Would you respond this way if you were in a similar situation?

Question

Up until recently, I was practically pouncing at the idea of having my own little bundle of joy to take care of and love. It was my dream ever since I was a child, to have my own child, someone to baby and take care of and teach, to watch them grow up and -- hopefully -- blossom into a wonderful representation of the human race.

But then I remembered a whole bunch of things.

I have anemia (low red blood cell, high white blood cell variety), asthma, hypoglycemia, and scoliosis. Also, heart problems, cancer, and teeth problems (Mom had denchers when she turn 20) run in my family.

Also, I remember as child feeling -- and still feel -- as if everything that went wrong was my problem, that I could do nothing right, and that I'd never be good enough to do much anything...

... I also remember that my mother and father (well, err, he was supposed to be my father but actually isn't... stupid genetics) broke up because I was going to be born.

I don't want ANY child to have to go -

- through that...

... so now I'm reconsidering having kids at all.

Would you, too?

Answer 1

It comes down to this: Have all these defects made your life so horrible that you would prefer never to have born? Have all the joys and pleasures in your life been insignificant in comparison? If so, then fine. If not, maybe you should reconsider.

Answer 2

I've been pondering the same thing for a while. The idea of passing bad traits to our children make for a very emotional decision. If you are in a relationship, then talk it over with your significant other. If not then perhaps begin a relationship were children will not be part of the plan. Either way, this is a hard thing to come to terms with and I sympathize with you.

I myself have bad vision and don't want to pass that gene to children. It's not fair in my opinion for them to have to grow up and live with that. I lean heavily on the side of no children.

But also, nobody is perfect. Depending on your religious views, either God will help guide your decision or hopefully strong genetics will develop over weak ones. Your biological father breaking up with your mom, that was tragic. So if you have kids, pick a better role model for a father.

Whichever you decide, don't allow these limitations to ruin your life. Find something that will make you happy. The world is full of things. Good Luck!

Answer 3

If you look into nearly everyones background, you'll find most have some major health problem in their past.I myself have a few chronic conditions that require daily medication,and I'm being threatened with allergy shots.(I hate needles,yet have extensive tattooing.Go fig.)My son has a severe chronic condition that occasionally lands him in the hospital for a while when his condition flares up.It all comes down to how you deal with the probs.All of the above that you've mentioned can be dealt with.The trick is to realize that you can manage these conditions and don't dwell on it once you're better.Try thinking "Okay, I have this, I have to do this and take these meds along with these ones.OK, moving on!" And if you have a child who gets sick, remember that every child gets sick.Some get more sick than others, but all of them get sick.The emotional stuff is actually going to be easier to cope with for you, I think.If you decide to have a child, the emotional area can be solved by some therapy and parenting classes.I learned from my biological mother what NOT to do, so I don't do it.It's not easy, but I have one happy little boy because of my breaking the cycle.And frankly, he's my very reason for living.I always did have one heck of a maternal instinct.

Answer 4

Nobody's perfect. If you want to be a good mom, take classes, read books get info from legitimate experts (not us) and basically do what you need to do to be confident. Most importantly get your financial affairs in order. Sorry but at least 50% of good parenting is money. Your health problems are minor genetically speaking. If you adopted, most likely the kid would not be any better off genetically and you would have no heads up on what might go wrong.

Answer 5

Well, my mom and dad both had had risks of cancer, bi-polar disease, heart disease, and a genetic foot and joint problem, and they had four kids. I don't think that I really have any more problems than the average person. If you believe that you also have good qualities (fast metabolism, intelligence, ability to be liked by many people, good self esteem, good looks etc.), then have kids. It seems like only people with rare genetic disorders or diseases should not have kids.

Answer 6

it's a diffecult question. there are many guys, who can't cope with a child, which suffers from many deseases.
they just can't bear it, to see their child suffer, and to know, that they can't do anything about it.

it's not determined that your kids will have the deseases. and if they do, you'll be the best parent, because you love them.

Answer 7

Before you get pregnant... make sure your health is up to it, if you had or have cancer be prepared for the answer to be ..not advised to get pregnant