I went over to his house, and told him that I love him. He is gay, ( I am a woman) but we've been friends for so long and I couldn't stop my heart from loving him. He was nice about it, but said he was gay. I wrote him an e-mail to further explain my feelings... a few days after I wrote the e-mail I told him that it would be nice to get a response back to my e-mail with something, anything. He said he needs time. Why does he need time?
I am expecting the obvious "I'm flattered that's nice and all.. but it won't work.. we can still be friends though." It should be that easy, and I won't be any more hurt from that. I just wanted him to know that he is loved. Why does he need time.
2006-10-01 06:41:15 · 18 answers · asked by love earth 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am not pressuring him. I told him to take all the time he needs.
2006-10-01 06:45:56 · update #1
It was one e-mail... with words that I just couldn't get out at the time. It had to be done. There was one, and only one e-mail.
2006-10-01 06:47:10 · update #2
In the e-mail I said that I will now only see him as the friend he is and no more, and that I now know where the lines are. I told him that I always want to have him in my life as a friend. I have already accepted the fact that my efforts have been pointless.. but I needed the answer to "what if."
2006-10-01 06:49:15 · update #3
I never asked for guidence on how to get over this. I asked why he needs time.
2006-10-01 07:30:23 · update #4
You are so sweet. You remind me of an old Egyptian song which says: "Love without hope is the highest meaning of humanity". I understand that you wanted to come out with it. I do respect it a lot. I know it takes a lot of courage. You should be proud of yourself. It sounds that he considers you one of his true friends. Now, his silence means one of two things: either he is too scared that you might leave him if he rejected your love and doesn't know what to do, or he is not that gay after all and your proposition started him thinking. That would be a very tough situation for him. Being gay is a life-long decision and if he feels now that this is not what he wants for sure, he muct be feeling very confused. My advice to you is to give him time, but no matter what don't lose him. He sounds that he doesn't want to lose you, and that's a friend to keep. Good luck!
2006-10-01 06:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by Princess of Egypt 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being pushy, no matter if the words you select are friendly.
When my kid was little, we watched a show called "Big Comfy Couch", about a clown (Loonette) and her dolly (Molly). There was a song presented occasionally, for children who naturally have to be told things repeatedly before they respond appropriately. It was called "No Means No".
Your friend's gayness is his 'no'. Keep loving him, back off, and give the fella' some space. You're gonna' strain what there is of the friendship if you continue to make efforts to have him satisfy your needs. He's your friend. That's as good as it gets, work on the quality of the friendship (which includes all space from you so he can be who he is w/o your romantic distractions). Good luck.
2006-10-01 13:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may need time to get over the fact that his friend has fallen for him. Plus also he may need time to find a nice way of saying "im flattered... it wont work...ect" as you are his friend and he might think that if hes that blunt he may loose your friendship.
Just give him the time he's asked for and im sure you two will be back to as you were in no time.
2006-10-01 13:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by Qooki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is afraid that your feelings are going to change your friendship with him. Sometimes friendships can be lost because one person may have feelings the other one dosent and the one without feelings may feel overwhelmed and quite honestly, he may be afraid. Afraid of hurting you because he dosent feel the same way. Afraid because he dosent want to lose your friendship. Afraid because he is afraid this is going to change things between the two of you. Just give him some space and tell him that you care about him too deeply to lose your friendship that you dont want things to change and give it time...
2006-10-01 13:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by baby_luvx3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs time because he values your friendship, but he is GAY!
He has already tried to state, "I'm flattered that's nice and all.. but it won't work.. we can still be friends though" but you are not accepting this with your continued emails.
Leave him be-- He is GAY!
2006-10-01 13:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by Teacher Man 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's been telling the world he's one thing and you are offering something different--he needs time because you are a tempting offer. The conflict isn't something that he is going to decide in a moment, especially if he's had it in his head for years that what you are offering is unthinkable--well he is thinking.
2006-10-01 16:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can love a friend deeply. nothing wrong with that. if you want to include intimacy with your love it wont work. make it clear to him exactly what you want. make sure YOU know what you want. he wants to have his own relationships and maybe feels you will interfere or be overly judgemental. give him the space and time he needs. you need to talk to him IN PERSON. not email. make sure YOU know your intentions before you talk to him and then tell him how you feel.
2006-10-01 13:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by deathwishpussy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get a grip woman he is not going to give up men for you, you are a great gal, I am sure, but you can not convert us. Find you a nice straight guy and move on.
2006-10-01 14:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girl he's man, give him some time. STOP emailing him and dont call him, i promise he will get ahold of you. Right now you are coming off as pushy, which pushes him away, you leave him alone and he will come to you.
2006-10-01 14:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by april_lujano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, know where you are coming from...please consider that you have thrown a monkey wrench into the equation...he doesn't know what to do at this point. He wonders should he cut it off to make your life easier in time, or continue as is.
2006-10-01 13:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋