overweight teen daughter...what to do???

Question

My daughter is 13 and she weighs 144 pounds. She is about 5'5 so she isn't obese by any means but she wears bigger clothes than I do. I was overweight as a child and I don't want her to go through that..she is in softball and cheerleading so she gets excercise. I need to know about safe dieting for a teenager or anything that can help.

Answer 1

wow...the helpful answers definitely outweight the rude ones here, but that one comment was totally uncalled for!!! First off, overweight or not, love her, and don't make it a huge issue. My daughter is 13 and probably 5'6", and last time she got on the scale, it read 190!!! YIKES!!! Love her to pieces, but it isn't healthy. However, me being at a whopping 5'2" and 104.5, well, she doesn't take well to any criticism no matter how it's worded. I'm at a loss too, but...we have lots of exercise equipment she can use. The trick is getting her on it for even a brief period of time. I try to limit snacks a lot, and seldom do we keep pop in the house. One thing I want to do and haven't yet, is on a night such as a night we have spaghetti, I want us all to dish out what we want. Then , after everyone, including myself has done that, and before we eat, I want to measure out what is considered one serving. I'm not going to measure her portions, but really...how many of us actually eat 2 servings in one on a meal such as this?? I wondered if just showing her, even if it's to just show her...I wonder if that would help? My kiddo play volleyball and softball. Used to play soccer, but her weight is around her middle, so it is slowing her down. I love her how she is, just want her to be healthy. She'll never be a little as I am no matter what, as she is bigger boned, but she does need to lose some weight. I'm waiting for that magic moment when she realizes boys are looking at her and she decides to slim down. And if it never happens...I love her the same!! Hang in there, and ignore the rude comments like the one up above mine. People like that should be smacked silly!! LOL!!! Oh, and don't worry about the sizes...my kiddo is about a 14 sometimes, usually like a 16. I am in a 3. She calls me skinny dip, I call her chunky dunk. It's our little thing that no one else can do, and she knows she is loved. I don't care about the weight, as long as she isn't having health problems. Good luck to you!!!!

Answer 2

Never tell your daughter that you are putting her on a diet. It will make her feel fat and worthless. Instead, cook healthy foods for the whole family. Make her healthy meals and try to get her to exercise for 1 1/2 hours everyday, as recommended by the FDA. Visit mypyramid.com for an idea of what she should be eating. An easy fix is to limit calories. Keep her at 1600-1800 per day. Never have her eat less than 1200 calories a day, as she could die. Put her into a dance class or do exercise tapes with her. Show her how you stay healthy and share your good habits. Go vegatarian one or two days a week and eat nothing but veggies, and some fruits, on those days. Limit soda as well.

Answer 3

As long as she is active and eats right there is not much that you can do. Some people are naturally larger and you also said that you were large at her age. Also athletic people have a larger build due to muscle and at 5' 5" at 13 she is tall for her age (I am 25 and 5'6"). If she is healthy then don't worry about it. If she is overeating and sedentary that is a problem and she should get active and eat right. You should focus on her good qualities and help her build her self esteem. At 14 I was hospitalized for bulimia and diet pill abuse and I was only around 5' 3" and 120 lbs. She is also in cheerleading, as was I, so she is probably around alot of thin girls and may feel insecure about her body as compared to theirs. There is so much stress on teens to be thin and "perfect" so just be thankful that she does not have an eating disorder and if she is a good kid that is all that matters.
DO NOT listen to these DOORKNOBS who say put her on a diet. You will do a number on her self esteem and make it worse. Just make sure she eats healthy at home, compliment her, and thank GOD she is a good kid.

Answer 4

If you force her to diet she will probably cheat like eat cookies and stuff whenever she can. But if she decides to diet on her own she will be more likely to succeed. 144 is a little overweight but by no means bad.... if she is all fat then.... we have a problem. However.... muscle is a big part of it. Some problems with diets especially if your daughter is still growing is that you will not see a difference for about a month. If workout is included She will build muscle and look the same size, and possibly even gain weight... I tried dieting and ended up heavier cuz i excersize about half of the day, and never loose weight. But i can hold squats for double what i used to and run a with decreased time, and not be very tired at all. Bike riding is wonderful aerobic exsersize. Yoga is incredibly fun but sort of dangerous if you are not already flexible. I reccomend pilates. She can do it with her freinds and go to clases and its really fun if you are with freinds. :)
If she eats a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and salad for dinner everyday she will loose weight.... but you have to vary the ingredients in the salad and type of cereal.
Dont force a diet on her... trust me it will not build a good relationship between you guys. I remember my mother constantly telling me i was fat and trying to get me to eat low-fat foods... i wasnt even very overweight, and i was on a diet already cuz I WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR MYSELF. i stuck with it and it worked. :) I hated her for it and was so self consious the entire time.
sorry i am somewhat a biast example, but i feel strongly so....

Answer 5

It sounds to me like your daughter is a healthy weight. I know you are worried about her since you were overweight as a child, but make sure that you are being objective. Telling a normal weighted person that they need to "lose a few pounds" can be devastating and actually cause the revers to happen. She could eat out of defiance or depression.
So what if she wears bigger clothes than you do. You should not compare her weight to yours. She does not need pressure from her mother. I'm sure she gets enough of that from society.

Answer 6

i am 14, and i weigh 175lbs. I know what u mean. I look at my self in the mirror and i don't like my self. So i suggest she go to the doctor and get a check up so the doctor can tell her what she can do. i wish her the best of luck. i hope she does not have to go through the same thing as us. i especially feel bad when i see the skinny girls. they can go to the mall and find a nice shirt or size 4 pants while i have to go to the womens department. good luck!

Answer 7

I am 13, 5"4 and 160. She is perfectly fine. The size clothes she wears has nothing to do with being fat. I sound quiet heavy. But I am ALL muscle and no fat. Because of my muscle I wear size 10 pants and medium shirts. Your daughter is fine

Answer 8

Leave her the hell alone. My parents were constantly on me about my weight and it had the opposite effect - I gained and gained. Get rid of junk in the house - tell her you're trying to eat healthier, and then serve healthy meals. Also, take walks after dinner and ask her to join you. Don't mention her weight. Don't mention a diet. Just be a good role model and for Jesus' sake don't tell her she's FAT.

Answer 9

I'm twelve, about 5'5, 5'6, maybe, and I weigh around 130-140 pounds. Don't make her go on a diet. Just make healthier food and whatnot. The thing is, I never feel fat until I'm around family. My sister and mom are constantly talking about dieting, (might I add, stupid dieting that never works because it's just plain stupid) my brother is tall and constantly eating and he stays skinny, and my mom and sister constantly talk about weight and whatnot. But when I'm with my friends, I don't feel fat or big, I just feel like myself. I'm me, and my friends accept me for that.
Constantly talking about it and bringing it up and making her feel fat will just bring her down. Trust me. I know. It really makes you feel bad. More bad than you should feel. It brings me down all the time. It seems like my mom just thinks I should be skinny like all the stupid stars on TV, while my friends don't give a ****.

Answer 10

weight doesn't mean much, that weight could be muscle. is she worried about her weight as well? if so you both should go to the doctor and find out how much of that weight is fat. then the doctor can inform both of you how to live a healthier lifestyle, not only with a better diet, but also a better excercise plan.