My hubby and I have been married for 5 years we have 3 kids my hubby works 60 hrs a week and I'm a stay at home mom. We never seem to have time for sex. We used to have a wild sex life before our kids were born. Now we go weeks before we can hook up. what can I do to get it back?
2006-10-01 14:27:24 · 18 answers · asked by cc 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel your pain on this one. Gotta do the best you can.
Be creative, one time me and the wife gave our four kids a whole bag of halloween candy. We told them as long as we did not see them, they could eat all they wanted. We got to have so quality time and the kids were no where to be seen. Just a suggestion. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-01 14:32:14 · answer #1 · answered by dudeman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it necessary for your husband to work so many hours? When he does have time off, I'd arrange a "Date Night / Weekend". Arrange for a sitter for your kids, and plan a low key evening out. Since he works so many hours, he may not be in the mood to actually go anywhere that requires a lot of travel. Maybe there's a nice hotel or bed and breakfast in your area? You could arrange to spend the weekend there. Make sure it has amenities like a bath for two, a video / DVD / CD player, a hot tub, etc. Maybe you could have a masseuse come to your room and rub you both down. You could arrange for room service or have a catered dinner delivered to your room. It would be nice if the accommodation had entertainment (piano bar, jazz trio, etc.) that you could enjoy at your leisure.
I know the question had to do with having more sex, but this could also be an opportunity for the two of you to wind down and enjoy each others company and some adult conversation. These are just suggestions. I also have some ideas that are a little more cost effective. Email me if you'd like.
Finally, talk to your husband to see what he'd like to do. He may surprise you...maybe this has been on his mind too.
2006-10-01 21:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work evenings and my wife days, and we have toddlers - so I too know the numbing sting of enforced celibacy.
It must be why some people get into affairs, wife swapping, swinging, etc. Because there really is NO time sometimes - somebidy has to stay home to watch the kids, baby sitters are expensive and hard to come by, and little ones have a habit of bounding into your bedroom everytime you get on top of each other...
No worse way to kill the sex drive than to discover a tyke at the foot of the bed asking "what are you doing to mommy!?"
So my advice, wait 18 years...you can have sex...and sleep....later. In the meantime, catch as catch can.
2006-10-02 10:14:29 · answer #3 · answered by Glockmeister 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one for us too. We are so tired when we go to bed. Here is what my friends do (I have taken a survey). Put on a video and tell the kids you are going to shower (like on a weekend). Do it while they nap. Get a friend to watch them, and use that time for sex. You can maybe do a babysitting swap with someone you know -- instead of dinner and a movie go to dinner, and run home, then get the kids. If your parents or in laws are in the area let the kids stay with them. Even one night a month is better than none. Good luck.
2006-10-01 21:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the kids are in bed and are asleep. While waiting for them to go to sleep, the two of you can snuggle on the couch and watch TV together for awhile (don't worry about the housework; it can be done tomorrow). Then, once they are asleep, go to your room, shut and lock the door, and have fun! Don't worry if the kids hear you. It's natural for you to do this and natural for them to hear it. Believe me, I heard my parents and it never messed me up. I even caught them on the dining room floor a couple of times, and it never damaged me for life.
If doing this while they are in the next room(s) isn't working for you, then plan some alone time for the two of you. Get a sitter, go out to a movie or dinner or for a nice long walk, rent a motel room for a few hours, or whatever you can afford or want to do. Do this about once a month or more. It is worth it for the two of you to make alone time for each other. It will help the two of you reconnect after such crazy schedules, etc. If the two of you are unable to connect at all levels, then the relationship will pay the price, and that is not good for either of you or the kids.
2006-10-01 21:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Presumably your children are less than 5 years old. Our rules were in bed at 8:30. That leaves time. Trust me, its good for the kids and good for the parents.
You really should consider scheduling your lovemaking. Almost every other detail in a life with kids is scheduled. It would help to schedule what is also ultimately an important part of married life.
2006-10-01 22:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This issue as an important part of a healthy and continuing relationship. My suggestion is that the bed should be looked at as more than just for slumber. Hubby sounds pretty exhausted, and I'm sure you are too. Perhaps try jump starting his engine, try touching him, arousing him to get the ball rolling. Encourage him to reciprocate. If everyone does their part the spark should return. good luck
2006-10-01 21:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by dokron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I do at least a morning quickie or BJ a couple times a week before the kids get up. Otherwise, barter with a girlfriend (one who might be in the same boat) to watch kids on a friday or sat night. Then the next week you watch her kids. Do it up right....teddy, candles, the whole works. Let him know ahead of time so he can have a hard on all day at work. Let him sleep in the next day if he doesn't work.
2006-10-01 21:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make the time. My husband and I have 5 kids and we both work full time. The best time is early in the morning and or late at night. Note: 5 kids(combined family) They are with us 24-7. We catch each other when the kids aren't here. Never forget each other. Take care. You will be much happier if you both make time for each other.
2006-10-01 21:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a switch....A female wanting sex. I never notice this. I always have to beg, claw, bribe, and cry for it. I still never get it.
Women avoid me like the plaque or always have to assert they have a boyfriend when I don't even ask about a boyfriend.
2006-10-01 21:31:55 · answer #10 · answered by rasckal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋