"Honey you don't have to work, I make enough money for the both of us." Do you work anyway, or take him up on his offer? Do you think it's smarter to work and save up your own money, just in case the relationship doesn't work out? I mean ideally, the relationship with the person you're with would last forever and you would live happily ever after, but realistically, it doesn't always work out that way. I've heard of women being left with no money, and no job skills....so what do you do? Work anyway, even if you would love to take him up on the offer to not work, or happily quit and enjoy taking care of hubby and home? How do you keep the trust in your relationship, while at the same time, maintaining your self preservation?
2006-10-01 15:22:45 · 15 answers · asked by LibraT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lol, I guess I should point out that i'm not in this situation. I was just wondering about financial dependence in relationships....well, the dependence of the woman.
2006-10-01 15:49:08 · update #1
If he says he makes enough money for the both of you, then surely he wouldn't mind if you took a little of that money and took a class here and there just to keep your mind occupied and keep current.
I am not working but I am staying busy by taking classes right now. If everything works out and we stay happily married, it can only help us -- even if I never use the classes to get a job, I will keep my mind occupied and have interests outside the home.
If I DO decide to get a job, I will be able to get one that pays enough to make it worth my while to work outside the home.
And if the poop hits the fan at some point and we split up, or if something should happen to him, I will be qualified to get a good, interesting job with all these up-to-date skills and make good money.
Always be able to support yourself, and always put a little something away to tide you over. It never hurts to keep your hand in at school or to have a little money set aside.
2006-10-01 15:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by sparticle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very important for both a women or man to keep up their job skills. This would be a great time for you to take him up on his advice and stop working for a while and go to college or a trade school to develop more skills in the event your relationship does not work out or you decide after being married a few years a second income could really enhance your live style. You could also do some part time work while you are going to school to help pay for your schooling. Its also not a bad idea to have an account set up somewhere you spouse know nothing about in the event you need to get away or some tragedy should occur with you family. Who knows you may go to school, get a degree, have kids and not want to go back to work. I am just saying, I would not quit cold turkey from working and stay home. If your working now it will be a drastic life style change as well. Hope this helps.
2006-10-01 16:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mark67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be a very smart idea to keep your skills up. if you don't need to work full time, then maybe take him up on his offer and find work 2 or 3 days a week. it still gives you an income which makes you feel like you're contributing and keeps your skills current and keeps you employable. if you don't have children to look after then staying at home all day every day would drive you crazy, i'm sure. if money wasn't an issue for my husband and i, i'd probably just work a couple of days a week just to keep my own identity. you don't want him to be resentful of having ALL the responsibility of taking care of the two of you and the home. it might seem like a great idea at the time, but when he realises the burden he might start feeling resentful. you need spending money and having to ask your hubby for it all the time would be humiliating. if you are able bodied, try and keep working. good luck!
2006-10-01 15:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have children I would say take him up on this offer but keep enough in savings that you could make it on your own for at least three months if something should happen. If there are no children then find a job that you love and just make sure the hours are such that allow you to have time for him. This way you can save and if/when you do have children you will have some savings.
2006-10-01 15:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, a woman MUST have resources to fall back on because you truly never know what could happen. Tell him that you are so touched by his offer.. that he is a very kind and thoughtful man for suggesting it. Then tell him that you would like to ease off working instead of simply quitting. Then cut back your hours if possible.. all the while, put your paychecks in savings. You may need it for the both of you at some point, but on the other hand, you may very well need it for yourself at some point. Either way, it is a very wise woman who has her own savings account. Good luck.. and congratulations on finding a man who IS considerate that way.
2006-10-01 15:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nya (NEE-uh) Naya (NYE-uh) Gia Itzel Ariel Ari (AWE-ree) Belle Ellie Emily Allie Jade Ruby Summer Winter Miley Nee Lee Pia Mia Ana Anne Leah Faith Hope Reese Rae Mae Dae Sonnet Cyan (SIGH-in) Renee Angela Mabell Perla Pearl Amy Kate Katie Lily Blair Ava Mary Marie Maria Nancy Brooke Emi Emma Lori Tori Millie Mindy Mandy Candy Cindy Jane Juliet Dory Sandy Macy Tracy Stacy Daisy Maisie Shay Kay Liset Janet Debbie Shana Cennett Payton Sophie Grace Nikki Lisa Esme Vanna Christie Bae Kendra Alia Sally Bree Bria Brie
2016-08-29 09:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the measures of a man is his ability to provide for his family. Your hubby was being reassuring.
Yes, you should continue to plan your own accomplishments. Yes, you should save your own money as it would be foolish not to even if your marriage is happy.
Yes, a whole generation of women remained home-makers and found themselves in a poverty trap.
I certainly don't think wanting to be self-sufficient is in conflict with trusting your husband. My husband agrees.
Some other things to consider..... You and your husband will know that you are with him because you want to be, not because you have little other option. It takes some of the pressure off your husband to be the sole provider. Make your money while you can, because you may have a few years where your burden is in raising the children.
2006-10-01 15:52:30 · answer #7 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say do what makes you happy, If you are a carer minded gal then work. if you are the kind of woman who likes to say home and look after things then do that.I stay home and have no problems with self preservation. the way we look at it is he may earn the money but we both earned it. I don't know about where you are from but where we live if the worst should ever happen the law sees it that way to. Can you say half of everything?
2006-10-01 15:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by blue_eyed_brat78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're not in a very good relationship to start with if you have so many doubts. I stayed at home while my kids were young because I would just be working to pay daycare, so why bother.
If you are so worried about it leave and keep working. If not, maybe work part time.
Good luck with your life
2006-10-01 15:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband tolod me the same thing & he does make enough for me to have the luxury of staying home,,, my situation was because I was pregnant & working & I really wanted to be at home with our son & be there when my daughter got out of school & my husband wanted me to do what made me happy & he said he would feel better knowing the kids were with me than at daycare ( not dissing daycare ) & we now have 4 children all in school except on ( he starts K next August ) & I have been home with them all but come next August when our son starts school Im going to college so I say do what your heart says is right . if you want to work then I say work but if you dont want to then maybe take some classes at college to further your degree ( or if your like me ) get a degree ... that way if something happens you have something to fall back on... & I dont feel one bit bad about staying home , but if I was working & loved my job then Id keep doing it & just explain to him that it has nothing to do with money its about your selfrespect... if he loves you ( Im sure he does ) he'll want you to do whatever makes you happy anyway... good luck
2006-10-01 15:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by AC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋