My sister killed herself because they put so much conditional love on her, and she was so desperate to escape, that she had no where else to go, because to cave into them would be to lose herself, and to be herself would be to lose their love forever.
So why are they walking around all happy, going on trips, and living their lives like nothing happened. Shouldn't they have changed their entire lives, started doing the exact opposite of what they'd done before? Instead it's the same BS towards me. They've learned nothing. Where's the shock, where's the life changing moment? Dad thinks he'll see her in heaven and is scared of coming to the house where she died. Mom is silent. Do they even notice she's gone?
2006-10-01 13:07:18 · 10 answers · asked by filosoof 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are all grieving in your own way, perhaps- I am in no position to read your parents minds to guage the depth of their grief. You are still incredibly angry, though, and you need help addressing that. I think you should approach your parents and tell them you would like to have family counseling somewhere where you can get this all out. As much as it may hurt, your parents may feel they need to return to as normal a lifestyle as they can for your sake- as well as their own sanity. I don't say this will solve all your problems, but at least getting it all out in the open air will do more to heal things than leaving your anger to fester and poison your life. If your parents won't go with you, then you go talk with somebody. That can be a councelor at school, the local health department, a priest, preacher or other religious leader, or a psychiatrist/psychologist who specializes in working with teenagers. There are also suicide support groups who can and will help you sort through all your feelings and make constructive decisions.
I'm very sorry your sister committed suicide, and even more so because you obviously care very much for her and are left hurting. I worked with suicides and their families for many years, and I know at this moment there are a lot of conflicting emotions in your head. The feelings are still very raw, and you are full of anger, which is a normal reaction. I won't bother to write all the platitudes your hear from others about the future, because it's important to help you live in the now. Find somebody you can talk with in person, to help you recover your life and heal the hurt.
2006-10-01 13:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by The mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your own peace of mind, you might examine your own expectations regarding your parents.
The cold facts are these: your parents owed you a birth, when you were born, this Karmic debt was completed. That they raised you is a benefit to you. That the way they live their lives, and the level of consciousness they possess is what it is... period.
Your sister will regret her decision for a long, long time... and her decision was hers "alone". It would be of benefit for you to grieve very intently for the loss of your sister, and then let her go so that you may get on with your own life.
Your sister's suicide was a mistake that she will never commit again, in any life because the punishment she will receive [is now receiving in fact, because she is stuck just beyond the physical realm, in a state where she can view what is happening on the physical plane, but cannot interface with it. She will remain in this place until her scheduled time of death arrives. At that time, she will go before the "judge" all go before at death, and she will evaluate the harm her suicide caused so many people with whom she was scheduled to interact Karmically. She will then go to a place where she will learn not to commit suicide. At some future time, she will incarnate again and have to make up all the Karmic debts outstanding plus a regular load that all of us bring in with us at birth.
Look at the concept of personal responsibility and take it to heart. No one can be blamed for actions you take, these are yours. You have your life to live, and to waste time thinking about your parents in terms of what you "think" they should have done is a waste. Get over it and move beyond it. Either focus on yourself, and do for yourself, or be drawn into the same pit your sister fell into.
Good luck, and peace
2006-10-01 13:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by docjp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. All I can say is that I am so very sorry for what has happened in your family. I hope you are getting some love and support in your own life. I am sure that your sister would want you to be ok so please take good care of yourself. Liberate yourself from the darkness and move toward the light of hope and healing.
2006-10-01 13:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone dealswith tragedies in thier own way.. Maybe it's just your perception that it was "their fault". Rules and standards are not conditonal love. They are tools to teaching about responsibility and adulthood. Since I am not in your home I have to assume you parents are dealing with their loss everyday in ways that may not be seen or acknowledged by you. Addtionally, you will learn as you age that life must continue even in the face of loss.
2006-10-01 13:18:08 · answer #4 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it's called avoidance, if you don't accept something horrible happened, then you don't have to think about it or deal with it. for some people that can last a very long time or a very short time, I'm certain your parents are hurting inside, but cut them some slack, every parent tries to do their best, and the fact is no parent is a really good parent.... if they're excelling at one aspect their failing in another
2006-10-01 13:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes parents just dont love their childern
just cos they are blood related does not mean parents and kids must love each other
it sux about your sister, but i guess whether they notice that she's gone or not is irrelevant - it sounds like they dont feel bad cos they never loved her to begin with
sometimes parents let us down - they only human, what else do you expect?
2006-10-01 13:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by punkrockprincess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most people take death different ways. Advise your parents to go to counseling and prayer. Do not be afraid to open up to them and show them the things that went wrong...
2006-10-01 13:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like a choice your sister made. Her adult choices aren't exactly their responsibility. I hear a guilt trip in your question.
2006-10-01 13:19:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im sayin they have problems no offence to your parents sorry about ur sister
2006-10-01 13:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by HOMI3 baD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg! I am soo sorry u should talk to them and asks them wats up?
2006-10-01 13:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lauren♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋