My daughters are only one year apart in age and the older one is very popular at School while her sister has not even one person to play with at recess and lunchtime. Her sister refuses to play with her or hang out with her at school as her friends don't want to. I have had many arguments with her about this and it's become a daily battle. Her sister is very sad and has to sit by herself at both recesses and lunchtime. This breaks my heart. Her Dad spoke to her Teacher about this and she said she would try to work out a buddy system such as pairing kids up or putting them into play groups (I'm talking about nine year olds here) However the Teacher either forgot or for some reason didn't try this so we are back to square one.
What do YOU suggest?
Am I wrong for trying to FORCE my ten year old daughter to play with her nine year old sister at school?
2006-10-01 04:13:14 · 10 answers · asked by MAK 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
My ten year old daughter is very mad at me about this-she says she'll lose all her friends if she's forced to play with a 'little kid.' She feels she plays with her sister at home and so she should have time with her friends too.
Her sister is a very shy and quiet kid unless around family and family friends. She doesn't talk much at school unless spoken to.
2006-10-01 04:18:14 · update #1
Kid party, your place for the nine year old right now! Invite her whole class. your 10 tear old doesn't need one and if she feels like the odd girl out for a change it might teach her compassion.
2006-10-01 11:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Tom H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes because the older one will only punish the younger one for the forced companionship,and the younger one will resent the fact of forced friendship from the older one,your daughter will grow into herseld at her own pace and will find friends on her level,she might be just more of a loner which is not a bad thing she probably is a very imganitive young girl and prefers her own company to that of the other kids. If she seems depressed though and it continues I would seek conceling for her,but at this young of an age nothing good will come of forcing her sister or any other children to play with her.Just sit down with your 9 year old and let hertell you on her own without your prompeting anything how she is feeling and what she may going through,good luck & I hope this helped at least a little.
2006-10-01 04:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Wish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when I was nine I wasn't very popular either and I had no friends and was always bullied. I don't know what to say because I was never helped, my parents did nothing. But I can say it gets better, I was a loser when I was nine and no one liked me and now i'm pretty much the most popular girl in the school but i'm not in elementary school anymore so I can't really help, but she could try to talk to other kids at her school, I have no idea how mean the kids are now but i've heard they got a bit worse, but if she talks to some kids of a younger age or her one age i'm sure they will talk.
2006-10-01 04:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kelsey's Mommy<3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm sorry but I believe you are wrong on this... You cannot FORCE her... all you can do is try to encourage her as a parent, and teach her values, tell her its the right thing... But its gotta come from her... And starting an argument with her certainly is not going to solve anything, she's only goin to rebel more.... She is not doing anything wrong by not hanging out with her sister, although it would be the nice thing to do...
I think your better off helping your other daughter learn to make friends... WHy doesnt she have friends??? IS it cuz shes too shy? Maybe help her come up with conversation starters, give her her the confidence she needs to go to someone and say "You look like a cool person, wanna play??" Or maybe its cuz her style is not the "in" look... Encourage her to keep her own style, but to be more confident about it.. Maybe she can even start a new trend... Maybe its her attitude thats stopping her from having friends... Does she get selfish, and not share?? Does she like to argue and bully people?? SHow her the right way to talk to her peers....
I'm not saying any of these is your daughters problem... Maybe its something completely differernt... BUt if you can find the root cause of her not having friends, you can help her.... Having your other daughter hang out with her during recess is honestly not helping her in the long run anyway.... SHes not learning social skills that way, its like a crutch... What happens when your older daughter moves on to middle school, and your youngest is left friendless at elementary school again??? Your goin to have your older daughter held back and do 5th grade again?? Your youngest needs to learn that her older sister is not always going to be there, and needs to learn to make her own friends...
Also, I wouldnt depend on the teacher... Though the teacher can be a big help in this, esp. w/ 9 year olds (we're not talking 5 here), its almost impossible to come up w/ "play groups" Maybe to start, but once they're out on that playground they're going to start forming their little cliques anyway... They're at the age where they're looking for meaningful friends and not ones that they're teacher is forcing them with... So again teacher can help, but the ultimate responsiblitly of helping your daughter begins with you, the parent...
Good luck, and hope everything works out
2006-10-01 04:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by Emily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you know......that you are not alone with this problem....it happens often
forcing the 10 year old to play with the 9 year old will not work
being the 'odd man out' is very hard on the 9 year old
if it is at all possible, and only if the 9 year old agrees, you need to enroll her in a different school.....a private school with few children in each class would be best for her personal social development
2006-10-01 04:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by Cap'n Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is Nobel, but u need to take your 9 year old daughter out and go things with her and get use to playing with other children. take her to a play ground, or have her invite a friend from school. and take them to the park, or sit at the table and play a game with them both, or have a sleep over. make a invitation out for your daughter, have 2or 3 kids over. on a night u and your partner, don't have to work. good luck,
2006-10-01 05:03:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should force it. Kids are different, and siblings will be different. My brothers are also one year apart and had the same situation. Now that they are both past 17 ~ the roles have switched. The quieter one (who is the sweet one) has many friends, while the other (who was more social) doesn't have as many friends. Forcing it, I think, will make it worse. Just give her time to come out of her shell. ~ She will...
2006-10-01 04:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by ♥michele♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the older one have her fun. The younger one needs your help in making friends. The older one should not bare the responsibility of her sister's social problems.
2006-10-01 04:39:41 · answer #8 · answered by sue-sue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not if the other one is very popular.I feel really bad.that teacher sucks.she doesn't sound very kind.I would play with your little girl but at 19....I think that's a little too old
2006-10-01 04:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Hello Kittly Lover ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong with ur younger daughter. She needs to talk to people, its not like they are gonna eat her.
2006-10-01 04:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋