Not sure if it is infatuation or love but what ever it is I need some answers. I am a married man with a kid but when it comes to spending my life I picture someone else by my side. Can't say I don't love my wife but I always get the feeling we are not right for each other. She is dependant on me financially and probably emotionally. Anything I do has potential to ruin her life . PS: I am not sleeping with the other woman as of yet. Pls advise.
2006-10-01 05:05:33 · 20 answers · asked by QPro 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stop i know from experience that its the worst thing you can do i had a affair with somebody i worked with and it caused more damage than i will ever know stop and think about what you are doing i didnt and i hurt alot of people in the process in the heat of the moment you dont think you only think about yourself , i regret it every day so stop and think about what you are doing before you react okay good luck
2006-10-01 07:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by mz.thang 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If this is how you feel, then you should get a divorce. I don't think it's good to stay together for a kid. This kid is going to be seeing your luke warm relationship with your wife, and then when it gets married, it's going to think being in a relationship like that is acceptable. I'd rather my kids grow up knowing what true love means and not learning how to settle. Also, if you love your wife at all, you'd want her to be truly happy as well. It doesn't sound like either of you are. Let her go so she can take a second stab at finding her true love and so you can do the same as well. But get a divorce first before you start looking seriously at anyone else. They will think that you are a ho and will leave them even if you're married to them later down the road. Sorry for calling your child it, but you didn't give a gender.
2006-10-01 05:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is this my husband? just kidding. As a grown man you must make a choice.Life is to short for regrets. Don't act on your feelings until your sure what you are feeling. Is it attraction (hormonal) or love? Image your life without your wife-does it seem better or worse(not just the short term)? Would you still that way about your wife if this other woman wasn't around. We can do anything we want as long as we're willing to pay the consequences. Are U willing? They may be ugly. Don't stick around though just because it's comfortable, because your sheating your wife out of happiness and someone that really is into her. Have had the same question myself. Whatever you decide be upfront and honest your wife may be feeling the same about you.
2006-10-01 05:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by Babydoll 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The grass isnt always greener on the other side. Spend time with ur wife and talk about what u want to be different in ur relationship. Marriage is tough but worth all the effort u put into it. As long as the effort is being put into it. I think its easy to be sidetracked into thinking that everyday life would be better with someone else because it is unknown and new to u. Buts thats all it is. And it will wear off in a matter of time. Think of ur child too and the effects this will have on them.
2006-10-01 07:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by Laura J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be up front with your wife. Is she someone you can talk to? Has she been complimenting or complaining about you? If she treats you more like a second child than a man & husband, then seeking a more satisfying relationship outside your marriage is not the answer.
I think you're 'crying in your beer' about your current situation. Most men are treated like crap by their women and put up with it. Alot of women (I was one) put more effort to get a man than to keep him - we think everything should happen the way we want. He did the laundry, but put the delicates in the dryer. Do we thank him for doing all the laundry or punish him because he shrank my cashmere sweater? Is cooking dinner a chore or a show of love? Men who are crying in their beer usually aren't crying alone for long......
The answer is: talk with your wife!! Tell her the feelings you have about your marriage & relationship!! Find out what she really feels about you & the marriage!! Communication is the key!!
If you continue down the road with the colleague, you're going to end up in the same spot you're at now. You need to learn what you need in a marriage and you need to give your current wife the chance to fulfill your needs, and vice versa.
2006-10-01 05:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by crazybouthorses68 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to take some time off away from your wife.Figure who you love the most..( more like figure if you still love your wife..try not to put the other woman in the pic first) Really search for the ans.Cos you might feel you love the other woman more cos its a new thrill.But if you decide you not in love with your wife..break it to her gently.But no matter what..she'll be crushed.But its better than to lie & lead her on...
Good Luck.I hope you find the answer you need.
2006-10-01 05:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by ddko 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Been there done that" Ive been on both sides of the fence and take it from me its not worth the heartache for her, your wife, or you. Get out of your dream land and wake up, infatuation can fool, If you didn't think your wife wasn't "the one" you wouldn't have married her stay home spice up your life visit an adult store, you'd be surprise what she would be willing to do if you only sat with her and had a heart to heart talk with her. Don't be a statistic.
2006-10-01 05:25:47 · answer #7 · answered by lynmcasper 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm seems to me that your confused here. Well I guess what your feeling now is just a mere infatuation. Simply because those traits that you have seen "the other woman "has seems to lacking in your wife.
Define love? have you remembered the Vow that you take with your wife " Until death do us part?
Im not here to give you advice, Its still up to you how you want this situation to end
but for me, its best that you stick with your wife now and try to work this up. just for the sake of your child
2006-10-01 05:15:31 · answer #8 · answered by flower_roxy101 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many times we mistake the thrill of the fantasy. Being married is sometimes hard and we can get tangled up with emotion for someone else. You have to differentiate between love and lust. Just imagine your life without your wife in all aspects, it's easy to think we have feelings for someone else as long as we still have our spouse. Think of her gone, and living everyday life with this other woman. Dishes, housework, bills, disagreements, laundry, yard work, etc. Think it out, you have alot to loose.
2006-10-01 05:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by june clever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop before you go any further! The grass looks greener, but....
Spend the time, and effort, with the woman that is tried and true,your wife! Another woman can never bring you what you're seeking...it's right there at home. Good Luck!!
2006-10-01 05:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like lust..... don't go there. Unless you have lots of money to pay alimony and child support and are willing to give up half of everything you have and willing to live in poverty for the rest of your life. Start thinking with your big head instead of your little head. Dude, it's not worth it. And good luck trying to get a fair settlement when your dealing with a woman scorned!!!
2006-10-01 05:14:15 · answer #11 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋