I love my husband very much and we have always have a great, un-complicated marriage. Lately I have been getting to know a girl from work better, purely as friends, but I am finding myself incredibly attracted to her. I dream about her, and find myself anxiously awaiting her calls. I have never been attracted to another woman before, and don't know how to process this. Is this really weird? Or is this common? Does it mean anything?
2006-10-01 15:27:07 · 37 answers · asked by Crystal B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your Bi
2006-10-01 15:29:14 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello I read your question and let me tell you, you mention that you are happily married ok some times you can be happy and still missing so many things , what I think is going on is that your husband is nice he love's you and everything is ok BUT you miss what you probably have with your girlfriend you can talk about anything, not that you can do the same with your husband is women thing you know, women we are more free to express our feelings and I guess this girl is very sensitive and I'm sure is nice and you guys have a great friend ship, you need to talk to her and be honest and tell her that you found her very attractive and don't want to lose the friend ship for something that you are feeling I don't think is nothing wrong to be attractive to some one, I don't think that you are gay just curios relax talk to her and your husband, why you don't spice the relation with you husband do something different wait for him in one of his shirts, call him at work and tell him that you have something very special so he need to get home early and then you will make love to him like never before, some way you will release all this feelings and hope you get better answered , and if you want send me email I love to talk more ok.
2006-10-01 16:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Leila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, It is not uncommon for a woman to really like another woman. You can be attracted to her style, her smile, her personality. But that does not mean that you want her physically. She sounds like someone who is a great friend, If you pursue her in a sexual manner, you could end up losing a great friend, and possibly a husband. I truly believe that not only do women have a man for a soumate, but can have a soul mate as a woman friend. I would truly think this over before doing anything you may regret later.
2006-10-01 15:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ginger M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crystal you are treading on very thin ice. If you love your husband very much, and your marriage is not complicated then why do you allow yourself to have feelings for someone other than your wonderful husband. If you are bored in your marriage it is your responsibility to "spice" things up. Allow your mind to think back to your "first love" which is your husband. Think about how you met him; your first date and all the ones that followed. Think about your first kiss, when you held hands, what you thought about him the first time you laid eyes on him...For some reason you have grown cold toward your first love. Search deep within and don't resist going back in time so that you will not fall into the trap that is laying before you.
Share your feelings with your husband. I am certain that he sees the change in you. Be honest and tell him how he can help the two of you rekindle your love affair. If you are a woman of faith pray and ask God to help you gain back what you have some how managed to loose; oneness with your husband. This is God's perfect will for your life---not for you to seek emotional oneness with another individual.
2006-10-01 16:18:25 · answer #4 · answered by roddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like there is a fantasy issue there which you haven't addressed. Hold off on the counseling but also hold off on meeting the other lady after work. They had a segment on the NBC morning show about ladies who admire other ladies. It doesn't necessarily mean anything sexual but more of a budy love type of thing.
I'll suggest this. Explore any kind of sexual fantasy you might have about this lady. Then sit back and try to look at it objectively and I'll bet that at some level sex with another woman doesn't really appeal to you all that much. There is nothing wrong with a fantasy but it has to be put into perspective like all other things we experience in life.
Good luck, keep an open mind about yourself, and try to keep it real.
2006-10-01 15:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by synchronicity915 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am not sure if your confusing her as being like a sister or a mother figure of giving you an outlet..someone that keeps your mind straight and wanting to learn more about a person.
It appears you have more going on, by you claiming your marriage is SO happy in-love and you might have other problems you never looked at.. it your marriage is soo strong why didn't you go to your husband about this issue or concern your having in wanting to have sex with a woman?? am sure he has an answer for you.
2006-10-01 15:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by M M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is weird and there are woman that get married have kids but are attracted to woman. So divorce; some do not.
She may represent something that at the time is lacking in your relationship with your husband. She probably listens attentively, smiles and genuinely acts happy to see you when you meet. This may be something that is missing in your marriage now. She may represent something you are longing for in a man or woman.
2006-10-01 15:32:07 · answer #7 · answered by En1gma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is entirely normal for a woman to be curious about another woman. If everyone would be honest they have probably had thoughts, too. I do think you should tell your husband. Talk to him in private and maybe he can help you with a fantasy role play or something. Don't take it outside of your marriage though.
2006-10-01 15:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by motheroftwo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very very common. We tend to sense in other women what we have lost in ourselves. Our husbands dont tell us about how we look, what a good wife we are. ... Connecting with another woman allows you to look at the positives about your self and feel confident about who you are. Following your instincts would be the same as following them with a man. If your marriage is open enough to explore then give it a whirl,from my experience every straight woman I have known, once they kiss a woman, and feel what they feel inside, they have many nightmares about making choices in their lives. Many choose to leave the man...they start to fall in live with women. Very few are lesbian and those who are not have years of back and forth trying to find themselves. Im sure this is not the advice you wanted to hear, but I remember the first girl at work. Good Luck
2006-10-01 15:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by Sky B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this is wierd, or common, becuase who is to say what is normal? I think that seems like a response to feeling like it is forbidden. Do you think that it could possibly mean that you are finding women the forbidden thing, and therefore feeling drawn to it. If you feel it nessacary, talk to a doctor or somebody you trust. I have a feeling it is only a phase, but it may not pass as soon as you like. Be patient, and remember that there are people that will talk to you, and want to help you.
Good Luck!
2006-10-01 15:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by ►♦◄ bow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well even if it is common it doesnt make it right. If you love youir husband and value the commitment that came with your marriage you will put these things out of your head and focus on them. If you are happy why do you need to be involved with someone else? Leave it alone and focus on your marriage
2006-10-01 15:34:03 · answer #11 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋