I'm El Greco's wife. He was quite honest with me about our sex problems. He let me read his question and your answers. to be honest coz of my hormones,coz of the baby i don't feel like making love. It's not that i don't love him or stoped wanting him sexualy. i just cannot do it at this time. I don't want to loose him and i completly understand his problem and frustration. So since he has been honest and it's just sex with no other feelings, what should i do?
2006-10-01 09:07:10 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can't believe this is even a serious question. If he respects u and your marriage vows, u both will find a way to work around the problem without him cheating on u and frankly, it sounds like he's just making up excuses to sleep with other women.
U said u don't want to lose him but what happens if he ends up liking one of them enough to leave u? What happens if he keeps wanting to do it? Think before u allow him to do something like that. What kind of a marriage do u have exactly?
2006-10-01 09:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a choice?? I didn't read what came before this, but the only choice you have is what you can do to make sure he doesn't WANT to. To say "let him" better just be a poor choice of words.
That said, I'd point out to him.. that this is temporary. If it's doctors orders, then mark the calendar. If not then tell him that you'll mark it to revisit the issue. And to not DISRESPECT you in the mean time. The most you have right now is words. The next step will be actions... a separation and possibly divorce. Remind him that he DOES have will power and he's not a sniffing animal.
I DID do swinging(with him among others)... and now I REALLY hate sex... felt like a piece of meat.. w/o the feelings. I don't think you want the piece of meat left overs from your husband. If I'm misunderstanding... and you'd allow him to cheat... then... I don't recommend it... a taste of freedom might make the full course over and over much easier. best of luck.
2006-10-01 16:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Valeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know who el Greco is..but if I am reading this right..are you asking me if you should allow your husband to cheat because you do not feel like having sex with him? the answer is NO! If he out of his mind? Are you? What are you both thinking? Listen, you just had a baby and he should understand this. So if he wants to have some release, that is what he has 2 hands for! I said NO to cheating!
2006-10-01 16:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Ness 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too did not read what came before this, but just a bit of what marriage is: It is Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust. And it is also an exclusive relationship. If you are stupid enough to be willing to share your husband with another women, you are letting yourself in for a big surprise.... Trust disappears, and with that the others go as well. Sex is a bonding thing between a couple, not only for each others' pleasure, but as an intimate, romantic expression of " I care for you, I care for us..." Apart from opening yourself up to a list of STD's that could absolutely change your life, and the lives of any future children, you are opening up your marriage to disintegration, even if you do not recognize it at this point in your marriage. All women go thru a period after their children are born of being absolutely uninterested in sex.... it is nature's way of being sure you don't get pregnant again too soon, making the care of the child you have now more difficult -- you evolved to be this way -- it is perfectly normal. And a mature man, a mature father, understands this, and puts his sex drive on hold, knowing that his wife cares for him and loves him but is in no position to participate sexually -- that's the way it was meant to be. Other husbands deal with it all the time. What's the matter with yours? (I'll even answer it --- he's one selfish s-o-b.)
I think any husband is a total and complete uneducated and unfeeling jerk to not understand this, and is so selfish as to put his wife and child below his own urges to screw anything, even at the risk of what his wife will go thru. You have just had a child. He should be less of an animal, and more of a husband.....
So, should you let him cheat on you??? What IS he thinking??? Certainly not about you and his new family, that is for goddamn sure. And what ARE you thinking to even think this would help your marriage.
??????? He has a hand, tell him to use it. He has before, he can again....
2006-10-01 16:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just what kind of marriage do you think you are in? If you let him cheat, you have just made a farce of your marriage. You seem to be doing this out of self pity, low self esteem and guilt. THIS IS NOT A GOOD REASON. I also fear that El Greco doesn't love you as he should, as it seems you are depressed, and he's taking advantage of the situation. He's taking advantage of your post-partum depression! Don't let him do that! That, or you may want to reconsider why you're even married to him. It sucks because you've already got a child. Hopefully El Greco has the guts to handle his responsibility to the marriage.
2006-10-01 17:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Jay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is definitely NOT the answer! He has to understand you and what you're going through also; it's not a one way street, he's a part of this marriage too and needs to quit being selfish to his own sexual needs! He married you for better or worse and you need to remind him of this and let him know that you are just going through one of those times of the worst and he still needs to stick by your side! Another problem of letting him cheat is not knowing who he's going to cheat with; now days cheating isn't a good idea with AIDS and other STD's! Who knows what he'll bring home to you and your child! Good luck and DON"T allow your man to cheat! That's so not right!
2006-10-01 17:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really have to ask a question like this? If you really want to keep your marriage together, you have to make a decision.Get past the hormone issue and enjoy a happy and healthy sex life with your husband.or, just go to a lawyer and sign the divorce papers tomorrow so your husband can have a happy and healthy sex life......I don't understand, when people love each other they make sacrifices for each other....What ever happened to 2 becoming as 1 in a marriage. When did it become I just look out for whats best for me and forget about my spouse's needs....Time to re=evaluate your wedding vows.
2006-10-01 16:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Frank D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! being married is a choice that you make. Loving you spouse is something that you choose every day. He needs to be understanding. If you let him cheat how many other ways are you going to let him miss treat you? He needs to make the choice that you are worth the wait!
2006-10-01 16:47:33 · answer #8 · answered by td3nnis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he does cheat, make sure he knows it can go both ways when the baby gets a little older and you need it and he can't give it - if that's the way he wants to play. If he was any kind of man, he would be patient and loving and caring, but what kind of fantasy world am I living in?
2006-10-01 16:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Damn, I dont beleive some of the stupid questions and stupid answers people post. Please tell me this is one of those questions posted as a joke.
No, it isnt right for you or him to cheat, and the reasons dont matter. But you should be smart enough to know that he has a right to not only want but to have sex with his wife, as you do with him. What, is your mouth or hand broke?
I dont care if you arent in the mood. I dont feel in the mood for many things, but still do them.
2006-10-01 16:23:43 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋