my hubby doesnt like to spend some time with me but as soon as his friends call he runs away.what should i do i had explained him my problem he know i feel bad but still he is happy with his friends .if i ask him to take me out he give me some excuses.although i have tried every thing ,then also if any one has agood and serious suggestion please answer?
2006-10-01 07:57:24 · 24 answers · asked by simplewife20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Boy can I relate to you, I lived through the same crap for 8 years and sorry to tell you it probably WILL NOT CHANGE. The question I have for you though is; was it like this before you got married??? Because if it was then you kinda had a warning, you should of maybe thought twice about such a major commitment with someone that doesn't want to spend time with you. But that's neither here nor there and you have to live with what you have NOW. Have you tried doing you own thing, hanging with your girlfriends, people from work etc.?? I think if you start doing things and stop asking him to hang out, he will say "hey, why doesn't she ask me to hang out w/ her anymore", or " I miss her, I want to see her", Maybe he just needs to miss you (they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it's true),Show him you can live your own life, have your own friends or even just be comfortable by yourself (catch a movie, read a book in the park on a nice day). Hopefully, he will change his tune over time...or I am sorry to say but maybe it's a little deeper than what you think, like an affair he's having and he's using his friends as an excuse (don't rule it out affairs can happen to ANYONE/ANYWHERE/ANY MARRIAGE), If all else fails, try marriage counseling...BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!
2006-10-01 08:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem isn't with your hubby, it's with the way you feel about the distance between the two of you. Ask yourself: Has he always been this way, or is this a relatively new thing? If the latter, try to figure out what's changed over the time that you've noticed the change in him. Have you changed? Has anything changed for him? If you can't come up with anything, Perhaps you should unplug the phone some night, make a nice dinner, and bring up the subject. Rather than accusing him, just tell him how you feel. Just say something like -- I've noticed myself feeling really lonely - I miss you, it seems so long since I've felt connected to you, and I really want that back. Have you felt that? and go from there. If he still is silent, he probably doesn't want to do the marriage counselling thing, but you could throw it out there as a suggestion. Then, perhaps, creating a life for yourself outside your marriage, your home - develop your interests, don't just focus on him -- perhaps that will help. You may want to talk with a therapist to help you from there, if you still are unhappy. good luck!
2006-10-01 08:21:12 · answer #2 · answered by amuse4you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have learned is the more you nag---the less attention the matter will be given. Refocus your attention---take some time for yourself. Call up some girlfriends that you trust (single or married) and make plans to get together at least once a month. In other words give yourself something to look forward to when your husband has made plans to be with his friends.
Do you have children? Make plans to do something fun with the kids. Look on the internet for activities that are low in cost that still produce fun. For example, the children's museum, the petting zoo, a twilight movie--"Monster House" "Cars", etc, or even plan a sleepover with your children's friends---rent a movie, order pizza, and have microwave popcorn. Get those creative juices flowing....
Don't sit back and let life pass you by. Your husband will take notice. He will see how much fun you are now having with life, and he'll want to spend more time with you and your family.
2006-10-01 08:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by roddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs a wake up call. Immediately file for a divorce, without letting him know that you are going to, and go for everything you can get. The time it takes for the divorce to take effect is more than enough time for him to realize what is more important to him. If he changes, then you don't need to go through with the divorce, but if he doesn't change, at least you will be well on your way to ending a dead marriage. For do you really want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship like that, which will probably only get worse as time goes on?
2006-10-01 08:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are young. It was fun to pursue you and then he got you now it is like you are his and sitting waiting at home.
There is a difference though...does he do anything with you or is it just that he takes off with his friends and doesn't do anything with you?
Do you have kids?
SOiunds young and not ready for the adult commitment of "settling down". You don't have to sit around and stare at each other and never see your friendes but a marriage should be a freindship where you enjoy doing things together. You both need your own space but primarily, you get married to sepnd your life and all those moments you wished you were married before you got married that you went through alone.
You can't force anyone to change. Maybe make a commitment to each other for certain things or nights.
2006-10-01 08:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 03:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even my wife would have posted the same question, if she was ever aware of internet. First reason is man gets bored exploring same wife again and again. Second reason could be that there is no communion of thinking between both of you which is very important. Either you are made for each other or you simply forget the matter. I am afraid that there is no solution to this problem? I can understand that you love (possess) him very much? But you cannot do things by force?
2006-10-01 09:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by HITS_ON_TARGET 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did that to me too. He would go out and leave me at home all the time. Finally I went out without him, and we ended up at the same place. He wouldn't even talk to me at the bar, & treated me like the plague. I went home & cut up all his clothes. Everything. He knew I was mad. He was mad of course about it, and yes it was childish of me. I was sick of his treatment though. He got over what I did, and then he stopped doing that crap to me. However, we are now in divorce, cause all that behavior from him, lead to a bunch of other problems. Now he is going out to the bars all the time. You can't change people, and I know that it hurts cause I have been there. Do something back to him, that would annoy or irrate him. When he says something say to him well, you have been lacking on your commitment to spending time with me or including me. If you change, I will stop doing what I have been. It will won't work over night, but in a month or two it will.
2006-10-01 08:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by Evie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop making him choose between you and his friends.Your already losing that battle.If you can't handle him going out with his friends,leave.Don't you have any friends to hang out with?If not go find some.It's obvious the two of have more problems than this,and if the two of you can't or won't try to work them out your going to be back soon asking if you should leave or not.I'm not trying to be nasty but get a life cause you need one too.
2006-10-01 08:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey u need to look into ur behaviour.Something is serious for ur man to run away from u.Work on ur relationship.Have kids ,they bind the guys at home.Indulge him in the kitchen.shopping and pretend to learn about him and his profession.Marriage is to know ur partner on daily basis.Can u ever relax at work..then how can u stop working in ur marriage..its after all an institution and u r playing the key role.So better role up ur sleeves and get him bak to u..use all the marketing strategies to entice him bak into u.
Good luck
2006-10-01 09:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋