It seems like in order to make friends, you have to already have friends in the first place. I have no friends. Every time I make a friend, I stay friends with them until they realize I don't have any other friends, then they think I'm a loser and they don't want to be friends anymore. How can I have a big network of friends or even a few friends if having friends already is a prerequisite? I'll make a friend, then I go out of my way to conceal the fact that I don't have other friends by pretending I have some other place to go. But then they wanna meet my friends and it all goes to hell and I'm back to where I started. I try not to act desperate or clingy but it still doesn't work. What should I or can I do?
2006-10-01 15:32:38 · 7 answers · asked by Carl S 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You need to be yourself. If I had a new friend and found out that they were lying to me about who they were and how many friends they had I would think it was weird and I probably wouldn't want to hang out with them anymore. You need to be honest about who you are - no one wants to be friends with a bullcrap artist. If you have hobbies or interests then you need to join a group or class where you can find people with similar interests. And even there you will find that not everybody likes you. There are many different types of people and personalities in this world. I figure that I need to be myself, because if I am pretending to be someone else then I will attract people that I don;t really like or get along with. If I am true to myself then I will naturally attract similar people.
Also, you need to love yourself, I know that sounds crap and cliche but if you don;t enjoy your company why should you expect anyone else too? Do you like you? If not, what don't you like - it's your life, you have the right and opportunity to change and be whatever you desire.
xxo
2006-10-01 15:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by purity14kb 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can make friends by putting yourself in places that will allow you to meet like-minded people. By this I mean you can join various social clubs, organizations, and specific volunteer services according to your own interests that will place you directly in the path of people that you have something in common with. If you happen to volunteer at a hospital, convalescent home, or after school program working with children you could make a new friend easily because you know that he/she has at least one thing in common with you and that is "helping others."
If you attend church frequently you can also become involved with some of the events that are taking place; for singles or the youth. The holiday season is approaching fast, and there will be so much to involve yourself with. Many churches open their doors to feed the homeless or need volunteers to drop off Christmas gifts to needy families---you might meet a new friend in this way.
In addition there are many pen pal programs you can find out more about on line. Your new friends could be in a different state. No need to worry---the internet will make it seem as if they lived right next door. Have fun!!!!
2006-10-01 22:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by roddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mistake you are making is lying to them (about the other friends) you need to be available to the new friend first. Tell the friend that you don't have anyone else to hang out with (make sure you have some other real interests in life) and that you are glad they spend some time with you. Most people would be more than happy to introduce you to their extended circle. Don't forget about the other person sitting by themselves at lunch - they are just like you and may be the best friend you ever find.
2006-10-01 22:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a hobby and look for clubs so you can join and then you start from having something in common. And if you can't think of any thing you like for a hobby try game clubs. And also join my space it is fun and you meet people and talk to them all over the world i know those are virtual friends but that gives you the basis to making and keeping friends.
2006-10-01 22:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by Tiana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One at a time!
2006-10-01 22:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by woundbyte 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bribe them...no..if someone dosent want to be ur friend because you don`t have friends then you dont want then as a friend
2006-10-01 22:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by bolla 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Why does the fact that you have no friends matter?
2006-10-01 22:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lien 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋