if your parents divorced when you were young...?

Question

and you werent able to see one of them often,
did you or will you get to know them better when you get older?
or will you just keep going on with life without knowing them.

please tell what YOU did or would do.

Answer 1

My parents divorced when I was a year old and my father got custody. I didn't see my mother very often until I was in my early teens. Usually not more than three or four times a year, for a day or so.

I'm 42 years old now and have a very close relationship with my mother that we have worked hard to build since I became an adult. Lots of phone calls, lots of emails, lots of contact.

I also have a fifteen year old daughter who lives in California while I live in Texas. She visits me every summer, and during the rest of the year we talk three or four times a week on the phone and send emails and instant messages and read each other's LiveJournals to keep our relationship alive.

Answer 2

My parents were never married, and i never really spent any time with my father until around grade 4. By that time my mom had been married for a few years to someone else, and that man had basically become my dad, so my father didn't really have a place in my life except when he came to town to visit all of his family, we would have dinner, or see a movie. Every once in a while, he'll call to say he's coming here for a visit, sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't, or sometimes he calls me to tell me he was sorry he didn't get the chance to see me while he was down. He's only seen my son once in the 16 months since i had him, and doesn't even know i'm preggo with number 2, but if he doesn't put the effort in, and i don't even know where he is, how can i put the effort in? Sometimes that's just the way it is, you can always try to get in contact, and if your parent wants a relationship with you, you will know it, even just sending emails, or talking a few times a year is better than no relationship at all.

Answer 3

Perhaps I can give you a different perspective on your question.My wife and I divorced when our children were 11 and 20. The 20 year old was already out on her own and the 11 yr. old left the state and moved 9 hours away. I see the 16 yr old now two to three times a year, mostly in the summer and around holidays.Recently she has become a young lady at 16 and very active in band,kyacking,school,and of course her social life.I call her once or twice a week and we just shoot the breeze. I very civil to her mother and step father. I know she loves me and I love her. Your parents might be apart but they both love you. Soon enough she will go to college,graduate, and be on her own.Perhaps she will come to visit me. Good luck in your situation. Just remember your parents do what is in the best interest for you.

Answer 4

My parents divorced when I was a teenager, which was a truly crappy age to be when the family was being torn apart. Not only did I have to deal with acne, boys, school and figuring out who I was, I had to deal with what was going on at home.

A few years after my parents divorced, I didn't see my father nearly as much. It was a problem then, but now it's fine. When you are an adult, you have the choice of who you see and who you don't. As a kid or teenager, you often don't get a say.

I forgave my folks for their shortcomings as parents and instead built solid, lasting relationships with them as people - individually, which has made the biggest difference. If they had stayed together, I don't think our friendships would have blossomed as much. So, some good can come out of the situation.

Good luck.

Answer 5

My parents separated when I was six, and their divorce became final when I was 15. I lived with my mother and older sister primarily, and I got to see and visit with my father on a regular basis.

I got to really know my father long after their divorce was final, and both parents were living in the same house while I was still in high school. At the time, I was kind of hoping they'd get back together, but my father was seeing another woman at the time, and he spent more time with her than with us. I got to see the real person that he was, and I didn't like it, so I just let my mom know that she had done the right thing in letting him go. Apparently, he had cheated on her throughout the marriage, and she got tired of it and cut him loose.

That's what I did, hope it helps.

Answer 6

Yes my parents divorced when I was 10 and my mother moved us out of state so I didn't see or talk to my dad for about 6 years. Our relationship was always rocky, I wish I knew him better but it's different for different people. My sister is very close to our father and she didn't see or hear from him just like me. It's all you want to make out of it. If you want to get to know what ever parent better that's up to you. In my opinion some parents are afraid to make that step, for fear they will be rejected, and that does happen as well. What ever you choose to do good luck to you.

Answer 7

You will get to know them better as time goes on. What seems so permanent and even scary as a kid in this situation will actually begin to make more sense and calm down. As you grow up yourself, you will discover just how your parents are really human beings like everyone else. They have strong points and they have weaknesses. They made and will always make mistakes. Hopefully, you will learn the meaning of forgiveness along the way and your relationship to them will mellow and become closer.

Answer 8

well my parents got divorced when I was 9.I didn`t keep any contact with my father...I think I`ve spoken to him in the next 9 years,about 4 times...but I am not sure there were 4,maybe just three...I see him occasionally on street but we don`t even say hello to eachother...I don`t care about him,because he didn`t care about me when I really needed him...
so that means I just keep going on without any contact with him,but one day I will meet him face to face and tell him that I hate him,and that he is a looser.Just for revenge.
If he would have kept contact then it would be for sure that I would care about him,and search him whenever I`ve got time,but like that...no way.

Answer 9

hi, you know i really think that you try to keep in touch the best way that you can ,its hard when your parents go different ways , the ones that suffers the most are the kids ,don't worry as you get older things will fall into place, never give up,
good luck
Leena

Answer 10

my parents divorced when i was three grew up with my grandma, didn't know my mom until I was 15! We're best friends now....I got to see my dad quite a bit and we're still very close.........hang in there. I know it's rough sometimes, but things DO get better.