My bf says the only way we can stay together is if I lighten up and let him look at porn however much he wants. So the question is.. how do I keep from getting mad and how do I lighten up?
2006-10-01 14:33:48 · 13 answers · asked by lilredthetease 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It’s not you that needs to lighten up, it’s him who needs to grow up.
2006-10-02 02:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an obvious threat that u feel when he watches these movies. Honestly, I never understood why some women feel this way. Don't think that he is momentarily replacing u w/ the women in the movie. It's all about fantasy, curiosity and sometimes boredom. Some people get exploratory after watching porno, which could be beneficial to u.
Try watching it w/ him. Find out what he gets out of it. U may discover that it isn't all that bad. I don't have a problem watching them w/ or without my b/f. As long as there isn't an obsession w/ it there shouldn't be a problem. My b/f doesn't seem to be into porno mag's (only movies), but if he were I wouldn't have a problem. U can't allow a porno flick to threaten ur relationship, it's really nothing, unless he is comparing u to what he sees or somehow is making u feel lesser than.
Remember there r also other men in these flicks, so there is something there for u to desire, too. Just try to be a little open minded, especially if u have never given it a try.
Good Luck.
And if u decide to watch, let me know what u think.
2006-10-01 21:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT lighten up. If he is looking at PORN - RUN - do not walk away from him. Porn is very addictive. I suggest you go to the website - just type in the search engine - against pornography and you will have TONS of websites you can look at that will tell you how addictive porn is. Unfortunately - with all of the wonderful things the Internet brings - it also has that filth on it. Men do not have a healthy view of sex from these websites. They are not happy unless they have a 20 year old, blonde with a to die for shape. Most of these shapes are man-made - or the women are literally killing themselves (bulimic) to keep that shape. Sex is a great thing - but porn is not natural or real. I had a fiance that I found was on the web "looking for women for casual sex" although we were engaged and planning our wedding. When I approached him - he said it was "just fun" and nothing had happened. You can bet that. The marriage didn't happen and he gave up the person who loved him above what anyone before had every loved him. DO NOT take this lightly. Please do some research. I feel so badly for you - I know I felt so betrayed and filled with rage. Move on. There are PLENTY of people who will appreciate what YOU have to offer and don't have to hide behind false impressions or expectations.
2006-10-01 21:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by learning the internet 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's a guy thing. However, like they say..... Look but don't touch. As long as you know he is with you whats the difference?? He's not cheating on you and he will never be with that person. If you look at it like that and your secure in your relationship, then you will have no problem on "lighten up"
2006-10-01 21:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out of your life,that will help you lighten up by almost 200 pounds or better.
2006-10-01 21:36:52 · answer #5 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
all guys tend to look at porn...its not that they don't find you sexually attractive or that they need more but sometime you aren't there and a he gets bored and needs some entertainment...look at it this way the girls are sluts that he's just looking at to entertain himself until he gets the real deal...i'm sure he loves you and would rather be with you then checking out his porn but when you arent there you gatta give him some space ...its just guy stuff. but make sure to tell him not talk to you about how he looks at porn..that he can look at it if he wants but you would rather not be told about it
2006-10-01 21:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always think that these girls he looks at in magazines and movies are just fantasy, and you're the real thing!
Every man fantazises, so maybe feel complimented that he chooses to tell you about it instead of going behind your back.
2006-10-01 21:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you get mad about it? Would you rather he be out with other women? Men are very visual, they like to look. What's it really hurting if all he is doing is looking?
2006-10-01 21:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find this unacceptable behavior tell him to whack off in private or he can keep the prono movies and you'll find a new BF
2006-10-01 21:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by Ben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep cool,calm and collected...
Friends
A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace.
And makes the whole world we live in
a better and happier place.
peace out.
nabila
2006-10-01 21:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by nabila 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋