My soon to be ex-husband, came over the other day at 2:30 in the morning claiming he wanted to see our children for visitation. They are 4 and 1. I know he was looking to have sex with me and using the kids as an excuse. I told him the children were not here, they were at my mom's cause I had to be up for work in 2 an 1/2 hours. I would not let him in the house, and he accused me of having a new man over at the house. I told him that no one was there, and he said I was hiding something. He pushed the door open on me & searched the house. Finding nothing. I told him to leave & he said he would be back Sun. He never came for our boys on Sun. & said he was busy when I called to ask him were he was, and when is picking up the boys. He uses to boys to get to me, but forgets about things when it really comes to our sons. The boys don't seem important to him, unless it is convient for him to see me. Other wise he doesn't act like a father should. What should I do?
2006-10-01 07:32:23 · 6 answers · asked by Evie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buy good strong locks, and an intercom. Talk to him without opening the door. If he shows up in the middle of the night, or without notification, call the cops. Also, report his actions to the court, and get the court to set up a visitation schedule. You needn't put up with his silliness. I also recommend you buy a gun. I suggest a 20ga shotgun. When he knows you are serious, he'll quit playing games. Or, shoot his butt when he breaks in.
2006-10-01 08:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he calls on the phone, hang up. When he comes over unannounced, do not open the door. If he persists, advise him that he has no right to simply pop in on you, OR the children. Advise him that you will call the authorities if he doesnt leave. If none of this works, get a restraining order. Be sure to record all these visits that he's made without notice. An X does not have any rights of unannounced visitation with you, OR the children.
2006-10-01 14:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the very same thing to me when we were getting a divorce. Just be happy that your children do not understand why daddy does not come around to pick them up. Tell him he has to call before picking them up, and if he does not call well then it is his lost time with his children. However, let me advise you do not get involved with anyone until the divorce is final be good and just hang with your babies. Am telling you this because after a year of separation my husband and I got back together! I came back into the marriage guilt free that I did not commit adultery so he never had anything on me we have been marriage for 26 years now. It has not been easy this marriage has taken its toll on me so I have more advise for you; make sure you divorce him only because you are sure that it will never work out, and never go back with him for the sake of the children I did that and am paying the price for it right now. I am in a situation right now and I am contemplating divorce myself I read your story and I now wish I got out of this marriage when my boys were babies it would have saved me a whole lot of grief!
2006-10-01 15:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to clearly set out the times and dates of the visitation and let him know he is not welcomed to come to the house at any time other than for visitation. Tell him you will call the police if he tries a stunt like that again.
If you don't do this.... then you are an enabler. Deep down you like the attention but love to complain about it. The answer is simple.... are you gonna follow thru with it?
2006-10-01 14:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're already doing the right thing, that's why I like your title, "my soon to be ex-husband". Well, don't forget child support and spousal support. Be a strong woman, get him where it hurts, his pocket.
2006-10-01 14:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to put together some guidlines and stand by them
2006-10-01 14:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by mz.thang 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋