going through a divorce kinda i have a 14 8yr old the younger one doesnt understand, should i move out or stay with the EX-hubby?
i also dont have a great paying job, because i have 2 watch the kids so therefor i dont have a great deal of money, but when the divorce happpenes i get half, but still thats not truley enough.
2006-10-01 03:18:06 · 17 answers · asked by Marypoppens91 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When there are kids involved, I say ,unless he's beating the crap out of you or you fight like cats & dogs, stay in the same house. If you can learn to coexist that in itself is a good life lesson for your kids. Good luck!
2006-10-01 09:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would be the point of a divorce if you two were still living together?
You're obviously going through a divorce, yet, seems like you want to stick around due to money issues.
As Dr. Phil would say, either you both want the divorce or you don't. No one here can make your minds up, only you and your spouse. Seems like you need to do some serious thinking and looking at your options open and available to you, as a single parent.
Also do you think living with your soon to be ex, would make your or his life better, if he agrees to this? Depending on who filed for the divorce, there's going to be hurt feelings, all the way around.
Kids are resilient and they will adjust eventually. Will they get over the hurt? Of course not, but they learn to adjust. Just make sure that your and your soon to be ex reinforce that the divorce isn't their fault.
Anyways, good luck to you!
2006-10-01 10:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by whydiduaskthis? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, how sad. Um.. I would say that you move out. If you have a divorce, u shouldn't live with your ex. It's just like that. What I would do is maybe for the weekends your children could come over so they still get to see you. About your job, I'm not sure. What you could do is just find a new one. Or you can see about just living in an apartment and you won't have to pay as much. FInd a cheap environment. Don't buy something so big that you wont use 3 of the rooms. Good Luck!
2006-10-01 10:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by ツ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this isnt fair on anyone,,if you are prepared to stay after the divorce maybe you shouldnt divorce in the first place,,it would seem you will find it bearable to live with him for the sake of the kids,,you have married and havent even seperated before you are thinking of ending it,,but in a way that changes what? absolutely nothing! you dont get to keep the perks,,you dont get to keep the money,you dont get to keep everything the same but pretend to have your own lives,,it doesnt work like that,divorce is a final step to ending a marriage that doesnt work,,it isnt calling it a day in all but the moving,,this isnt fair on any of you least of all the kids,,have you tried counselling? if you can still stand to be around him for the perks maybe you could try to make everyone happier by actually trying to get the relationship back on track. leaving IS scary,,be it them or you who has to go but this ,,to be honest is just using your soon to be ex for what you can keep and get,,would you do it if the shoe was on the other foot,,i doubt it. if you choose something it is with forsight and knowing how you are going to cope,,you will be a single mom with a part time job,two kids to support and a new home to run,,if you are not 100% looking forward to your new/without hubby life you may need to rethink your options,,you cant have both.
2006-10-01 10:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read a recent study that says if there is no abuse or fighting in the house then kids actually prefer their parents to stay together. However, you have to think about yourself. You also say you are "kinda" going through a divorce. It sounds like you are not sure. Maybe you should figure out if your relationship is truly over or if it can be saved.
2006-10-01 11:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably depends if you live in a common-law state. If you get divorced and then continue to live as if you were still married, you may have to get divorced all over again. I was considering the same thing years ago, but lived in such a state so opted for moving out.
2006-10-01 10:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by fwb905 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to decide, I know. I'm going through this now. I wanted very much to divorce but decided to hang on just for my kids' (9 yr and 6 yr) sake. I need more time to think about everything. Maybe you shouldn't hurry into things but let yourself have more time to think and plan, like how to settle the kids, the job and so on.....
2006-10-01 10:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by Illusion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation does not work for all people but I have seen it work. If you and your ex can come to an agreement and break down rules and guidelines for living together until you can afford to move out then try it for a while. It will help the children adjust to the soon to be separation.
2006-10-01 10:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying for the money or for the kids is a bad idea.....children are much smarter than we give them credit for, and will sense any hostiliy between you and your ex-to-be. If I were you I would move out........but this is a desicion that you are going to have to make, we obviously don't have all the details...good luck
2006-10-01 10:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean break. Don't let the worry of money stop you from getting your own place. Many times in life people will endure financial difficulty. They get through it and it will happen again, they get through it and it happens again. Trust me, it happens to the best of us. In time though, things will get better, especially after the kids are grown and have flown the coop.
2006-10-01 10:33:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋