I met this guy online January 2005 dated for a few months and I broke up with him because he drinks heavily and becomes aggressive when he drinks.
Since around April 2005, I have tried to get rid of him. I gave him a few chances here and there and after that and he would drink again and the same thing would repeat.
Since, he has moved to NJ (he was from NY state when I met him), and now lives 5 minutes from my home!
He leaves me notes every single day on my car saying I hurt him and that he loves me. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every time I leave to go out in the morning, there will be a note when I return on my fence. He obviously is watching my every move.
He is extremely jealous of my sister and accuses me of going to single clubs and bars when I am with her. Says that we are having sex with men when we go out. He knows every time she comes over.
He used to call my house all day long. I finally resolved this with a phone block, but he occasionally gets to pay phones and still continues to call.
I am afraid to get a restraining order since this may trigger a worse response.
I did call the police last month and told them there is a stalker at my home. What really hurts is, (I was told this by the stalker) the cop NEVER asked for his drivers license, insurance & registration (which he doesn't have anymore) and failed to notice the expired inspection sticker in the window. The stalker was reeking with vodka and the cop didn't even give him a DWI. Then the cop tells me they checked him out, which was a lie!
So I do not feel safe with the police.
What do I do?
2006-10-01 04:52:30 · 21 answers · asked by Cassy 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
check with a lawyer if you can afford one.
if you can't there should be some alterantive form of legal serivces in your area.
Check with your social services and they will tell you where to go.
If you don't get the right answer the first time, keep going. Some people are more helpful than others.
Stalking is illegal
2006-10-01 05:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by helpme1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-29 09:44:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont read the notes, file them away, if you think you might go to the police in the future, keep a diary of all the calls etc, for evidence
if he phones just put the phone down without saying anything to him, as him hearing your voice or seeing you read the notes just acts as an incentive to him.
I really think the police should be helping more. Keep a diary, gather up the notes, if you see him outside your house then take photos. Take it all to the police and tell them you are frightened and want an injunction against him.
2006-10-01 05:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a restraining order to let him know that you mean business. Perhaps the reason the police are not helping you is because your not willing to get a restraining order to put a stop to him once and for all. this is serious and you should consider him to be a dangerous person. I would not waste another minute obtaining a restraining order to protect yourself .This man is obviously disturbed and in need of professional help. Better to be safe than sorry. There are laws against stalking, I believe in most states it is illegal. Good luck
2006-10-01 08:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write down everything he does and keep all those notes. Go to the police station again. Start a report. Call your phone company and cell company and tell hem you are being harrassed. They will usually change your phone number for free. If you get a restraining order, cops will arrest quicker.
2006-10-01 05:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Fleur de Lis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put up a no trespassing sign on your property, obtain a sizeable gun and some ammo. The second he sets foot on your property, blow a hole through his abdomen.
or
save every note, take the block off your phone and let your answering machine pick up every one of his messages. save all of it, play stalker yourself and get a picture of his license plate with the expired sticker. gather every ounce of evidence against him and then press charges. Get some neighbors to keep an eye on your house and have them record every time he comes over. Post a sign saying something like "(his name) is stalking me, please phone the police if you see him." add a good sized picture of him and his vehicle.
call the police station every time he calls or comes over. get a car alarm so it goes off everytime he puts a note on your car.
get a big vicious dog to let loose on him.
make it publicly known that you do not want this man's attention, and that you see him as a dangerous threat.
It would be a lot easier just to shoot him though, but unfortunately, then you would be the one in jail. life isn't fair.
2006-10-01 06:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is how I get rid of a stalker, I start a relationship where I falsely pretend to be in love with the stalker, then I start trippin and do what I call reverse stalking. I stalk the stalker. Once I have the stalker convinced that I'm all theirs I tell them the only way we could be together for ever is if we are both dead, I devise a double suicide kool aid party except I dont put poision in my kool-aid, then when the stalker puts his real poison in his kool-aid he offs himself and that is the end of my stalker problem. See how simple it is.
2006-10-01 05:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretend that you are going out with another guy-- your new "boyfriend".
make every effort to show the stalker that you love your new guy so much, and that he (the stalker) is no longer wanted.
Your new "boyfriend" should pretend to leave love notes in your car, too. However, he should beat the stalker to it, so when the stalker arrives, he'll see the note and defer his own plan of leaving a note. And so on and so forth, until the stalker feels hopeless and worthless, and one day he'll just stop stalking and disappear, because you're too busy loving your new guy, and you have no time to notice him.
...and get your own security guard, in case he starts to break into your house.
2006-10-01 05:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all get some pepper spray you may need to spray his eyes if you do have to use it kick him in the crotch after you sprayed him. hopefully you won't need to do anything so drastic but be ready to protect yourself.
I like the idea someone had about him seeing you with a boyfriend that would turn him off and also document everything and go back to the cops.. sucks they didn't do anything the first time and probable treated you like some neurotic woman but unfortunately you should get them involved and even if you have to call them every day.. this guy is bad if he has moved to be near you and don't take it lightly.. good luck
2006-10-01 09:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move as far away as you can. But do not let him know where. You say he is making accusations about your sister. Are you having conversations with him? If so. stop. Tear up the notes you find on your car in plain site and toss them away in plain sight. Moving is probably the best strategy. Also contact the your local authorities on domestic violence and abuse. This is mental abuse.
2006-10-01 11:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋