last night we watched a movie and drank some beer i went to the refrigator to get a beer and he had stole all but 4 of my beers i confronted him and he got so mad he came over to me and spit in my face around 8 to 10 times i had spit all over my face and that wasnt enough he went to refrigator and got an ice cold beer and opened it and poured it all over me and the couch i was siiting on i know i should have had him locked up but i chose not to as he is the only income we have i have had him locked up in the past about 4 times what can i do to get out with no money and no where to go i feel so lost and need someone to help me no counseling will help because he thinks hes always right and wouldnt go i need someone to tell me how to leave when you have no one and no money im 56 yrs old and hes 48 im up for anyone to help me please
2006-10-01 05:11:26 · 14 answers · asked by sassygal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Disengage and don't let yourself get into situations with him. Do your own thing - be gone from his realm. You know the worst will happen so don't be in the situation. Go to friends house - go into another room to watch TV. Do everything on your own until a solution comes clear.
2006-10-01 05:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Applecore782 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He stole four of YOUR beers? YOUR beers? Did I hear you right? He brings the income home and you say YOUR beer? Then you said that as bad as he is, you won't leave him because he is your money bags. So let's get this right. He works and with this money you buy beer and call it YOURS. I can see the argument over that. Caused by YOU. Then you tell us you don't love him and that all he is to you is your money bags. So how do you think he feels? Well, you know. He doesn't like it. Sure he acts that dislike out inappropriately, but you had better take a serious look at YOURSELF. Your attitudes are unbecoming and have caused a lot of this hurt to yourself. Okay, so we are here. What to do. The first thing you do is work on losing weight (if that is the situation), start exercising (if you've become a couch potato), decide on reasonable goals. Can you find a part time job, a full time job. Are you reliable and dependable or is your history one of quitting jobs? No matter, people can change, but the point is you must change now. Yes you, not your husband. That's what you can do to change this relationship, and in the process you are making yourself better; you are building up yourself. You have no control over your husband, but many a changed wife (from bitter to sweet) has been known to bring amazing changes in the husband. There are no guarantees. Life itself is a gamble. Go for it.
2006-10-01 05:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been talking to a doctor today, she was telling me that people these days are entitled to all kind of pressure and stress, and most of all negative impacts that might cause them to lose their inner vision and be less realistic when they address life. Struggles are something we cannot run from it will always be there to test the capability of our strength.
Through the whole bad experience one can face, there is always something called ‘lesson’. When a child put his hand on fire he will burn it, and so he will have pain, and then he will never do this intentionally again.
Life problems are stages in our life, each stage might have ray of light or flame of fire, and every time we encounter one we learn something good or bad.
So try to face the problems, think and then make a decision, Don't let these problems eat you, it is not about the beer, not the spit, it is about you living this life with no respect, if you feel that you can handle it then continue, but if you feel that ' enough is enough' then take the proper action that can guarantee you a stable emotional state.
2006-10-01 05:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by Yami M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a shelter or something. Im sure you can find some help...a place where they help abused women. Money is no excuse to stay with someone. If there is no money how do yall have it to buy beer?? Leave him....hes totally abousing you,,and maybe someday he might kill you. Call a shelter and talk to someone...they can get you help...and maybe if you cant find a job,,they will help you in that reguard as well. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO LEAVE THIS LOSER.PIECE OF **** SO CALLED MAN YOU ARE WITH.
2006-10-01 05:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the fact that you understand you are in a destructive marriage is the first step. There are many safe houses women can go to for shelter. You don't have to put out any money at all. I am familiar with this type of situation, pleases don't put yourself through this. There is not any reason for anyone to put up with abuse. Have respect for yourself. Perhaps you can sit down with your husband when you or he is not drinking, and discuss the way you are feeling. If he does not want to listen, well, you have to look out for yourself. There is a big, beautiful world out there, try to catch some of the happiness whether it is with or without him, the choice is yours! Best of luck.
2006-10-01 05:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a terrible way to treat a woman, especially the woman you are supposed to love and cherish. There are places you can go to get help. Find your local womens shelter. They will take care of you and help you get back on your feet. They will also help you with the legal aspects. There are legal aid offices in every state that are free or only charge based on your ability to pay. Don't stay in that house...next time he may really hurt you. If you have children, you owe it to them to get them to a safe place. It's better to be from a broken home than to live in one. When you leave, don't tell him when or where you are going and get a restraining order against him immediately. There is help out there. Good luck to you and Please go to the womens shelter...it's better than being treated the way you're being treated. No one deserves that. I wish you well.
2006-10-01 05:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's all kinds of battered women's shelters. I think it's bad that you got yourself in this position, where you're so dependent on him. NOT GOOD. Really there's two choices. The shelter in which they may or may not feel your case is good enough to take you in. You'll have to get a job though. The second is to get a job now and save money and leave.
2006-10-01 05:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you let him get away with spitting on you he will always treat you like a dog, get out. Throw him out, pack his stuff up and get the locks changed when he isn't in.. You are worth a whole lot better. You could get a job and a new life, a new man, What are ya doin girl. I feel sorry for you. Put an end to this pig, kick him out....
2006-10-01 05:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get out. Its not healthy what youre going thru. That is definate abuse. You can make it on government help. Id say divorce is the best thing you can do, its not worth putting yourself thru it, just for HIS income.
Quit making excuses and leave. The government has places for ppl like you and can get you set up. Call your social security office, they can get you going in the right direction.
2006-10-01 05:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing we can say will change this mean *** man! get some independance an get out! until you get on your feet , stay away from him. there is no feeling better than indepenance , if you don't find it you will be stuck in this type of life style for the rest of your life. he just sounds like he is mean hearted , to treat a lady that way! your answer isn't going to be found here , but in your own growth you will find answers.
2006-10-01 05:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋