All people at school talk behind her back, thinking who is the father, teachers look at her badly. One of our teachers is priest and she always had friendly relationship with him and now she feels uncomfortable. She is really good person, very religious. Before she was raped she was virgin and really wanted to wait for marriage and real guy. After all she has been through now she is going through this. Would it be the best for her to tell them all to leave her alone because nth is her fault. I know all this because we are best friends since ever. People are such a hypocrats. They are acting like teen mums are criminals! Would it be better if she would tell truth at least to her teachers?
2006-10-01 04:44:21 · 28 answers · asked by HarMonia 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
The discison to tell someone you were rape can be very painful. I do hope she went to the police afterward. If she is comfrontable with that then she can tell who ever she wants. Unfourtently telling people may not change they way they look at her. People can be hypocrats and many of these people my believe that it's still her fault. That my dear is the sad sad world we as women live in still today.
2006-10-01 04:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by ellc123 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You said she had a friendly relationship with her teacher/priest before and is now uncomfortable.... does she seem uncomfortable around ALL guys? Or just him? (Red flag there for me...) As for telling people the truth, it is none of their business. The ONLY people she needs to tell are the police! If she doesn't tell them, how will they be able to catch him and prevent him from attacking other innocent girls or maybe even boys? Rape is a very traumatic thing for anyone, but most especially for a young girl.
I hope and pray that she will get help. Not just from the police, but from a victim's advocacy group or therapy.
2006-10-01 13:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by Why's the rum gone? ☺☮♥ ツ♫ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she was raped she should first tell the police. If she has already done that then she can decide how much she cares about what people think. If she hates the idea of people thinking that she did this on purpose she should tell the people that she most cares about, aka her best friends and teachers. They can also offer her support in this hard time. She might also want to ask her friends and teachers to tell anyone who asks about it what really happened, and that way they know. If she doesn't want them to know about the raping she should tell them to bug off (students) or that he isn't comfortable discussing it (adults).
2006-10-01 13:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by mminuyasha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure it's her who tells people the truth about what happened. It's really no one else's business. In fact, the teachers should have taken the initiative to offer her counceling as a young mother (regardless of if they know it's rape or not). Maybe she should talk to her priest/teacher and ask him. He's required to keep things secret. But when it comes down to it, in a few years, she'll rarely see any of these people again. They'll just become a passing comment at a dinner party.
2006-10-01 11:49:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny J 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Let the teachers and such think what they will.
She has been through enough and sometimes having people looking at you with the "oh you poor baby" look and treating you like you need sympathy constantly is WORSE than letting them think what they want.
Just be as supportive and caring of a friend as you have been.
2006-10-01 12:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by msdagney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand by your Friend she need you now more then ever. If people are talking about her like you say
they do. That means she is more important to them ..then they are important to themselves. If the teachers are talking about her then, they are not doing their job. They should be counseling her giving her some type of guidance since she is so young. She will know deep down inside when it's time to tell the truth. When she tell, watch what happen to the hypocrites. Tell her keep her head up, every thing will be all right.
2006-10-01 12:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by boogietb2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is a very courageous person. Only she can decide who needs to know what information aobut her pregnancy. She should talk to her parents and tell only the pople she really trusts with that informaion. People will think and say what they want to, but that does not change the truth. Stay by her side and defend her when you can without violating the trust whe has placed in you. My prayers are with you.
2006-10-01 12:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by sm2f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to look into the future and really think about who will & will not be there 10 years from now. The ones who will not be there she needs to overlook them. The REAL friends will still be there for her AND the baby. I am proud of her for keeping the baby. After all it is part of her. It's not the babys fault. The baby and your friend are the victims. I hope it goes well for her.
2006-10-01 12:13:12 · answer #8 · answered by Pretty Girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
at the end of the day if she tells people the truth then people wouldn't jugde her as much as she is now. she has done nothing wrong the man who raped her did. i think she is very brave in having the baby and good luck to her. it's a hard think to do. she should also contact the police about this as rape is a big thing to get through without keeping it a serect.
2006-10-01 11:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by louise b 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she feels comfortable talking with the teachers, then yes, But maybe she should discuss it with her parents firtst, then have them sit w/her & discuss it with the teachers. That way she has some people on her side. Does she know her attacker? She needs to press charges if she does. This way it won't happen to other young women and everyone will take her situation seriuosly.
2006-10-01 11:57:49 · answer #10 · answered by pritigrl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋