I thought marriage was about honesty, commitment, love, and understanding....was I wrong? I didnt realize that it was just sex and money....My husband says to me that all I am concerned about is sex and money...I dont really get where he is getting that from because I dont beg for sex if we do anything he always initiates it so where he got that from i dont know.. as far as the money thing goes if i was penniless as long as he was with me I wouldnt care. The thing is that about 4 years ago my husband started having an affair with a co-worker and I found out about it a year and a half ago. Now my husband swears that they are just friends and she still works with him. I have asked him to get rid of her because I dont like the fact that they are so close together all the time. I cant even email or message him because she knows all his passwords. He has really put himself in a jam because everything he has he has put her name on it like cell phone bank account his store stuff.
2006-10-01 15:24:02 · 25 answers · asked by mla_forver 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now she posts her and his picture all over the internet and puts on there that he is her "BEST" friend. But the pictures of them are hugging up all over each other..do you guys think she is trying to tell me something? I dont know I really want our marriage to work I do love him in which most people would think I am a fool but I do and have loved him for a very long time. I guess my question is how do I make him forget about her all the way and make him realize that it is hurting me too much for him to have any kind of contact with her. We have 2 beautiful kids and I dont want them to see me upset all the time anymore and it is all because of her......If she was to leave then life would be peaceful again......What can I do?????Please Help!!!!!
2006-10-01 15:30:40 · update #1
ok you guys dont understand why he put her on the bak account....He put her on the business bank account because he is not always at the store to recieve merchandise. She is not on the personal bank account that I know of. She is still around because he claims that he cant find anyone else to work...He swears that when he finds someone else to work that he is going to get rid of her but everytime he finds someone she complains about them until he gets rid of them not her....Her brother even works for him and she started complaining about her own brother. LiKe I said before I love him thats why I am still with him, he doesnt drink, he doesnt hit me, he doesnt force me to do anything I dont wanna do...He is all around a good guy the only thing is that he cheated on me.....I have been upset about it but I have forgiven him I told him that if I ever found out that he is continuing his affair with her or if he cheats again I am out.....
2006-10-01 15:42:15 · update #2
Wow. I see where your coming from and how your feeling and you want to know how to get rid of this woman so you can continue your marriage in peace. Let me break this down as simply as I can for you. Step outside of yourself and try to give yourself advice as if you were your own best friend. That will help you understand your own actions towards what other are saying and doing to you.
If I were your friend I would tell you to look at things for what they are. Put all the pieces together. Your being disrespected in your face. Your spouse seem to know your not gonna do a thing about it but gripe and yet still stick around. If you have evidence of an affair then you have plenty of reasons to leave. If you don't and your looking for answers to your doubts about his actions verses what he should be doing and so forth then you kinda know what foot to get started on there too. I'm sure this woman drives you crazy and I'm sure she loves it but stop playing into the game and putting up with this drama. Email me if you need someone to talk to. Hope this helps you some.
2006-10-01 15:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by kc_cuttie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is but most women take the honesty, commitment, love and understanding way to serious to the point that they forget that a good healthy sex life is very important. a man puts a high importance on sex but he also feels love just not the same way as awoman and in most cases a woman will give a man great sex in the beginning of a relationship and then think that she can back off later and this is not the case, so what does a man do to fill that need he gets a g/f and in most cases it does nothing for him except for the sex. so yes he was wrong for the affair but did u make him feel guilty anytime he wanted sex from you, if he wanted to do new things did u turn him down, and as far as the money are u open with him about the finances or do u spend all the money at wal-mart. i know these things cuz i had cheated several times on my ex and she was spending over 2,000 dollars per month at w/m.
2006-10-01 15:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by keithy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could understand some of it but get real there are people always needing to work and that are willing. He could train someone to take her place. Honey he has you so snowed ball about this that your actually believing what he says about her. I take it he is the manager or the owner of this store, then he needs to get rid of this woman he had an affair with. If not I would be gone. This is more than a work relationship. As long as he has you so gullible he will keep it up. Why would she have his passwords to email? Write him anyway who cares if she see's it.
2006-10-01 16:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Sister, it is time to draw the line, Here's a thought, Can you trust him and do you? If he has so little respect for you that he wont put some distance between himself and her then it may be time to cut your losses and move on. He needs to get her name off his accounts and change his passwords. There is no way in hell I would live in that situation or ask someone else to. Put your foot down and tell him it is your decision her or me. Stand firm if his actions dont match up with his words then get rid of him. It is not fair for you to play second best to anyone.
2006-10-01 15:31:14 · answer #4 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him change what you allowed!! You can't make him respect you as a wife!! You can't make him respect your home as a family!! You can think by getting this woman out of your life you will be happy and at peace!!
You have not been happy for a long time.. when she moves on someone else will come along.
You have to take a stand in your life are you that helpless that you will allow a man to keep hurting you and causing you to stay in a depress state! WHO are you? WHAT is your purpose? DO you like being treated like trash?? PICK yourself up and walk out of faith knowing you can have peace and joy without the AZZ HOLE YOU GOT! Take him to the bank and start your life over with peace and understanding until you want change your going to stay in this mess and your causing pain for the children because your allowing this .,, your saying its ok to be seconds in your marriage..
LADY pray for strength!! Pray to gain control of your life and walk out and ever look back.
2006-10-01 15:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other women here - you are completely being taken advantage of and taken for granted, and you need to get out of this situation. Your husband is obviously still cheating on you, and the extent to which this other woman has invaded your life shows the magnitude of his disrespect for you and your marriage.
I want to bring up a different point though. If you are staying in this marriage for the sake of your children, think of it this way: your marriage is the example of marriage that you are setting for your children. You are teaching them that this sort of situation is ok. If you don't want them to end up in a situation like this, then you need to do the right thing and set the right example by handling this situation maturely and getting out.
2006-10-01 15:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious and in a case like this I would hire a private detective to get evidence of the affair and then bail/divorce/whatever, just get out. Make the legal consequences beneficial to you. Your story begins to sound fake when you intro the other woman who is allegedly so involved that she is everywhere. Anyway, get some evidence that will stand up in court as you take him for all he has.
2006-10-01 15:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake UP! He doesn't want to get rid of her, and he doesn't have the balls to dump you. By keeping her around, he is passively telling you that he wants her more than you. If he really loved you, he would have gotten rid of her after the affair, or better yet, never cheated on you at all. Yes, you are a fool.
2006-10-01 15:46:23 · answer #8 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its so obvious he is still having an affair,and playing you fool. if he wanted to find someone else to work for him, he would have by now. and you should be able to email him any time you want, whether she has the password or not. which, by the way, she shouldnt have. do you think just because you found out about the affair, they stopped? no they just got better at hiding it.
2006-10-01 15:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by melinda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are being led down a garden path, You need to step back and examine what is going on, and if it is OK with you, then I guess you carry on being number 3 in his life. But from what you have written some thing stinks and , it needs to be dumped or cleaned up , sorry you are going to have to make and do the work
2006-10-01 15:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋