If you had a friend that you had been friends with for many years what would you do if?

Question

I have this friend I have had for a long time and she says she can't go to court and testify about what is best for my son. Because she works under my sons fathers mom. She doesn't want to loose her job she says. What would you do? Would you be upset? Because my kids really look up to her like an aunt. I mean I do understand but then a part of mine really doesn't b/c it's my child we're talking about and she's the one that knows about everything that happened with my sons father to testify besides me. What should I do? I haven't talked to her in a while b/c I'm so upset and don't understand. Please help.....

Answer 1

I think you are not being a friend by putting her in the middle of all this drama. None of which, from what you have said, is her problem.

Answer 2

This is a difficult situation your friend is in. It is important to realize that. However, I understand exactly why you might feel betrayed and hurt regarding your friend's choice. On one hand as a result of testifying your friend is facing either being fire (whether it is appropriate or not), the possibility of being harassed at work or at least the addition of strain put on the relationship between her and her boss. How badly does she need her job? Is she able to risk being fired? Also, how important is her testimony? Is this a child abuse trial? a custody battle? is she the only witness? Its important to weigh all the options and see if her testimony was indeed very important to the outcome. You wouldn't be a good friend to expect your friend to testify if she could not afford to lose her job and her testimony is not that important to the case for example...Also, was your friend apologetic and torn about her decision or matter of fact and casual about the impact it may have on you and your family? This may be more important than whether or not she testified or not because it indicates how much your friend considered your needs and how much she cares about your family. Your decision now is to ask yourself if you can forgive and understand her position or if you have serious doubts as to whether or not she is a true friend. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well not really sure how I would feel either. Like you part of me would understand how she feels and part of me would be angry at her for not being there when I needed her. However, it would be very very low of the fathers mother to get her to lose her job for being honest. Does this woman have that kind of pull that would cause someone to lose their job?? If so, then I think I would not want to work for that person or at least go above her head and let her boss know whats going on prior to this testimony. That way, if the old bag tries to manipulate her job, it would back fire in her face. I dont know, but if it were me, and I was faced with this decision, I would want to testify in the behalf of my friend and her son. I mean its not like you are asking her to lie, cheat or steal. Tough situation.. Good luck!!

Answer 4

Your friend has a conflict of interest here and she needs to protect her job. Don't be upset with her. She's doing the best she can under the circumstances and I imagine she feels badly that she can't testify for you. Why don't you give her a call; invite her out for coffee, and tell her you understand and you still want her for a friend. That should clear the air.

Answer 5

You're putting your friend in a very difficult position. Jobs are hard to come by, and a person has to take care of their family. Please don't test your friendship with her and expect her to put her job AND your friendship on the line. It's just to stressful for her to decide which one she wants more. And she shouldn't have to decide. If you don't know that she's your friend, you shouldn't have to make her choose sides. That's the quickest way to lose your friends. Let her know that you love her and will honor any decision she makes, and that your friendship with her is based on love, not on what she can do for you. Yes, it's upsetting to know that the one person who could possibly make things easier for you, doesn't want to put it all on the line, for the sake of your friendship. But, friendship isn't based on what our friends do for us. It's based on unconditional love. Call her and tell her that you've been under a lot of stress lately, and that you'll understand that she's got to think about her job before your friendship. Who knows? By your acceptance of her decision to not testify, things might change. She might be fired by then, or find a better paying job, which would release her from any obligation to her situation. Just make sure you have all the information that you can get, and see where it goes from there. I've seen things turn around at the last second. Hope all goes well for you and your son. <*)))><

Answer 6

This is a very sticky situation, but try to put yourself in your friend's position. Certainly, she wants things to work out well for you but her job is her means of survival so please be more understanding. Perhaps there is someone else who could testify in your behalf. If not, the truth is what you must count on and I wish you the best, but don't lose a good friend over this ordeal.

Answer 7

I think you need to understand where your friend is coming from. You are putting her in an awkward position. Maybe she just wants to remain neutral. There's no faulting her for that. Maybe you need to find someone else to testify for you. You can't force people to do things that they are uncomfortable doing. I don't think that it's any reason for you to cut her out of your life, especially not if, as you say, your kids look up to her. How will you explain to them why she's no longer a part of their lives?

Answer 8

Listen there may be a way out that fits both of you. Your attorney should have brought this up to you. She can submit a statement that is open to the courts view on who authored it. But it's closed to the person who it is about, note: it must be submitted with a reasonable excuse. The one you gave is in the realm of excusable. Contact your lawyer! He will know what i am talking about. One final bit of advice. The person that wins is almost always the one with the most expensive lawyer. Don't go bargain basement when your kids are at stake.

Answer 9

Try talking some sense into her. Find out deeper what it is that she's feeling and why she wont do it. I think it's more than just losing her job...Maybe she doesnt believe in the cause--It could be multiple things. You shouldn't be upset just yet. Give her some time, keep talking to her. She may soften up and let you know what's really bothering her and overcome it.

Answer 10

Respect her decision.

Just maybe she is planning on testifying AGAINST you!