am not just going to leave i want to try and sort things but i find that i am just not going to belived anymore, yes i am very low and do feel unloved but so does my partner she says we have had such a rough ride with our relationship down to family,friends etc but we have always stuck togeather but where money is concerened it is different i am weak i suppose where inher previous relationship she was in controol of the money i dont want to go as i love her more than anything, she has hangsups where my children are concerned which does not help the two at home now are 16 a 17 at college and working partime they are standing on their own two feet but, she feels that my kids come first. i am so muddled up what to do what my heart says is different to my mind
2006-10-01 02:34:44 · 9 answers · asked by rachael b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I sure wish you people would use proper punctuation.
2006-10-01 02:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by NonePlusTwo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if money is the issue, it would be better if she controls it for a while ?
We all have to operate to our strengths in a partnership
This may not be permanent, you could both work on building your strength and procedures around money so that you can take back some of the responsibility as you dig yourselves out of
previous problems.
This however will only work if she accepts that your children are now teenagers and are at the stage where they need a little more financial support, they are just starting the process of flying from the nest and you will want to enjoy these last few precious years where you still have them at home.
You may look at plans at how to generate more money but although you may be the creative one I would let your partner deal with the business side of making it happen, She sounds very feet on the ground sort of person.
You may be muddled but that is not wrong, you are who you are, with all the strengths and weaknesses that you have. Embrace them and proud to be you.
Go for it and good luck.
2006-10-01 02:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rachael you are selling your partner short I think . If after 7 years in a lesbian relationship you have not encountered problems that make this seem Like a storm in a tea cup Id be surprised . Advice get control of your debts try consolidating them all into one lone . A personal loan will have far less interest than the credit card has so combine them into the personal loan and then work at reducing the principle as fast as you can with comfort as for your kids they should always come first before you or your partner but as you say yourself they are becoming more self sufficient as they get older and soon they will be living their own lives .So soldier on ... its life It goes up and down ..
You love this Lady i can tell . So be honest work hard because you know that you two are a match worth the worry .
2006-10-01 02:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps compromise on these issues. You can both be in control of the money, but you will have to take care of your own bad habits. Spending money, especially with credit cards, can become an addiction, so treat it like one. Be open and honest, always. That is so important. Don't wish the problems away. They will only grow. Be willing to meet halfway for the sake of mutual contentment. Sometimes both partners have to compromise some so it's a win/win situation.
2006-10-01 02:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sense that you are so confused, hurt, and depressed that you
have no idea what to do.
Back away and examine the relationship. Write about it in a journal. (Believe me, psychologists charge you for this info. When you write about something, it becomes clear in your mind,
and you can make reasonable and rational decisions)
Get yourself healthy, both emotionally and physically.
Whether you can rescue this situation, or not, is a matter of
fate. But you MUST pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get
control of your being. It isnt easy, but is it mandatory.
You may love her, but do you LIKE her.
Money is a symptom,not the issue.
2006-10-01 02:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by hls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kidz should always come first....
I don't know the history here but ... sometimes not living together is a good thing .. nothing like independance ...
and control of your own money
Dr BAd
Relationship expert
surgery full
2006-10-01 02:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-12 18:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
toss a coin
2006-10-01 02:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are "muddled"..............have no idea what you are blabbering on and on about! DUH!!!
2006-10-01 02:38:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋