Ok, I have been married for 8 years. We have three kids together (7,5,2). Hubby doesn't play with them very often, and when he gets home from work he yells at them to get things cleaned up. He has told our son that he will play with him when his room is cleaned and when he listens to him. Well his room has been cleaned and still doesn't play with him. He favors the girls a little bit more but still doesn't really do anything with them. And my side, he mentally abuse's me. Calls me names, and I am a stay at home mom, The house isn't always spotless like he wants but not in a dangerously situation for the kids. He says that since that I am home all day that the house needs to be spotless everyday. I am sick a lot and can't always keep the house clean. He says that I do nothing all day long. I watch three kids all day.
If there is something that I want, he will say, "whats in it for me"? He even has me get his *** dressed for me to be able to go do something...HELP!!
2006-10-01 10:31:39 · 8 answers · asked by Helpmeinid 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe if the house was clean he wouldn't be upset... If was the only one who worked and I came home to a messy house I would be pissed to.
2006-10-01 10:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your husband is under a great deal of stress and vents it out on you guys when hes home. Hes saying things he probably doesnt really mean to but does so without thinking about them first. If I had to guess, something or someone at work is applying alot of stress on him, and he doesnt know how to handle it other than yelling at you guys for even the smallest thing. Chances are he may not even realize it when he does it. Hes having trouble juggling married and family life and work and is feeling overwhelmed by all of it. This doesnt help you guys any though. As hard as this might be, you need to have a talk with him and tell him how you all feel and ask him what can be done to help him deal with his stress, even if its professional help before something happens. If nothing changes then you will have to decide whats best for you and the kids and do it. Time away or alone or a vacation may be an idea. Tell him whats up and that all of you are tired of it and are prepared to leave if he doesnt change. Good luck
2006-10-01 10:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this ones difficult you have three children who are untidy your running around after then trying to clean up and before you know it another room is upset by them..
you just cant win the washer always on sink full of pots etc you know i know cos ive been there and no one should judge you in respect of you been a at home mum and your looking after 3 kids and if your not getting the support off your husband well then there you go...being a mum is one job in its self .... i had to go out and work too when my kids were young.. yes your at home all day long but it isnt as though your sat on your backside all day kids are active and messy huh breakfast wash pots huh then dinner huh wash more pots huh teatime huh more pots and in between all that yer you have the house the shopping yer tell your hubby get a reality check let him stay home you get a job see how he likes it and to see if he can keep the house clean and spotless yer right dont think so!!! he wouldnt last a day!!!! and for the mental abuse well take a reign check wake him up or your off!!!! your a mother you need your space too!!! good luck
2006-10-01 10:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with your husband. If you aren't happy doing exactly what he says isn't going to make you happy. As for the children, allow them to play with each other and be happy while you take care of "mommy business". Ask yourself the question: " If I talk to my husband about these problems will he become more violent or will he respect the needs of me and the children more?" I the answer is yes, work with your husband on those types of things, you also have to look back into what kind of childhood he had. Maybe things like playing with the children weren't encouraged then. Maybe verbal abuse was tolerated by his mother so he thinks its okay to do it to you. The truth is it isn't okay. Being a stay at home mother does put you at a disadvantage thought . Some deep thought is going to be required for this touchy matter. Good Luck
2006-10-01 10:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by answerer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not so naiive as to attempt to give you advice on such a complicated and personal ques.. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for spouse abuse, period! That I can tell you. You've been with this guy for a long time, so either this has been acceptable to you for a long time or this stuff is new. I would seek help from a pro. You don't have to endure that pain anymore. A man is not a man if he abuses others. He is a COWARD. --Rat
2006-10-01 10:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is for sure you can't teach an old dog new tricks if you are unhappy and it sounds like he is then I think you should think about divorce in the long run it will probaly be better, your kids don't need to live like that and neither do you
2006-10-01 10:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by Misstee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should get a divorce, and get cusody of the kids.
2006-10-01 10:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by Cassandra D 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Leave him he is not worth it
2006-10-01 11:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by lxlafave2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋