i have a daughter who is 22 and married to a guy in the army, they have a beautiful little girl who i love to death, and love to spend time with, the problem is my husband gets upset when i go visit them, even if its only for an hour or so. he gets mad if i babysit at our house, he even got mad when i took the day off to go to her birthday party. he is my daughters biological father, not a stepdad or anything like that. he accuses me of not really going to see my daughter and grandaughter, but having an affair,which im not. how can a person be jealous of there own child? i love having a good relationship with my daughter and tell him he cant keep me from them. if i dont do what he wants he will litteraly pout for weeks and threaten to leave me. i always ask him if he wants to go with me, so i dont leave him out. i just recently stopped letting him control every move i made, and maybe he cant deal with it. also, no matter what mean things he does to me dosent hurt anymore. help
2006-10-01
11:59:39
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28 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
U know what? Sometimes I have the same problem. I visit my mom and my husband seems to get jealous over my mom. I guess men never grow up. I am glad you set ur husband straight. I will never stop visiting my mom and my husband s negative attitude wont get me down. Your daughter needs a mom, like I do, I am also 22. Especially if she has a baby. I am sure that ur daughter or her family cant imagine life without you. I wish all familys did not have that bad apple. I NEED my mom. She gives me advice and counsel. She gives me love and her hugs are what I cant imagine me with out. So, remember, your husband has the door wide open to visit his family too! Is his choice to walk thru it or leave it. You,.... are doing what is best for u and ur family
2006-10-01 12:00:50
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answer #1
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answered by Photographer 6
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Maybe your life would be better if he did leave. He sounds very abusive and you have put up with it for so long that you are numb. My guess is that taking him to joint counseling would be like pulling teeth because he probably doesn't think he is the problem.
I don't know what to say apart from you need to seriously consider living apart from this man for awhile until he gets his act together. I would seek help from a neutral third party like a family-marriage counselor right away. There is no way anyone should make you give up your God-given right to your daughter and grandchild. Anyone who would ask you to do that is in serious need of help.
2006-10-01 12:06:39
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answer #2
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answered by ? 4
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You need to tell him that his reason for accusing is because he feels guilty himself of something he has done. Any man that is jealous of his own child has a problem, does he never want to see his grandchild. I would tell him to get over it and nothing is going to stop you from seeing your daughter or grandchild. A person that is that controlling is bad news, but I'm sure you already know that since you have lived with him all these years. Good luck to you.
2006-10-01 12:04:42
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answer #3
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answered by 51ain'tbad 3
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Well, not to be mean, but he is emotionally maladjusted. I'm sure that since you phrased the question this way (opening headline), you know deep down that either his mental-emotional health and/or your marriage aren't great and haven't been for a long time. This is not the only issue, or not out of the blue.
I hope you, or both of you, get help. And watch out for if he is emotionally or physically abusive to anyone. His reactions are beyond normal jealousy or possessiveness.
2006-10-01 12:03:54
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answer #4
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answered by catintrepid 5
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FROM A MANS POINT OF VIEW... if he threatens to leave i would just tell him go ahead and leave...im not here to treat you like a child....i would go see your grandchild and daughter anytime you want to let him know you are not his property.....seek counseling sounds like your husband needs it....WOMEN MAKE THE MISTAKE OF LISTENING TO AN IDIOT HUSBAND WHEN HE IS BEING AN IDIOT JUST TELL HIM WHERE YOU ARE GOING SAY BYE AND LEAVE......DONT KEEP ARGUEING WITH HIM...BE STRAIGHT FORWARD...also try to explore what is making him act this way...in a kind understanding manner...no woman windbag technique....i hope i have helped and good luck
2006-10-01 12:05:57
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answer #5
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answered by camden 3
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Write a letter to an imaginary friend about the history of your marriage up to how you are feeling today. Write about what your intentions are in the marriage and what your hopes are, as if you were writing to a very trusted friend.
Take that letter and give it to your husband. Tell him to write you back... as if HE were writing, not to you, but to a trusted friend.
Maybe with all this truth and communication, you will both become the trusted friends you are imagining.
2006-10-01 12:06:28
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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You with to long letting that control animal control on your life. You probably just woke up and want to take back some control over you life. HE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. If you can stand his selfishness and mean spirit then you can stay if not, these shoe are made for walking.
2006-10-01 12:04:14
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answer #7
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answered by Ellen J 2
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First, does he have any reason to mistrust you? Did he find out about your boyfriend?
If not, then he is being very immature, even for a man. The next time he threatens to leave you, tell him you will help him pack. See how quickly he changes his tune.
2006-10-01 12:16:11
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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He will be okay. Your daughter and grandchild need you. If her husband is going to Iraq (he's in the Army so if he hasent then he will) so she will need you as a comforter. Don't let dad stop that
2006-10-01 12:04:40
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answer #9
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answered by elephantman12004 2
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Your husband is jealous of the time you spend with your daughter and her family, that is more time taken away from him! This is pure selfishness on his part. He sounds like a big spoiled brat!
2006-10-01 12:04:23
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answer #10
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answered by Gerry 7
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