What was the best sarcastic answer you provided on Yahoo Answers?

Question

I'm grading eighth grade student essays, and I need a "pick me up." (Teachers will understand the need for the "pick me up.")

What was the best sarcastic answer you provided on Yahoo Answers? Providing the details to the original question may be necessary.

BTW: This is my first question asked.

Answer 1

he asked 'ladies, do you prefer a man to be a saint or a sinner?' I said 'saints, because they're mostly all dead'

I like your avatar, it looks like Michael Stipe,

Answer 2

This is a gooood question!!!!!! I think more people should be like You!!!!!!!

I have a think I seem to be sarcastic a lot but I dont allways mean the way it comes out..


I am sure I said somthing worse but I dont feel like thinking but you said you need a Pick up!!!



Joke:

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement
home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green
grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness
of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much
bigger and cheaper also, the demonstrated the size of two big
onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about."

From an email

Subject: Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly
seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more
like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to
be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at
home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get
30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the
difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its
own weight and always falls over on its right side when
intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did taxpayers
pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew? Who cares? How'd they
find out, did they ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on
the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you
imagine?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it
starves to death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is
attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least
pigs get a break there...)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still
want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, Geez) (That's almost as
bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people
like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is............. Lucky
Pigs...

Answer 3

I am sorry to say I have just told a teenager who asked "what should I do with my hair ?" and then spent 200 words describing it to visit her stylist and ask for a Brazilian.

I am a bad person.

I also told another one who asked "HELP! What should I wear to SKOOL !!"
School uniform

I generally dislike sarcastic answers,
But I guess there's something about this age group that just liberates my inner sarcasm.
I have spent ages explaining what seems to be a true and considered balanced answer to them and when they choose the answer they like it just seems they want the one that agrees with them, or a quick fix.
Honestly you have to admire anyone who has the skills to not get disenchanted by them,
M
P.S.
So how about the guy who asked why we can't transmit electricity wire free?( has he ever seen lightning?)

Answer 4

my question was:do you agree with my opinions.because i sure do?


the answer was:no way

Answer 5

Well this one person asked "how can i lose weight fast?" and I said "become anorexic!!" (well she asked....) lol

Answer 6

alot of times i answered.....duh......

Answer 7

"Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach."


Well, you did ask...