If you were me...when would you concider IVF?

Question

We have been trying since June '05. I found out that I have to take clomid in order for me to ovulate. The 1st time that I took it in February...I GOT PREGNANT. It ended in an early miscarriage in April (8weeks). So here I am a 2 months away from my first due date...and totally depressed. I have been on the meds to make me ovulate for going on my 4th month and nothing yet. Insurance will pay for IVF, but my Christian beliefs make me wonder whether I should. When would you go for the IVF... (putting in the religion factor or not)

THIS IS VERY HARD FOR ME...SO PLEASE DON'T BE RUDE.

Answer 1

there is an old saying,
"faith can move mountains, but it helps if you bring a shovel"

Only God can create or destroy life, but it can help you to maximize your chances by doing ivf. God gave you fertility issues but He also made you born at a time when there is a remedy for that.

The life that results, no matter whose material is used or what technique is used, is a life that God meant to place in your hands. i do not know the particulars of your beliefs, but it sounds like someone thinks this is not acceptable. do not assume it is God's will that you be childless until you have exhausted all of the options within reason. those people who are saying that it is wrong, i bet most of them do not have fertility issues.

Answer 2

I would consider IVF, but not yet. I would keep working with clomid if that's what your RE is comfortable with and suggesting. IVF is invasive, expensive (even with insurance), painful and incredibly emotional. With every step up on the ladder of infertility treatments, you invest so much more and the let down becomes more heartbreaking. I just wouldn't go from clomid to IVF, it just raises the stakes too high all at once.

I'm sorry about the baby you lost. These losses are absolutely devastating :( I hope you catch an egg really soon.

Answer 3

I am sort of in the same boat. We have been trying for a baby for 2 1/2 years and I am starting Clomid next month. After 4 cycles of the Clomid...we will go on to IUI(3 cycles), and then IVF. My insurance also pays but like you I also think about my Catholic beliefs. I guess you just need to do what your heart says.

Answer 4

I can sympathize with your loss. Our first baby, too, was miscarried early on.

As a fellow Christian woman, though, I'm glad you brought the angle of beliefs in, because I do believe that IVF is wrong. They fertilize several eggs, and then some of them either do not "take" or get discarded. Or if several do "take", either you're faced with a multiple birth, or they may offer you a "selective reduction" (fancy slick way to say, abort the "excess" ones :-(... ).

You know that if you conceived, you would admit that what is inside you is a tiny baby. IVF tries to solve the heartbreak of infertility, but that is at the expense of several babies who get made and then destroyed just so people can try to have their own bio child. I also think it can be subtly bad for the couple, either between themselves or in their spiritual life -- I see this in my best friend's marriage -- many attempts led to "just one" son by IVF. The mom is still so bitter that others have babies so easily and she was "denied" that she is emotionally abusive to her son and husband these 16 years later. No, that doesn't happen to everyone, but since you brought up the non-physical angle, I thought I'd share these ideas.

I am VERY sorry for the hurt and struggle you're going through. God still has a very good plan for your marriage and your life, you'll see.

Answer 5

I would wait a year of trying on clomid and truly try not to think about it try not to stress out relax go on a min vacation and do your thing. If it doesn't help them go back to your Dr and discuss any other options you may have. If you were truly religious you wouldn't have gotten on Clomid BC that is out of the "natural" you know what I mean so I truly don't think its a religious issue but if in your heart it is think if it like this GOD created these doctors and gave them the knowledge to discover IV so why wouldn't you be able to use it?? Best of luck

Answer 6

wait another year before you try the ivf. I lost a baby in may 05, and I have been ttc for over a year, and I have yet to start the meds route. If you were able to get pregnant once it can hapen again.

Answer 7

Alot of women miscarry their first child, most of the time it happens before they even suspect and just go on to have a late period. If I were you I would keep trying, chances are the next time around you will succeed in having a healthy baby. good luck

Answer 8

I would not consider IVF. I have had some problems myself and we considered adoption. We now have 2 children of our own, but still talk about adoption occasionally.

Answer 9

well, i am not experienced.. being 17, but i know that after u get pregnant and it somehow goes wrong and u lsoe the child (which i am very sorry for by the way), your cycle is veyr messed up. sometimes they dont get it until 6 months after it happends. i wouldn't rush into meds tho becase they can mess thigns up more.. unless u really hav a gut feelign that u shud... again.. im not experienced but ive been around that kinda stuff..... hope it helps and good luck.

Answer 10

If I was in your situation, I would go for it. Obviously, God provided us with an alternative for conceiving a child and that is enough for me to justify trying that route.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck in trying to have a child. I'll keep you in my thoughts.