I'm 16.. I'm positive I pulled out.. yet she got pregnant and had the baby cus she didn't listen to me when I told her to get an abortion.. so now we have a baby... and she's not my gf.. and i don't know what to do...please any advice.. ?
2006-10-01 02:33:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
ok.. 1) i wasnt bout to give up a chance jus to buy a condom 2) i have every right to tell her to get an abortion cus its my baby too.
2006-10-01 15:11:30 · update #1
Well, you made a mistake. But it's your mistake so you need to make it right.
First make sure the child is yours -- have a test done. When you ask to have the test done, make it clear that if the child is yours, you will take responsibility for it. Make sure the mother and her family know that. And you must mean it sincerely.
You will be this child's daddy for the rest of your life. Think of the kid -- do you know what it is like to grow up not knowing one of your parents? It isn't an easy thing. It harms people -- to feel rejected just for being alive? By one of the two people in the world who are supposed to be giving you unconditional love?
No matter how you feel about the baby's mother, don't do that to your own flesh and blood. Not only do you need to do your absolute best to be sure this child will be financially taken care of -- even if it means going without things yourself -- you need to be a part of the kid's life. A positive part of his or her life. Even though it might not feel like this now, know that you have been given great power, and an even greater gift.
2006-10-01 09:20:38 · answer #1 · answered by bugnscout 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all pulling out is the dumbest method of birth control. It has a zero% success rate. Second you did the deed now step up to the plate. She didn't want an abortion, this is not a choice you can make, her body her choice, sorry but that is the way it goes. If she keep the baby and didn't give it up for adoption, then you need to support her( babysit from time - time, buy diapers and baby food etc..) and be a part of your child's life. You may not be with her anymore but that child will always be a part of you.
2006-10-01 11:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by ellc123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still show her love even though shes not your girlfriend, it will make everything easier between you and the baby and her. If you show her that you care and want to be not only part of your baby's life, but also hers, it will mean alot to her and you will more then likely get through this better then trying to ignore her and the baby both. You will also fell better about the whole situation if you get things straight and in control. Dont ignore her even if she has another boyfriend because you will always be a part of her life no matter how things turn out.
2006-10-01 13:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Bridgette ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 17 years old. With 3 kids that all have different fathers... my one son
has a father that is only 14 years old. I'm not saying what he did was rite but here is what he did..we are not longer together either
Get a dna test... It is possible she was messing around with other guys at this time..
If its not yours-- Leave the ho* and tell her to find her babies daddy..
if it's yours-- take care of it.. Telling a girl to get a aborition was sort-of alright.. but she didnt listen. Doesnt matter .. pay child support and tell her that you dont want anything to do with this child.. move on in your life..
The pulling out method doesnt always work.. Your pre *** .. can get a girl pregnant during these times...
Be careful ..
And I wish u the best of luck..
Keep in touch and tell me how it goes.. my e-mail is
dadstwinkiee@aol.com
2006-10-01 10:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get yourself checked for STD's, or you may not live long enough to see your baby graduate from high school.
Get a job. You may not like the girl, but the baby is your responsibility. Even if you never get to see your kid, it was your stupidity, and now your responsibility. Besides a judge is less likely to throw your rear end in jail if you are supporting the mother and baby (I assume since you are 16, she was not over 18 at the time).
And for future refference "pulling out" is one of the least effective forms of contraception there is....
2006-10-01 09:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so glad that she chose to have the baby. Why should she kill it just because you didn't want to take responsibility for your actions.
Whether or not you want to see your baby, you will have to contribute in some way - be it maintenance or other ways. It must be very difficult to bring a baby up on your own. It is tough enough when both parents are involved.
I do hope that you have told your parents as they should make you face up to your responsibilities.
Take this as a lesson in life - keep it covered.
2006-10-01 09:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by MISS B.ITCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey i hope you learned condoms. just because you pulled does not mean anything actually that doesn't work sperm swims and can live outside the body for three days and up to eight days inside the female body... this little girl is yours and she will be looking up to you for the rest of your life... stay in school get an education ... does your mom and dad know??? .... if not its time to sit them down and let them know.... they are grandparents....i am sure they will yell but in the end they will help .. it is not something they can change or make go away....now she is no longer your girlfriend that's OK but that is and always will be your daughter.. you need your parents to help ... see your daughter work see daughter go to school see your daughter... no matter what ...you played the role and had your fun now she is here she did not asked to be here plz do not ask her to pay the price for mommy and daddy stupidity... even though you are now a parent you need yours as well go to dad first .... or mom....remember your child looks up to you so what you do in life is what she will learn from ......the choice was never in the baby's hands it always was in yours..........you have to live by your choices good bad or indifferent ................................................................................
2006-10-01 09:52:50 · answer #7 · answered by singleandback 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You shouldn't of told her to have an abortion.
2. You shouldn't of been having unprotected sex at 16.
3. If you truly have doubts that this child is yours, you need to get a paternity test.
4. Talk to your parents, I'm sure they aren't happy.
5. Invest in condoms, and you won't be at a crossroads anymore
2006-10-01 09:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by Ain't my baby gorgeous 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah dont make anymore babies. Its doesnt matter if you pull out, you were in there and your men got her pregnant.
Pulling out is not a form of birth control. If you dont want babies dont make them. Wrap that thing up and stop having sex so young.
She doesnt have to listen to you to kill her baby. She decided to have it and you decided to make it. When you play and adult game and make adult choices you have to live with those choices. You made a baby, and despite being a baby yourself you're going to have to grow up and take the responcibility of providing for that child once you come of age.
You're a father whether you wanted to be or not. Sex isnt about how you feel or making yourself a man, its about making babies and being wise enough to avoid making them.
Welcome to adulthood. Take some parenting classes and decide to grow the hell up. Your innocent days are far behind you, son.
2006-10-01 09:40:33 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents or other trusted adult. Like it or not, you are a father now and as such you have responsibilities that follow - it doesn't matter that you don't want them. You have the right to a paternity test if she is asking you to be supportive and/or recognize that this is your child. Time to be a man and not a scumbag. Real men support their children - wanted or unwanted, the child did not ask to be born.
2006-10-01 09:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by JJJJJJJJim 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋