a better way than hitting. Punishment should never amount to more than the crime from your child's perspective. In this case It's obvious to you how serious the crime is, but it isn't to her. To punish her severely is only confusing. Whenever possible the punishment should deal only with the crime. Hitting rarely is dealing with the crime, and when possible, the punishment should be a teaching and learning tool not do as I say because this is what I demand. You say this is on ongoing problem? Have you pointed out dead animals on the road and showed her what happens when you get hit by a car? Have you showed her videos of children being hit by cars or taken her to the hospital to actually meet a child who has been hit by a car? Why not? Do you not think these things would give her a stronger message, a better understanding of why she shouldn't go running out in the street? Yes they are traumatic but you are teaching her something that she can perceive as being done because you love her and don't want it to happen to her. Not just because you are demanding something that she has no understanding about.

Answer 3

When your daughter or son runs across the street there two things that will come to play...your love and your anger and the both will play simultaneously.
Your reaction will be love that brings about anger and that anger is stem from fear of losing your child or thinking what might happen to your precious one if you don't correct the situation now while he or she is alive. If you sleep on this...you may never get another chance to react with this anger and punish your child.
It would make me very angry, but not to the point that you harm your child, but to the pint that your child will learn today that there will be no more running across the street and that you mean business and the child will learn and you will have saved that child's life. Shower them with love, but by all means do not ever go light when they have done a terrible thing like that. The next time you might hear the screaching of the tires and wham..your worst nightmare just kicked you in your a**. You will live with thast regret for the rest of your life and you will never forget that you could of saved it from happening if you had used better judgement on the punishment that gets their attention real quick.
God Bless You and your children...have a most wonderful life raising them:)

Answer 4

My advice is going to be rather simple. It has to be because you are working with a mind of a five year old. You should do some role playing with your daughter. Make a drawing of a road and take her favorite doll or stuffed animal and use them as examples on how she should safely cross. Use a toy car and show her what could happen. Some children are auditory learners and others are VISUAL learners. Then take her to the curb with her doll and Say, How would Dolly cross the street? Make her show you what she has learned. Chances are she'll grow to be 30 years old and in the back of her mind she'll be repeating (How would Dolly cross the street?) every time she steps off the curb. Now to work on your husband. In my opinion spanking teaches your child aggression. (Sending your child to their room without watching TV) Honestly would that teach her how to cross the street? No! Punishment should always fit the crime.

Answer 5

I don't believe in ever hitting a child, so I'll agree with not letting him swat her behind. There's enough violence that your child will see in this world - she doesn't need more at home.

However, running into the street is SERIOUS and should have consequences. Sending her to her room is probably not overreacting - she won't die from missing a sitcom. (although, she probably thinks she will . . .LOL) If she does this a lot, work out with your husband what you guys think the punishment should be. . . a night with no TV, extra chores, whatever. Then tell her. Explain why this is so serious - a 5 year old can understand - and then stick to your guns with the punishment. No ifs, no ands, and no buts. I'll bet one time seeing a united Mom and Dad doling out serious punishment will cure what ails her.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You both need to be aware of each others parenting abilities and limitations. When it comes to the well being of your child, you both need to be prepared to make tough decisions. I think sending a child to their room without tv is not overreacting. Discuss it with your husband as wandering into the street is not the toughest decision you will see over the next 15 years. When they are 5 it is high on the list and a good foundation now will help in the long run. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Your daughter needs to be rep remanded for not making a good choice. since she always runs into the street try playing the freeze game so she learns to stop immediately. I believe in giving children explanations for why they should not do things but if she asks why in the middle of the street and a car is coming, there is no time for an explanation. sounds like she's gotten away with it for far too long, especially at five yrs, she's old enough to understand. You and your husbands idea of parenting will sometimes be different, it doesn't mean he is wrong.

Answer 8

I think he's right on this one - other than running off and getting taken by some freak, running into the street and getting killed is probably the worst thing that can happen. She needs to understand just how important it is that she stay where she's supposed to be. I am not big on spanking, but a small immediate swat on the backside will to a lot more to drive home the importance of this one rule than all the time in her room ever could.

Answer 9

I know you don't want him to punish her because you love her, but she really could get hurt or killed running into the street, and I believe you know that. What you and your husband need to do is present a united front, as children, even one as young as 5 will see there is conflict and play up to you every time, I know I was doing this with our daughter (sometimes still slip and defend her) however, when my sister overheard her tell her cousins that all she has to do to get her way with me is cry, I was livid. I had a long talk with her, which scared the crap out of her cause she did not realize anyone had overheard her. From that day on I stick by my husband whether I agree or not, if I don't agree we talk about it later in private to see if we the parents can come up with a compromise. It is difficult and I completely understand your situation. Hang in there!

Answer 10

Why is a 5 year old allowed to run anywhere near a street? Is no one watching her? If she does something wrong, it is perfectly natural that a parent would punish them, so not sure what your question is? She must know that being near a busy street is not a good thing or she'll get hit by a car. My thoughts are..........you need to keep a closer eye on your child, lock the doors, etc., whatever it takes. YOU are the adult. Act like one.