Ok, if you have read any of my post the lasst couple of days, you will be ahead of the game. My husband heard that there was a girl that wanted to talk to him. He tracked her down on myspace and hass been messaging her. He said he was going to messager her and tell her that it is in appropiate for them to speak on the net. We knew this girl when we lived in NM. So I do know her. He said he would do. I asked him too. He was on myspace today, and didn't do it. He told me yesterday that he wan't going to go out of his way to message her and tell her. It is really makinig me mad. Shouldn't he have done it when he was on today? He called me a snoop when I told him that I saw that he wass on today. I was on because I had a message from someone that I didn't know, and I wanted to decline their invite. The girl is the only one on his profile. Am I wrong with not droping it? Is it rong that I want him to tell her? He doesn't want me to do it. Should I tell her anyway?
2006-10-01 02:40:38 · 31 answers · asked by gin 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am on myspace because my brother and sister are on it and I don't have long distance. I am 20 years old.
2006-10-01 02:50:25 · update #1
It is easier to keep in touch with my family that way. I don't hang out on the blogs, and I only talk to people that I know and have known for years.
2006-10-01 02:52:19 · update #2
columbo, he has plenty of female friends. I am even happy that he speaks with them. But to go out of his way to look someone up one myspace and get pissed at me for not liking it, is mean on his part.
2006-10-01 02:55:00 · update #3
The girl in question, just turned 18.
2006-10-01 02:57:30 · update #4
Please read this with an open mind and then decide. Upon reading this I get a different feeling on whats actually going on here. Maybe, just maybe hes doing allof this as an act to get to you. In other words, hes getting his kicks watching you and your reaction to it. Yes, its a little kids game but then men are still little boys at heart. So you may be overacting and hes enjoying it. Yes hes e-mailing this girl but only as friends of past, as a way to get to you, knowing damn well it gets to you. What makes me think this way is hes not going out of his awy to hide anything, that he actually wants you to find it. Not a symbol of a man doing something wrong, cause guys will do anything to avoid confrontation especially a spouse. So your reaction is exactly what he wants you to do. What you need to do may be a little hard at first, but do a complete turn around, calm down and if you know hes on the computer with her or just got off talking to her,ask him how shes doing, etc. You might even email her and chat friendly with her. Get the picture. Once he knows hes not getting the reaction he wants, his game is over and chatting with her has lost its fun. It may take a little time but youll save your sanity and may actually have some fun uncovering him. Good luck
2006-10-01 03:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my take:
The only thing you can control in this situation... is you. This problem really isn't about "Miss Myspace." It's about trust and respect.
Checking up on your husband and seeing what he's doing must make you feel terrible... not only because you're finding out that he's not doing what you want.... but because you feel like you must check up on him.
Let it go. This is not about what he is or is not doing. This is about your reaction to it. You cannot control him. You can yell, scream, pout, stomp... but, when all is said and done, you cannot control him.
Let it go. You've told him how it makes you feel. Don't try to find out what he's doing on the computer. It'll make you miserable -- and you'll be caught in this "dance" with him, where you're the grownup and he's the kid, trying to get away with stuff.
Exit the battlefield. Rise above it. Treat him the way you want to be treated. Keep your focus on you.
It's not wrong that you want what you want. But, it is futile to think you're going to get him to act in a certain way.
Take a step back. Take a deep breath. Keep a list of all you're grateful for.
Good luck!
Take the high road. You'll never be sorry.
2006-10-01 03:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw that.. im sorry if he really thought what he was doing was wrong he would of delt with it..and ur his wife, there should be no reason to be called a snoop cause there shouldnt be any secrets.. and if he wants to be a dumb azz by not grabbing his ballz and being a real man by taking care of this issue, then u should have every right to .. go into Myspace.. change that lousey SOB's password.. and account info so he cant change it back.. then put a password on your computer, or go get the computer nanny program and put it on ur computer and have it set up to where he cant access any "ADULT " sites, he wants to act like an immature azz treat him like one..
2006-10-01 02:46:14 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are both Totally Immature to be on Myspace......DUH!!!! If you are married, shouldn't you Grow Up and start acting a little more mature, sweetie??? Why not just delete all this silliness and stupidity and then there will be nothing to be concerned about??? Have you thought about spending time together instead of chatting with nobodies on the Internet??? What is the matter with the both of you????? Seems like there are issues in your marriage that you need to pay attention to.
2006-10-01 02:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I apologise for not being up to date on recent posts but when i saw your question i felt compelled to answer.
If that was my husband i would be completely outraged. Its hard on computers because obviously nothing happens face to face but he's obviously making you feel uncomfortable about the situation. If he loved you and respected your feelings i feel that he should put your mind at rest immediately.
You're not a snoop by seeing if he was on there, he's deliberately making you feel unsure about yourself which drives you to do these things.
Its not wrong for you to want him to tell her, you obviously love and care about your husband and as his wife you should get a monopoly on his attention, not have to share it with an online hussy who must know you are married to each other.
If I was you if he leaves it too long I'd do it myself and give this woman a piece of my mind!
Good Luck .x.
2006-10-01 02:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A "real" man would have taken care of this and it wouldn't matter how many women were wanting to talk with him. Myspace is for teenagers - what are you guys even doing bothering with it? Don't you have anything better to do? I'd drop her a line myself and tell her to drop it - if you can, use HIS account. If not, yours should do. He obviously likes to have his ego stroked - and you'd better hope that's all... Men are such slimeballs.
2006-10-01 02:45:13 · answer #6 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say your husband won't tell her because he don't want to.
He likes her attention it don't matter what you say.
He will call you all kinds of names and say things just to make you feel guilty so that he can have his way.
You are right to be angry so,
Go onto to his myspace page block her or pretend you are your husband and tell her that their is no point in them talking cause he is married and loves his wife.
2006-10-01 03:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be very insecure in your marriage. this is only happening on the internet and you should be thankful for that. Come right out and ask him if he ever plans to meet her and see what his reaction is. I wouldn't worry, especially if she is in another state. I don't know how old your husband is but she's 18, how much can they have in common? Also, maybe your not giving him what he needs at home and he's looking for it elsewhere...could that be the problem? Sit yourself down and think about these things before you start getting on his case about this. Good LUck!
2006-10-01 03:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by ctryhnny04 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
this technology thing is a funny thing. i would 'let' him talk to her (he'll do it anyway). i would also get into the game with him. tell him you want to inpersonate him and answer her too. it's better if he is getting his jollies from texting etc than roaming the field. you guys really need to talk about this without getting mad. if you feel unsure of yourself, then let him know. by giving him permission it takes some the naughty thrill out of it and gives you some control.
funni times in this texto techo age. TALK.
2006-10-01 02:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by Jilli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't he respecting your feelings on this? The tradtional marriage vows talk about forsaking ALL others. That means old girlfriends or girl friends. If he values you and your relationship, he needs to end all contact with this other gal.
2006-10-01 04:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by cherub2031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋