would like to hear from people that have actually done it.
2006-10-01 02:50:11 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
being honest, i think that its fairly obvious you aren't totally into this idea as you've left it up to complete strangers to help you make up your mind.
If you aren't completely into it, dont do it - especially as you're married! There's too much at stake, you dont want jealousy creeping in and putting yourself at risk of being just another divorce statistic
2006-10-01 02:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by Rachie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! What a diverse board on this question! It is a good one and one that I can not answer by personal experience.
If this is going to be a special gift you should check with him to see if he is ok with it. I like the earlier advice of some others that state this is one that could go either way. Read you question, how can you be with another woman and watch? Are you allowing hubby in on this action? Are you okay with the fact that she may be better in the sack then you and he might think he now has an open permit to go find others for the two of you?
You might be able to get away with a little less then the full commitment though. Why not buy/rent a video with this senearo and see his reaction to it. Afterward have movie discussion and ask him if that is something you think you two could try with some serious guidelines. Understand that though you might promise this will be a one time thing, some promises get broken and when that happens bad things follow.
Best of luck, I would live to know how this one comes out! Wish there was a way to follow this up
2006-10-01 03:23:49 · answer #2 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman who has only been with women for most of my adult life, I have to ask, what is your motivation for this? As far as your marriage goes, it's a bad idea; whether it's for you or your husband, you will probably open a whole can of worms. It matters little whether it's a man or a woman, when a 3rd person enters a relationship, it's only a matter of time before someone gets hurt. If you are attracted to women, then this is an issue that you need to deal with, but remember that bisexuality isn't a licence for infidelity; too often this type of situation is a game where at least one of the parties involved end up forgetting the rules.
2006-10-01 03:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by shancelt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you want to give your husband a fantasy that he may or may not have but the reality isn't always as good as the fantasy.
Haven't done or been in this position but the best thing about sex and fancying my partner in a long term relationship is all mind related and it's all about sharing the intimacy with the person i love.
Sex as a sport is ok, but it's got nothing to do with husband and wife relationships. I thnk your idea fits into this category.
Think what turns his mind on and create special times for it not just as prt of an evening ritual etc
2006-10-01 03:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've not done it, but have considered it. Its something that can be wonderful for some people, but can turn in to an awful experience for others. The best thing to do is to talk about it at great length, and cover everything that could happen and what you both want.
2006-10-01 02:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really believe that you could do it and have no hang ups then go for it.!if its just you 'girl on girl' then i can't see a problem as most men don't see that as you having it off with someone else as they would do if it were another man.Ask your bloke-I'm sure he'll be up for it.If he's want to join in the fun then you really need think hard about how you would feel-are you normally jealous?are you secure enough to know that what he is doing with this girl is just a pure physical act and that it's you he loves.I'll not divulge too much information but it can work if you have a secure relationship.
2006-10-01 03:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by vonbon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends if your husband is going to join in or not. If he is you need to mark boundries of what you would not like to see, it can be great fun but trust is a major issue, if you dont trust him 100% then do not do it cause it could ruin your relationship. If trust isn't a problem then why not experiment a bit just give it alot of serious thought before you do, good luck!
2006-10-01 02:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't done it and can't see me doing it either BUT I think that you should really think about what you may be getting into as fantasising is one thing but after she is gone and its just you and hubby again, I wonder if it'll ever be the same again !!
Whatever you decide Good Luck !!!
2006-10-01 02:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by IloveMarmite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a bad idea.. cheat is cheating.. and even if its with another woman its cheating, and to expect for ur husband just to sit there and watch, is doubtful too.. and then theres the morning after, he could get jealous even though its a woman and it could cause alot of problems for u , or it could make u resent him, or cause insecurity issues if he seemed to pay more attention to her then u ect.. i say dont do it..
2006-10-01 02:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
beware ,unless your marriage is very strong and you trust each other and are very secure with your sexuality don't go there,there are many doors that get opened when you do this and many people just cant handle it for many reasons,insecurities can develop over another in your bed,unless you are sure this is what you both want and I mean both of you ,not cause he wanted it or ,you are doing it for him ,you have to want it for yourself too.good luck,it takes a very mature couple to Handel it,and always remember,its for play time only ..no on going friendships with your toys,and be careful,and safe always
2006-10-01 03:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by amber e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋