For my wedding my parents gave me lots of jewellery almost worth a million. The problem is my mother-in-law wants to keep them...she don't want them, but wants their custody. I don't feel like giving it to her. My hubby keeps mum abt this, saying he can't take any sides. He belongs to a tamil family, but I'm not. They r saying that this is a tamil tradition, that the mother-in-keeps the gold.
Is thr any tamil guys over there, who can really tell me abt this "tradition" ?? Pls help me.
2006-10-01 03:37:38 · 9 answers · asked by merlyn n 1 in Local Businesses ➔ United States ➔ Dallas
Here's a website with some Tamil marriage customs.
http://shaadionline.com/sol/asp/rnc/rituals-customs.asp?ComID=74
If you don't find what you are looking for, post on their message boards.
I do have some advice for you, although it may start you off on the wrong foot:
Tamil custom says that the first choice as a wife for an eligible groom is his first cousin. If she's so into this Tamil tradition and keeping it sacred, why does she get to pick and choose which customs/rituals she will follow?
2006-10-01 03:52:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. This is common/general tradition all over in India and it's not a Tamil Tradition.
2. It's not important that where you keep your ornaments because it's after all your family issue and it depends on how orthodox your mother in law is but what matters is your hubby keeping mum. He should consider that a girl has left her home for him, her parents for him and if you want to keep ornaments with you, it's not a big deal.........He has to stand besides you. I am not planting any bad things about him in your mind but seat with him and tell him in black and white that ornaments has to be with you....ok?
3. Any Indian family who is a joint family.........once you give up, you are a dead meat !! So don't give up. After all it's your ornaments !!
2006-10-01 03:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't a clue about your tradition but I'd have a serious talk with your parents. I would consider very carefully about what they say to you about this. Perhaps they could keep it for you in safekeeping or get a safety deposit box yourself. Could your mother-in-law have a portion of the jewellery to "keep for you" allowing you to keep the "tradition". I guess the value of what she keeps "for you" would have some meaning. Talk to your parents especially the one that is least traditional. I hope you don't have to live with your in-laws, you didn't mention that. Good luck to you and have a wonderful marriage.
2006-10-01 03:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Dame Di 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no! I would contact an Attorney and make sure you know your rights to the Jewellery. I am not sure, but if it is was from my parents, I would keep my GOLD! I would also but it under lock and key and hide the only key. Click the link below if you need an Attonrey.
2006-10-02 11:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not from India, But I would not give her the jewelry your parents gave it to you not her. I would not care what tradition it is. If you have to let your Mother keep for you .
2006-10-01 03:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by jingles_200 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to follow any "tradition" you don't believe specially if it isn't from your religion or anything, I think she is trying to steal from you, don't let her! put them in a safety box and don't tell anybody (even your husband) the combination password.
2006-10-01 03:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by electric_girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is a case of insecurity that you will ask her to quit the house once she becomes old or sick or to prevent you from seperation from the son in case you think so ,or its just possessive behaviour of mothers in law
2006-10-01 03:53:17 · answer #7 · answered by subra m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder what this has to do with local businesses in Dallas!
My advice is don't let anyone else have the jewelry, they gave it to you, not your in-laws.
2006-10-01 03:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by Dfwteddybear 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You must really need an answer to this.
2006-10-01 03:49:46 · answer #9 · answered by wheezer_april_4th_1966 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋