For my wedding my parents gave me lots of jewellery almost worth a million. The problem is my mother-in-law wants to keep them...she don't want them, but wants their custody. I don't feel like giving it to her. My hubby keeps mum abt this, saying he can't take any sides. He belongs to a tamil family, but I'm not. They r saying that this is a tamil tradition, that the mother-in-keeps the gold.
Is thr any tamil guys over there, who can really tell me abt this "tradition" ?? Pls help me.
2006-10-01 03:35:14 · 9 answers · asked by merlyn n 1 in Local Businesses ➔ Singapore
Its ok, whats the fuss about? Let her keep the jewellery, its not that she is going to sell it or you cant have it back, just ask her whenever you want to wear the jewellery. She will be happy and you will be happy aswell. By the way if you feel like you are not able to fulfill your mother inlaws expectation, you and your hubby can always move out and live on your own. By the way I am not Tamil.
2006-10-01 03:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by ash_m_79 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Honestly, there is no such tradition in the indian culture thats says u have to hand over all your gold and whatever to the mother-in-law. In fact, the actual tradition is actually the mother-in-law that will give you some of the family ornaments as a continuation of the tradition. There must be some hidden agenda to her insistence. Honestly, keep to yourself what is yours or deposit it into the deposit box for safe-keeping, as u should not end up as the loser in a unforseen circumstances. In fact, my wife is a chinese and till today, I never demand nor any member of the family demand what is personal to her. So act wisely, and dont end up losing everything. If true love exist, materials and materialism has little or no significance in comparison to family bonding.
2006-10-03 05:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by lanks20032003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your mother-in-law is a golddigger. Don't succumb to her demands - the gift was to *you,* so the jewelry is *yours.* Your husband sounds like a "momma's boy."
I highly doubt this is a "tradition," but if it is, it needs to be stopped. It serves no purpose whatsoever. If you're not Tamil, you wouldn't be bound by Tamil traditions anyway - you could just as easily claim that your ethnic group/religious group, etc. has a tradition that brides keep all their gifts.
Again, I think your mother-in-law is trying to trick you to get her hands on some riches. DON'T GIVE IN.
2006-10-01 10:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by wheezer_april_4th_1966 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tradition or not, I am extremely leary of this situation!
My mom lost her Indian (Native American, in this case) jewelry to her mother in law, who offered to hold it for her while her husband was out of state contracting.
When she came back, she acted like she never knew what you were talking about.
Perhaps a compromise on the situation, IF this is a real tradition, is that you have BOTH your names on a safe deposit box at the bank, and that BOTH of you have to be present to view?
Myself...I don't think this is a real tradition. In any event, insure the stuff!!!
Good luck honey.
2006-10-01 23:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
II would stay with my own tradition. People should not take other's gold away just because they have different tradition. They have to learn how to respect others properties, and ownership. They might have some other tradition too!!! What is the tradition in case of divorce? I bet you is keeping the gold for good. Isn’t it? lol
2006-10-01 10:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by TX-Man88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not Indian, I'm from Puerto Rico but If YOUR PARENTS gave you jewelery YOU and I repeat YOU have custody of the jewels... And if anything tell your parents to safe guard your possession. And for your mother in law KICK her butt Good bey. EFIL
2006-10-01 10:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well dear. Have them put into the safe deposit box. Put her name 1st. she will love you for it then put yours. Now to get to agree to that, get yr parents to say something about possiblities of being robbed..or somthing. This would help your MIL to allow you to put into to a safe.
Just got married, dont expect yr hubby to side you. If u do, u will get hell from MIL...ok.believe me.
She will give u names..
Good luck dear.
2006-10-05 07:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there not hers, just keep them in a safe place were she won't take it or move out
2006-10-01 10:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kill her. Or deposit in the bank locker. Tell your mother in law that due to security and safty the jewls should be in bank
2006-10-01 10:43:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋