Me and my hubby have been together for 8 yrs and married for 2. He never wants to spend time together when we are together all we do is yell at each other we have 3 kids together is it worth staying or should i just say forgit it and move on ? He is 28 and i am 23 he could care less about working or providing for us he rather hang out at his brother in laws house or play ball and huntting so do i just deal with it or say bye?????????
2006-10-01 16:22:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i been in your shoes, It might be time to say bye, but stay close where he can stay in your kids lives now and forever.
2006-10-01 16:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to tell you - flat out - that you should leave. Only you know that answer. What I can say - from experience - he will most likely never change. My ex-husband was like that - and I decided that enough was enough. I wanted a REAL man, that wanted me for me, that would and could make sacrifices for the relationship if need be. And I did. After my divorce, I stopped looking - I was fed up with being used and neglected. But I met a guy that thought I was the prettiest, sexiest, woman alive. He put me on a pedastal, and made me feel like no other man ever did. He had a job (at that point) for almost 10 years, and THAT alone made me want him!!! We've been together 8 years now, married for 5. He RESPECTS me, he genuinely cares about me - and he enjoys spending time with me. AND he actually still has teh same job!!! You are young - move on while you can - do you want to be 35 years old, angry and bitter??
2006-10-01 23:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking people if it is worth it or not...but that is only something you can answer. I understand by asking others out there for their opinion, but advice is not something you will recieve here. You stated that your husband does not feel it's important to provide for your family, or that the two of you do not spend quality time "appropriately". Well, ask yourself, "are you really wanting to spend the rest of your adult life dealing with this, day in and day out?" I understand that you have kids and it may make the situation harder, but that is not the case. Do you think your kids would be "happier" seeing their parents constantly arguing...you are not setting a good example for your children by continuing to stay in a relationship that is both unhealthy for you and them. If you are concerned about your kids well-being you need to look at the situation from their point of view...and how this could affect their future. All relationships come with problems...you will have your ups and downs, but there definitelly shouldn't be more DOWN times. Please think of your happiness and your children...once you do, the answer should become clear as day.
2006-10-01 23:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by KG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are quite young to already have 3 kids! But....
ya know he helped make those babies, so he should be helping to support them! Good God are you sure he's 28 and not 15?! He's a father, 28, has responsibilities, a husband, and he wants to do what he wants to do?! The last time I checked that kind of person is selfish, immature, a slug, undeserving to breathe the same air as the rest of the human race, and just plain needs to be squished like a bug!
Pack up those babies, say adios to slug, and go straight to Health and Welfare and have them start paperwork to nail his *ss for child support! The judge will make sure he gets his lazy, no good *ss working or he'll see jail time!
Don't deal with his crap!! SAY BYE!!
2006-10-01 23:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wise man once said, "Past behavior is a good predictor for future behavior."
Look into your future. Do you like what you see?
If a man does not step up and provide for a woman, thats bad. When he doesn't provide for his woman or children, thats worse. You are low on his list of priorities and I'd venture to say, that will never change. And it will probably get worse. But you already knew that.
Start planning now; even if it takes a year or two to build your getaway, do it right. Begin to mentally accept what you have to do and eventually it will become easier. Get off the fence, honey.
2006-10-01 23:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time for a serious talk with him. If he won't support you and you three kids it is time for one of you to move out.
When you leave don't look back or get depressed. There are Social Services that will help you and your kids. File for divorce and get a judgment for child support. Make him pay it Thur the Court.
Best of luck to you I hope it works out without you having. But if He won't work it is best to go now before you have another mouth to feed.
2006-10-01 23:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you stop yelling at him? Maybe if you take responsibility for your share of the relationship, things will improve at least by 50%. Get some counseling so the kids have a 2-parent home. And stop fighting.
2006-10-01 23:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for the kids try not to argue around them, maybe suggest counciling. Ill tell you that parents happy apart than miserable together is better as long as you both are involved and never disapoint them I would make sure you try every option before you call it quits but if you are miserable get out its not worth.
2006-10-01 23:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by SunShineBabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have 3 kids you have to give it a shot. Both of you, not just you trying. After a certain point, one happy parent is better than 2 hateful parents. Have you always been like this, or just recently. I hate so suggest it, but see if anything might have changed to cause him to lose interest.
2006-10-01 23:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by Aaron S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married too and I come to find that men are gonna be men. The more your preach to them as they say they are just gonna do what they want to do. When we keep quite it kinda scares them and they respond differently. Men are pros at ignoring us just like they have theyre mothers so its natural. No fuss is strange I guess to them. I have found this to be true and yet backwards but hey they say girls are more maturer then boys. Good luck and try this out......
2006-10-01 23:27:27 · answer #10 · answered by kc_cuttie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds awful and my condolensces. Try a marriage therapist. If he is unwilling to see the marriage therapist, you are still young enough to leave. The children are a major issue to look at, when you leave where can you go where you will have the most support.
2006-10-01 23:26:30 · answer #11 · answered by Wizdumb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋