Specifically at what age can you no longer LEGALLY punish a child with stripping down and standing in the corner? My oldest (15) is terrified of this and I think it keeps her drug-free. But as she gets older and closer to 18 I don't think she'll consider it a legitimate punishment and it won't be an effective threat anymore. I seriously doubt "taking away privileges" will make the same impression.
2006-10-01 14:19:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
lilgoofymunchkin, as far as I see it, "more humane" also means "hardly effective when it matters." I can't believe you think taking away TV/friends is an adequate response to theft!
2006-10-01 14:32:42 · update #1
privacy for a child is NEVER a right. its a privelage until you are 18. once she doubts that you will follow through, then do it! the day she says that you would never make her strip and stand in the corner, make her strip and stand in the corner! she will never doubt your ability&will to follow through again.
2006-10-01 18:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well it depends on how mature your kids are. If your child shows a lot of maturaty at a younger age, I would let them have some privacy once they start middle school. If your kids aren't so mature, I would let them have some privacy but not so much as a mature child. The whole stripping thing is a bit lame. Isn't a bit embarrasing for a 15 year old to strip and stand in a corner. That doesn't prove anything. Taking away privileges sounds like a bit humane. For example, if your child steals a candy bar, punish him/her by grounding him/her and make sure that there are no friends, phone, or tv. things like that
2006-10-01 21:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Roshni 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a mom of 4 sons. Two are teenagers and are still at home. Their "right to privacy" is non-existant. By that I mean I have the right and responsibility to ensure no drugs, pornography or illegal anything is in their rooms. We monitor their internet usage. BTW, there is no guaranteed "right to privacy" in our country's Constitution. It is not in the Bill of Rights.
HOWEVER, stripping a child (of ANY age) and making her stand naked in the corner does not fall under the category of "right to privacy". That is child abuse, both moral, physical and emotional. If her school counsellor found out about this, you probably would be losing parental rights and she would be in a foster home. Legally, it depends on what your state's laws allow for parental punishment. Morally? Don't do it.
Find another route. What about developing a deep enough friendship with her so she doesn't feel the need for getting your approval by disobedience and defiance?!
Theft is not a good enough excuse for treating a child like her body is yours. You need to consider what your future relationship with this daughter will be like and if she will want to remember being humiliated every time she sees you.
2006-10-01 21:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should never strip a child and make them stand naked in the corner! That is serious child abuse. It can cause serious psychological problems for your daughter. It can also cause serious problems in her sex life when she is married.
I also think you need counseling to find out why you would do such a cruel thing to your daughter! I am not one of those people who say that parents shouldn't spank their children or that kids should get whatever they want. I agree that you need to find consequences that are meaningful for your child, but making her stand naked in the corner? You might as well threaten to break her legs! That would be effective I'm sure, but at what cost?
2006-10-02 02:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Specifically at what age can you no longer LEGALLY punish a child"
When the child becomes an adult at the age of 18 or go through court system to "divorce" parents.
I do see parents "punishing" their children as adults as far as communication and "tough love". Ex: Cutting them off of financial and/or kicking them out of the nest for them to live in the real world.
"with stripping down and standing in the corner?"
I think that is a bit too "humiliating" when it comes to stripping down to sit in a corner. I could see a parent doing that for a young child (as I don't agree with it though), but a teenager needs a different approach. Stripping them down and standing in corner is not teaching your 15 year old the consequences of drugs or theft. She might be "terrified" of it, but if she is still doing such activities, then obviously this approach isn't making her "too" terrified to quit.
As I was a teen a few years ago, I believed the best way to get someone's attention is to educate them physically.
I just came back from Las Vegas for a late birthday trip. I went to the Human Body Museum display and I think it is a good idea for her to go if you are in that area. Lungs with lung cancer from liver failure due to cirrhosis by drinking (main cause). (My mom's co-worker, best friend, died of liver failure after she did years of drinking herself and it killed her. Very serious stuff).
Take her to the hospitals, county morg, AAA and drug related treatment clinics and visit people who live with their destroyed bodies after years of abuse.
Then when she is 18 and after you tried your best, it is up to her now to take the road she desires. If she chooses drugs, drinking and theft, then sadly you can only wash your hands of it as she is an adult who has to fall before she realizes it is best she gets back up.
2006-10-01 22:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're walking a fine line doing that to her at any age. If a child told me her parent stripped her naked and made her stand in a corner I would tell her to contact the authorities or just contact them myself. How can you expect her to learn discipline when you, her role model, have so little self-control that you resort to abuse and humiliation to teach her a lesson?
2006-10-02 03:37:35 · answer #6 · answered by razzb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way any child should have to strip in front of you. That is just a poor excuse for pedophilla. You own the house and at any time you can raid her room, but you can not undress her. I don't think she will stay in your house much longer - you are too controlling and paranoid.
2006-10-02 00:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually teens need privacy, the older they get the more privacy they need. If you want them to respect your privacy you must respect theirs. Also it's illegal to force them to strip. By the time she is a young adult 17+ I can see you will have alot of problems with her she may even move out.
2006-10-02 07:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean "striping down and standing in the corner" you mean like naked??? If so, that is demoralizing...
As long as they live in YOUR house, the privacy deal is off... If there is ever a search, and they find something...guess who's busted???Not your sweet-pea, that's for sure!!
2006-10-02 09:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as they're in my house... they don't get any privacy!!! I tell you what worked with me though - my dad wouldn't hesitate to call the cops on me if I was into drugs, or anything. would he bail me out? NEVER!!! He told me I'd have to call my grandfather if I ever got arrested (even if HE was the one who called!) - I looked up to my grandfather all my life & was terrified of him thinking less of me... try it with someone your daughter has respect for. Let her know that if she gets herself in trouble, while under your roof - she has to call THAT person & not you... you raised her right - now's her chance to prove it. Try to give her a few extra freedom's (extra 1/2 hour curfew on the weekends) for every few months she proves you can trust her. Chances are, you give her a mile, she'll only take 1/2. Good luck.
2006-10-01 21:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by pc_girl_2005 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋