I am a recently divorced woman with three children. How in the world am I going to meet someone new? I have been married for 20 years...I'm clueless. Any help?
2006-10-01 13:27:08 · 55 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get used to living on your own for a while. Learn how to be independent, before you go looking for another guy.
You didn't say how old your kids are, but if they're young enough that they are still living with you, I'd say for their sake you shouldn't be dating anytime soon. I'm sure this divorce has been hard on them, and introducing a new man into the picture will probably be even more stressful for them.
Focus on you and your kids and on healing and on learning to be independent. You will feel much better if you do! And then, when you are self-sufficient and the kids are out of the house, you can get back on the dating scene. An independent woman is a hell of a lot more sexy to a man than an insecure, dependent, mom of three.
All the best to you!
2006-10-01 13:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by I ♥ AUG 6 · 5⤊ 4⤋
Heck lady, though I'm happily married, I have several buddies that would love to meet a good lady. Bar hogs and weirdos are plentiful, but a reasonable woman is ALWAYS eagerly welcomed everywhere. You know that life doesn't come with guarantees, but there is no reason for you to be alone for any longer than you wish. Certainly children are a factor. But, they aren't a major factor. Unless of course, they are newborns. I seriously doubt that you are breastfeeding. LOL Try to relax. Life always is scary when we need to start new things. But, life has already thrown most everything at us, by the time we've hit 40. Heck, my Dad married a year ago, to a lady he'd been dating for just a few months. Of course, at 82, he doesn't really have time for long engagements. I wasn't really sure if it would work out, cuz there is an age difference. Mom is 84. And, my buddy introduced my new Mom to Dad, so ANYTHING can happen. Good luck.
2006-10-01 14:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I'm a big believer in that everything happens for a reason. Sorry about your divorce though, must be hard on the children. You'll end up finding someone... Just give it time. I would probably be clueless too, if I were to start dating again. How the heck does someone flirt now a days? *laughs* Anyways, maybe you can join a divorce group at a local church ( i know ours offers one), join a gym, start on a new hobby..etc... If you feel more comfortable, then go to a bar (i just don't like men who go to bars, so I'd stick to the other suggestion above), you'll for sure find men there. How about mentioning to your girlfriends that you'd like to start meeting single men, and maybe they can have a dinner party for you guys...
Wish you and your kiddos the best!
2006-10-01 13:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by MD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel stupid. You're not alone in how you feel.
Well, you are recently divorced so your subconscious might be creating doubt around meeting people as a way to let you know you're not fully ready to get back out there and start dating.
Thankully (well, to a degree), we're in a world of technology and therefore online dating is easy to do as a way of practicing for when you start dating for real.
Take it slow, don't jump at the first relationship that comes your way and be confident within yourself.
Also, don't let having children be something that holds you back - whoever you date should be willing to accept your children as a part of yourself so don't feel that you should hide the fact that you've got children.
Take it slow, take your time, be yourself and I'm sure you'll find good things will come your way!
Good luck!
Cheers, Meg
2006-10-01 13:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by ausbabe29_megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Get to know yourself first. Learn about your personal likes and dislikes before dragging a man into your world.
2) Start by getting involved with larger groups of people. It is safer to meet new people when there are others around.
3) Once you feel ready to meet the right type of man, subscribe to a dating site. You will meet many others who are not scared away by a woman with children.
4) Remember that the dating sites will ask you all kinds of questions about your likes and dislikes. This is why you need to take some time from men to find what you really like.
2006-10-01 13:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some dating sites and programs let women join for free, to draw guys. You could try that for fun. Who knows? You could meet someone who's also trying just for fun.
I wouldn't worry so much about the 3 children keeping someone from liking you. If it were me, I'd mention them after I found out if I even wanted to date a guy, then tell him. If he's mature enough to be a good man, then he won't think much of it (except he might worry a little about his responsibility).
Do you have girlfriends? Go out with them. No? Go out and meet some people. Join a club of some kind or get envolved with community service?? You'll meet someone. Just remember how you were when you were dating. You probably never left the house without makeup, etc.
Good luck !!!!!
2006-10-01 13:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mama R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don"t worry luv, you are in the world's biggest club. We don't have any official meeting places yet, but I'm told that (being an older guy with grown kids) I should hang out in supermarkets. You know, I've got that from women all my life. Honestly. I've been to supermarkets now and then, and I gotta be missing something, No? And yeah guys, I know about the freezer aisle. And another thing -- There are way too many guys at supermarkets anyway. Stop sending us there, Please. I am, of course available, but I'm unable to travel until I get my Ferrari back from the shop. WE're out here, babe. Yours, Rat (I asked the same ques. last week. Really.)
2006-10-01 14:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not stupid. Just do things that you like to do and you will meet someone. If that means attending your children's extra-curricular activities, then do that. If that means getting a baby sitter one night a week so that you can go dancing, do that. Remember that there are others out there in your same situation...looking for someone new, but have been out of the game so long they don't remember how. The best way to find him is to do what you love while you are waiting.
2006-10-01 13:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by khender 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you jump from the frying pan and into the fire give yourself time to become self reliant. Its hard & it's lonely and sometimes you doubt yourself. I know I have been in the same place.
Give yourself and your kids breathing room before bringing a "new person" into their world. Kids are real touchy when it comes to mom's and dad's seeing new people. When you think you might be ready to start going out, talk to your kids. Let them know that you need some "Mom time" just like they need when they visit with their friends. Tell them you hope one day to meet someone you can be close to again but reassure them that you are not trying to replace their dad. (even if he was a jerk to you, not saying he was though) but that you want to one day meet someone to grow old with and when they are on their own you don't want to be alone.....that is what i did , It worked out well and they understood. Remember too that kids kinda have a 6th sense about people so listen and watch for their reactions...
Good luck!
You might try having a night out each month just for you. Go out with your friends and relax or just go somewhere you always have wanted to go. Let it your time. If you meet someone Great!
2006-10-01 13:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three children also and was single for 6 years when I met the man I married. We have been married for 5 years. I work in a party store and I just finally got up the courage to ask him out. I am so glad I did. Just hang in there so guy will sweep you off your feet just like mine did. We have 5 kids and twin grandbabies now I am very happy.
2006-10-01 13:42:18 · answer #10 · answered by Rennie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will advise you to get to know yourself to spent sometime with you before you start worried about meeting anyone
you have live for 20 years with someone I am sure during that time you have lost a little bit of yoursefl get it back then you will meet the right person
2006-10-01 15:07:10 · answer #11 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋