Do you think it is Ok for a married man to be text messaging another woman?

Question

I know that he was doing it but now they are send 15 to 20 messages a day. He says it is on one word stuff but what do I do?

but if it is right or wrong someone tell me why

Answer 1

Your question is too broad... The context of the messages is important information if you want ta straight answer. If it is about work, then whats the big deal? If its just friendly, or worse, flirtatious, then it is inappropriate.

Answer 2

I think it completely depends upon the kind of "relationship" he has with this woman. It could be harmless if she's hundreds of miles away, or if it's genuinely a friend/coworker, etc. At this point, it's plausible that he's chatting with someone who shares a hobby or interest that you don't share with him. He could even be giving or getting impartial relationship advice. I've actually had that happen, getting im'd by men for relationship advice. Rare, but it's possible.

I may seem naive, but spouses should be able to trust each other, so the question is more whether he's done or will do something inappropriate, or if you're feeling threatened and insecure. The thing to be concerned about is the content of the messages, and if and whether things have or will go farther than tame, G-rated, cordial conversation.

Things to consider: How did he first start talking to this woman? Does he hide the conversations from you or act strange if you look over his shoulder? Does he respond suspiciously or get upset if you ask to see the messages? How is HER marriage? Are there subtle sexual puns or innuendos or flirty little emoticons besides a simple smile? Is he spending any unusual or unexplained time away from home or is he gone more than usual? Good luck hon.

Answer 3

The reason it is wrong is because he is developing a relationship with another woman. He may not have the intention to cheat but he is putting himself in a position where something could happen. Above and beyond that the fact that it bothers you should be reason enough for him to stop. 15 to 20 messages a day (one word or not) is the start of an affair. He is sending this other woman the message that he is interested in her. She obviously doesn't care that he is married and who knows what he has told her about your relationship. Maybe you should have a conversation with her over lunch and see what she has to say.

Answer 4

It is wrong. It would suggest that he is having an affair or WANTS to have an affair. It needs to stop asap. Make it clear to him. If your phones look alike try on purpose switching phones so he gets yours and you get his, without him knowing. Read the msgs too and see what they say.
You need to explain to him that it is hurting you and your marriage and it must stop now, today. He should not be talking to women at all, by emails, text, phone, nothing. Unless it is his mother or sister, that is it! Put your foot down! You do not have to accept this. Show him how he is to treat you and your marriage.
If he continues start pretending to talk to another man on the phone, etc. Send yourself flowers and gifts to the house. Or have your mom send you flowers pretending it is from a man.
If he doesnt get jealous and doesnt stop talking to other women then consider divorce or counseling.

Answer 5

SIMPLY:
No it's not OK and the reason is that if he's sending anything that he wouldn't want you to see, then even he knows it's wrong.
The definition of propriety in out of marriage relationships are these two tests:
1) If you wouldn't say or do it with your wife right next to you ,then it's wrong.
2) If she says or does the same exact thing with a man and it's OK with you, then it's OK otherwise if it would bother you then it's off limits for you too.
Simple. What's good for the goose...

Answer 6

It depends on who the woman is,( sister, Mother,childcare provider) Does he let you read the messages? If he does then there is nothing to worry about, I do have a few female friends that even if I were married I would still text them, but I would also let my wife read the messages so that it is all on the level.

Answer 7

No it is not ok. What if you were talking or even texting other guys, would he like it? I think not. Men have got to realize that there is no such thing as a friendship with another woman. I am sorry but it just doesn't happen. I don't care if they are in another town. Men are just sexual beings and it always leads right to it.

Answer 8

There is no reason why he should be spending all that time txting another woman as first and most obvious of all, he's married. Secondly, u don't approve of it. Third, it is time he is taking away from u to converse with someone else. I suggest that u be firm in expressing your disapproval of this and let him know clearly what u will and won't tolerate when it comes to this type of thing.

Answer 9

Go look on his phone when he's asleep or if he forgets his phone and look at the txt messages, and if they are talking about stuff that sets u off, then brake up with him, and if he asks you why, tell him you know about the txt talkin. And if they're nothin bad, keep checkin every month to make sure nothin does happen

Answer 10

no because he doesnt have no business doing that. but on the other hand if he writting bad stuff then he shouldnt be doing that. but if they are friends and he just writing good stuff. then it's oh ok. but if i was in your shoes i wouldnt stand for that. he marry for one and why does he need to text message another womens if he has you in front of him. so put your foot down and give him a piece of your mind girl. good luck