Being excluded to so many things in the world, left Karla feeling empty and deprived, so when she reached the age of 18, she started impusively acting on her feelings of deprivation by engaging in dangerous activities ,such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
2006-10-01 13:27:58 · 7 answers · asked by Survivor 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Thanks for the help, everyone!!!!
2006-10-01 13:35:22 · update #1
LOL, Spiggyofd : )
2006-10-02 13:44:49 · update #2
it's a run-on sentence, and i made word changes and put them in all caps. there was also a wrong placement of a comma between the words "world" and "left" in the first part of your sentence. this excerpt should say:
Being excluded FROM so many things in the world left Karla feeling empty and deprived. THEREFORE, when she reached the age of 18, she started impulsively acting on her feelings of deprivation by engaging in dangerous activities, such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
2006-10-01 13:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being excluded from so many things in the world left Karla feeling empty and deprived. When she reached the age of 18, she started impulsively acting on these feelings by engaging in dangerous activities such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
Is how I would make the sentence, though I would add " with any reasonably attractive man on two legs, at least one man in a wheelchair, and one time, two women." onto the end of that last sentence. But that is a content issue, not a grammar one. I think it would make the whole thing more interesting.
2006-10-02 15:49:45 · answer #2 · answered by spiggyofdeath 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being excluded from so many things in the world, left Karla feeling empty and deprived of things she had missed. When she reached the age of 18, she started acting impulsively on her feelings by engaging in dangerous activities. Such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
Corrected version also.
2006-10-01 20:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!! Try it this way:
Being excluded to so many things in the world left Karla feeling empty and deprived. When she reached the age of 18, she started impulsively acting on her feelings of deprivation by engaging in dangerous activities such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
2006-10-01 20:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by kp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Correct version:
Being excluded [from] xx t o xx so many things in the world [no comma] left Karla feeling empty and deprived. xx soxx When she reached the age of 18, she started impusively acting on her feelings of deprivation by engaging in dangerous activities, such as abusing alcohol and having unprotected sex.
2006-10-01 20:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by Jay 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There sure are. The first comma should be out. The second should be a period. The word "so" should be out and the second sentence should start with "When". The last three commas should be out (although the one after "18" might be considered acceptable).
2006-10-01 20:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
splices??
2006-10-01 20:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋