8 years ago, my then best friend told me that she could not only not be in my wedding, but wouldn't even attend because I was planning on inviting her ex-boyfriend (whom I had known since grade school) to my wedding. Both she and the ex-boyfriend were married to other people and it wasn't an issue to him. She told me that he had caused her "undue emotional harm". Long story-short - I told her that she couldn't tell me who to be friends with and that if that was her decision, then so be it. I mourned the loss of our friendship like a death and cried for weeks. Last week, out of no where she sent me a birthday card. It was a "Hey what's up, hope you are well. Know it's been a long time and I'm sorry." I closed the door to this issue a long time ago, and like the loss of any person, focused on her positives and forgave. My question is, should I reply to her card (she put her return address) or let it stay buried?
2006-10-01 11:08:20 · 2 answers · asked by Mande 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Oh my gosh, there's nothing sweeter than getting together with old friends! My daddy died four years ago and I got a call from a friend I hadn't seen for nearly 40 years because I'd moved nearly 500 miles away. She opened her home and her heart to my daughter, granddaughter, and me before and after the funeral and we spent three wonderful nights visiting and catching up with each other's lives. It was like we'd never been away from each other. So, yes, yes, yes, call her, write her, e-mail her, plan to visit each other and you'll be so glad you did. You've both done a lot of growing up in the years you've been out of touch. Don't let one incident ruin something good.
2006-10-01 11:38:21 · answer #1 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you forgave her, right? If you truly did then you should be able to see past all of that and saying "hi" back and "thank you for the card" should be no big deal. You would probably do that if anyone else sent it to you.
As young people we do stupid things and sometimes when we grow up we realize how our actions have hurt ourselves or others.
And sometimes we do not fully understand what someone else had gone through or what makes them feel as they did then or now. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves not others. It sets us free from the hurt and anger. You do not have to be best friends with her again, but what would it hurt to be polite and say thanks for the card?
2006-10-01 11:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by M C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋