I am a 24-year-old female and has no friends besides my step-mother. I feel self conscience in social settings and just feel weird around other people, especially woman my own age. I really want a group of girlfriends that I can just hang out and be funny and comfortable around. With out being phony what can I do?
2006-10-01 15:41:07 · 15 answers · asked by Tiffany V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is going to sound so funny but keep an open mind...when you see a stray and it seems to hang around you, you make that decision of: do I take the stray home?...or do I let it go on its way?...Something has to catch your eye...if it were to walk on by you then you would probably let it pass but when it stops to interact with you, you have to choose. If it growls at you do you try to befriend it?...If it's hurt do you help it? IT cannot speak...just actions and the way people PERCEIVE it........
How are you? Are you defensive? Are you needy? Are you scary in your actions when you hide away or jumpy when someone looks at you?
Just take a long look at yourself and ask yourself... Am I worthy?... and Is this the way I want people to perceive me?
It's just a wake up call to you. You are just as good as everyone else but your attitude (your perception of yourself needs a boost)
Let yourself shine and you will feel and see yourself in a whole new and different light!
Good luck to you...you WILL overcome this...SMILE with confidence!!
2006-10-05 03:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by vikingsonsltw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy what a tough question to answer! Because all of my ex's have said that I'm dysfunctional etc., I wouldn't presume to give you any advice, but I can offer suggestions. Firstly let me explain that I'm male, but as a human, male and female share many of the same insights, although from a slightly different perspective. Firstly, enlarge your social circle, meeting new people can be quite refreshing as well as adding to your store of social skills. If you work, your co-workers could be a resource, if you are in school, those people could be considered, if you go to church, you could network with some of them. The point is, you likely know many more people than you think, and from these people several could be waiting for an indication from you. Good luck, I hope this helps you.
2006-10-01 22:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by ron k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
finding a comfortable group takes time, so you'd have to be prepared to put in the effort and realise that you don't always hit it off with every friend you meet. some friends are just fleeting friends and aren't compatible for a long term friendship, but it's a start in getting to know people. just don't become too clingy. you'll know they are interested or not. kind of like dating i suppose! if you are lucky enough to meet some girls your age and they invite you somewhere. even if you don't want to go, you must GO! you need to make the effort to be social if it doesn't come naturally to you. it's a stepping stone to other things. maybe work on your confidence and appearance and read magazines about what 24 year olds are interested in. it's a tough one starting again, but good luck!
2006-10-01 22:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by MrsTee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. I had to work at establishing my group of friends. They don't necessarily all know each other but they exist according to the setting where I meet them. You have to let others know you are interested in their lives, strike up conversations, give compliments, stay available when all of them are being social (don't hide out on your free time). The BEST way to make real friends is to meet them doing things you love to do. If you really like doing something, do it in a setting where others are doing it too. Then be friendly and interested in them.
2006-10-01 22:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by Melody 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do you work? co-workers generally have something in common with you. if you don't work, do you go to school? again, your peers in class would have something in common. if those don't help, then maybe you should take a couple classes at a local community college, meet some people, they'll be in your age range. or try volunteering for various organizations in your area.
don't be afraid to show up alone and don't worry about the age ranges of the group. friends of all ages are best, different experiences and different advice when you need it. what your interests, try to find some groups along those lines, read at the library to children, volunteer to help with games at a senior center. check for community projects, like neighborhood clean-up groups. these are ways you can meet people and enjoy doing something positive.
don't worry about being yourself, if you are yourself, then you don't have to put on an act or lie about anything, just be honest. there are plenty of other people out there in the same position, don't know how to meet people, worried that people won't like them. just remember friends accept you for who you are, faults and talents alike.
it takes a lot of courage to go out there, I started by making myself go to restaurants alone, usually at lunch time. I'd let myself look around, enjoy the place, sit and eat. I was 17 when I decided I couldn't let friends not being around or not having many, stop me from going out and doing the things I'd like to do. Now I'm 45, divorced and I still don't let friends not being available stop me from getting out and going to the places I want to go. you have to be comfortable with yourself.
2006-10-01 22:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by gelfin1028 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start talking to some of the girls where you work. Ask them if they want to go out and grab a drink or something. Or if you go to church, start talking to some of the females there. There are pleanty of places to meet people if you look hard enough. Good luck!
2006-10-01 22:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by collegebusygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with age comes wisdom and life experience most of us have a hard time in social settings. a lot of people are fake just try to find the few who arnt and make them your friends. people in our lives bring us the most joy and the most misery avoid the latter
2006-10-01 22:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by dpjrocheleau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"With out being phony what can I do? " firstly, its bcoz you are being phony, which makes ppl avoid you. so stop being phony. just say, "hi, i love your dress or perfume or earing" to gals u see.
just say, "hi, you from around here?"
to find your type of frens, start with ur hobbies first, go to the area, then look around which gal dresses similar to u. then start conversation. or look around in friendster.com that shares same location and same hobby. I also can be your fren !!
2006-10-02 00:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is to quit distrusting women your age. Find them at church or daycare or wherever ya hang out. Where is yur friends fom Highschool?
2006-10-01 22:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let loose and be yourself! if you actually care that your girl friend % shows that you're sincere. get to know people...be like an open book. when people feel like they're already accepted they're more open to accept others. over all, dont be intimidated by people who have really demanding/ out-going personalities.. chances are, they feel just as subconscious as you do. "frankie say relax" ;) good luck
2006-10-01 22:46:58 · answer #10 · answered by J.Ellis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋