I don't want to hurt her feelings and we've been friends for almost 20 years. I just had a baby and she suddenly calls me 3x a day and wants to do things together when she knows I can't. I'm not even getting any sleep or steady meals, but and I can't seem to get through to her that I don't have the energy to be there for every little crisis she has right now. Seems like the more I distance and avoid, the more clingy and needy she gets. Is there a kind way to handle this w/out ruining a very good friendship?
2006-10-01 14:55:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
your life is definitely different now.and might stay that way until she has a baby of her own. I lost a lot of friends when i had my first baby. It's time to live your life and that may or may not include your friends. when she calls just politely tell her you cant talk and if she calls again then tell her the same thing until she gets the hint. this same thing happened to my friends of 20 yrs. also. people grow apart for awhile. Give it some time.
2006-10-01 15:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Take an hour of your day to go to lunch and talk. Just calmy explain that, although you love her, and love to spend time with her, that it's just not possible to be there as often right now. Let her know that you will call her whenever you have the opportunity, but that you just need some time to be a mommy right now. If you too are that close, i'm sure that she will understand. It might just be that she is jealous of your life, her maternal instincts may be kicking in and she has no where to go. Although this may not be the situation, there are many other possibilities.
By the way-Congratulations on your baby!
2006-10-01 15:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by short n sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to deal with selfish, self-centered, controlling friends is to demonstrate that you have urgent priorities for which you must own and wield full control of your time. tell her you'll get back to her as soon as you finish up doing things you have to do at home first. pray she'd understand. if you can be gentle but firm, she'll soon realize she no longer owns or controls your time like she used to.
knowing her as well as you have for the past 20 years would already have given you enough insight about her personality to find a way to talk and explain your changed circumstances in a tolerant, kindly and understanding way. if you must be "unavailable" when she calls, i suggest you use a credible and verifiable, but inarguable, excuse.
good luck!
2006-10-01 16:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by saberlingo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend just misses the closeness that you guys had. this can annoying situation can be turned around for good. why not include her by asking her to help out with the baby? maybe she can babysit while you sleep. it's exhausting after having a kid and you need time for yourself to rest. if its not possible to have her help then just tell her straight up that you are tired you're not getting the rest you need and as soon as you feel well rested you will get together with her.
2006-10-01 15:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to be honest in a nice way. Then maybe you could have her come over and help you with the baby, meals, let you get some sleep.... then she would feel needed.
2006-10-01 14:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by dannysgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your husband tell her and then play the role like u did not know that he did that and tell her that ur marrage is going through a difficult time and that u need 2 work on the important things first, if not just lash out on her and have your own breakdown and maybe she will stop being so selfish.
2006-10-01 14:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by q45dip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I even have 2 diverse approaches for you. #a million - commence turning him down extra for lunch, and basically circulate in case you sense like it. And tell him whilst he consists of your cube and parks which you're busy and could concentration on your paintings. #2 - commence up a lunch with him and tell him the way you sense in the process the lunch. I, for my area, might in all likelihood do #a million, and it would in all likelihood reason the relationship to at last taper to not something. in case you cost him and prefer to maintain the relationship with differences, #2 would desire to be the alternative. solid success.
2016-10-15 10:19:56 · answer #7 · answered by shea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u tell her shes being a little clingy and maybe she ll under stand and still be ur friend if u tell her u dont wont her to be mad and u wont to still be friends with her
2006-10-01 14:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by gurlz_lov_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋