Why is it that some people are singled out and bullied wherever they go?

Question

What personality traits does this typically involve, or is it an issue of self esteem?

Answer 1

There are many reasons why a bully chooses a particular person to bully, but your question specifically asked what would make a person the constant target of bulling. Anyone can be a victim of bulling and most people at some point in their life (even bullies) will be subject to bulling. However, there are certain factors that can predispose someone to be the target to bulling more than others. Here are a few:

POOR SELF-ESTEEM: Self-doubting, unsure of right to pursue legitimate wants and needs.

LACKS CONFIDENCE: Unable to face conflicts directly and resolve them effectively, runs from bully.

POOR BOUNDARIES: Unskilled in setting limits on personal or emotional space, is often used by others.

OVER INTELLECTUALIZATION: Makes excuses for other’s hurtful behavior by trying to understand it.

EMOTIONALLY DEPENDANT: Needs the approval of others, fears independence and autonomy.

MEEK: Unable to command justice for self, does not speak up, lacks an inner voice.

SUBMISSIVE: Wants to be the “Good Girl/Boy”, has difficulty expressing healthy anger.

VICTIMIZATION: Seeks out victimizing situations to surrender all responsibility for their shooty life.

SHAME: Harbors unconscious shame from childhood abuse and secretly seeks out situations or relationships (sadism) to fulfill a subconscious desire to be punished to relieve the 'badness'.

No matter how you look or what you wear--your body language, vocal tonalities, physiology (breathing etc.) and prior behavior—creates a colorful picture of your self-image. The bully (and the world) observes this and responds accordingly.

Answer 2

It involves both personality traits and self esteem. About 90% of what we communicate about our self is non-verbal. The way you walk into a room, your eye contact, the way you carry yourself ( head up with straight posture or slouching and looking to the floor) are important clues about a person that strangers pick up on. If you think about people as animals (we basically are), than you realize how important it is for people to be able to judge the intentions, disposition and potential threat a new person poses. If you have great self esteem, you will present yourself as sure, calm, approachable and confident. People naturally gravitate to this type of person (it's roots being in the animal kingdom analogy). If you lack self esteem than you present a less desirable package. Unfortunately, this makes you vulnerable to the jerks out there who see a bulls eye when you walk in. People are always putting others down. This allows them to believe that they are better than their victims. If you want respect from others than you must exude respect for yourself in a visual manner.

Answer 3

I think you are right - it is a self esteem issue. People that get bullied tend to be , "drumming to the tune of a different drummer" and also don't have the self esteem to be confident with their uniqueness. Others that are different with a healthly self esteem, can make it seem cool to do anything.

Answer 4

very interesting question and answers. variety of types of bullying and victims. some is random, some is jealousy. some is about being different in some way but generally a victim just happens to be there. if it wasn't them it would be someone else. the bully doesn't stop if the victim is removed. they switch target. the outsider of the pack is the most obvious vicitm but sometimes a bully will pick a leader to challenge the leadership.

Answer 5

They would have to be a child, for adults can have lawsuits brought against the bullies if this occurs in adult years.

Self Esteem on the bullies part.... they usually feel less of a person so they have to be mean to someone to make themselves feel bigger and stronger ! Sad huh ?

Answer 6

Usually they are quiet, and then when they speak, it's something that culls ridicule in bullies (people who target quiet ones.) That's one thing I've noticed. Some people have crumby lives like they're poor too, but they're nice, and they get picked on for that instead of being appreciated as one of the nice ones. Self esteem could probably help.... You gave something to think about....

Answer 7

they need to start and stand up for there selves.a bully is only a bully as long as you let them. i think the answer to your question is in you answer though too, lack of self esteem.

Answer 8

A lot of it is down to scent and some people give off an odour which makes others feel uneasy around them.Other than that it's a pecking order thing.

Answer 9

Because they let it happen. Bullies can spot this a mile off. Anybody bothers you, unduly, hit them hard with the first thing you can lay your hand on, and be prepared to do it again!

Answer 10

IT HAS TO DO WITH BOTH ACTUALLY.USUALLY IN ELEMENTARY THROUGH MIDDLE SCHOOL YOUR MOSTLY BULLIED IF YOU HAVE CERTAIN TRAITS AS IN,EGOISMAN AND PRIGISHNESS HIGH SCHOOL AND ETC,IT IS USUALLY YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. THIS IS ALL MY OPINION THOUGH, I MAY BE WRONG.