We are probably both guilty of this! Still make each other laugh, and i know we are still crazy about each other. i just want him to really SEE me again. those who have been together a while will know exactly what i mean!!!
2006-10-01 02:23:20 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been married for 11 years and I do know just what you mean. Ever heard of the 5 love languages? It's transformed my marriage! Its a book written by a chap called Gary Chapman and he says we all have a primary love language (words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts and acts of service.) We have to find out what our husband/wifes love language and learn to speak to him/her in that language. Its an excellent book, have a look for it on Amazon.
All women want to be "seen" its a natural thing, I do know what you mean. This book has helped me anyway.
2006-10-01 02:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by Tania D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't forget MIRACLES happen every day!
I think it can happen.
You have to be a new woman if only for one day. Do you have a girlfriend, sister or relative or even celebrity whose look and allure you admire... or maybe HE admires, too? You can immulate and model your hair, makeup, demeanor and outfit after that "idol" or better yet "ideal" or "fantasy" woman. This is more affordable than hiring someone (a stylist) to do this for you - - - and its fun and motivating! I don't have to tell you how visual men are. You can just do a little mini makeover!
Once your sexiness is fully in tact, put together a playlist of your wedding song and some other seductive music. You can do that easily with Windows Media player and downloads or your own CD collection. You can buy some scented candles, get some red wine and his favorite meal. All this will overwhelm his senses and you'll get that look and reaction you're desiring!
You can make it a point of doing this at least once per month. Do you work out? That really boosts your confidence and lets your man know you want to be hot for him.
God bless you and congrats on 10 years of happy marriage!
2006-10-01 03:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're asking for a miracle, but there are probably changes that need to be made on both sides. It's probably one of the ironies of a long term relationship, that as your comfort and understanding of one another grows, there is a tendency to lose of the mystery as the things that once attracted you to one another becomes a matter of routine. I suspect that before your husband will learn to really SEE you again, someone will have to step out of that routine. Learn to really See yourself first, put the same effort into yourself as you did when you and your husband first met, and create a little intrigue. Make him feel special, maybe plan a surprise trip, or a romantic dinner for two, etc. Most of all, find something that makes YOU happy; when we are happy within ourselves, we emanate a vibrancy and a glow that makes us difficult to ignore. Good luck, I hope you both find yourselves and ultimately each other again.
2006-10-01 02:53:52 · answer #3 · answered by shancelt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you do 10 years ago that you do not do today? yes, maybe you have kids or work long hours but there is always a way to create that spontaneity.Is it sexy fun you're after? then you need to throw away your inhibitions.would you consider dressing up, it could be risque lingerie or the full fantasy outfit. forget what you see on the TV or movies- when everything is sooo sexy and smooth- it will take you 20 minutes of hard graft to get into your stockings and basque and then you'll laugh your head off instead of being all breathy and seductive- but hey!that's real life and you will love it. it's unrealistic to go around like a dolly bird 24/7 so just make that little bit of effort on 'special nights'.no disrespect to men but they are easy creatures to please if you use a little imagination!
2006-10-01 03:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by vonbon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never look at you that way again - you are both ten years older and your relationship has grown and moved on - I bet you do not look the way you did ten years ago and neither does he. You could try to lose a little weight, change your hairstyle, try new make up etc. but that will only change your appearance, not the essential you that he still loves. Be happy with what you have,
2006-10-01 02:30:48 · answer #5 · answered by blondie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we all wish our partners would see us in the light that they did at first that feeling that we get when we see them looking our way and then we look back at them only to find they still haven't broken that stare, or the way lust was in the beginning when you just found it so hard to break that hug and roll over instead it has been replaced with a peck on the cheek and a good night dear.
Do you remember when you rushed home to see him and got upset because he was late . or some one asked who you were seeing and you took an hour to stop talking about this great guy that you were involved with .. Millie who wouldn't want it to be that way again .Answer ..... its not crazy its cute.
2006-10-01 03:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a matter of making you feel like a pair of comfy slippers!
I know exactly where you're coming from and I can tell you that there will be the odd night when you make an effort that he will see you with fresh eyes......if he doesn't get too bladdered!
As for everyday?
Well don't hold your breath, sorry
Just suprise him every now and again and the rest takes care of itself really.
It's nice to be comfortable but every so often.aaaaaaargggggggh!
2006-10-01 02:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lorraine R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please understand this carefully:
1. Couples tend to take each other for granted unconsciously, especially when they inter-act with a "linear" pattern off behaviour: This means that you behave the "same way" with your partner in circumstances all the time. Especially when together intimately. The partner therefore has a pre-determined thought process to acknowledge and respond to those actions and this becomes boring and repetitive.
2. By "listening" and researching your partners desires and needs with the opposite sex, you can alter/modify yourself to meet that image/style. This pertains to personality also.
Watch your partner in public places. See who they look at (opposite sex), with a glimpse longer than 2 seconds and remember that style of person. It is imperative that your partner is not aware of your attention while this is happening as he/she will not respond truthfully and modify their behaviour because of you. ( that's why looking through magazines will not help as he/she will not be completely truthful)
Be aware of the smell/perfume of the person whom your partner notices.
Look at the behaviour and body language of the person your partner notices.
You can develop persona's that match the desires of your partner by using clothes, smell and personality and then utilise them as a stimulant in various situations. Basically you become a different person/persons but still be you. It can be fun for you and becomes desirable for your partner as he/she will not have a predetermined thought/action pattern for the different you.
Good Luck
Stop being linear and become diverse in your relationship. A little investigation and investment can go along way to inter relational development
2006-10-01 02:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im there myself 10 years in December..congrats to you both..These are Hard Times for Lovers...I say your not asking for a miracle..I myself just try to remember the little things that made him fall in love,then i just do them..he feels good, I feel good, you know ?,..sometimes when we're shopping at the market or just out on the streets ?..I hold my baby's face gently in my hands and I say (looking into his eyes)" I Love You So Much".
2006-10-01 02:51:14 · answer #9 · answered by Adele 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you look at him in the same way as you used to or as that bit gone as well you both have got used to one another and things just slip by try dressing up and i don,t mean in a kinky way and go out on a date that will bring back time must remember to ask wife if she wont's to go out lol but it did work for us we are now as happy as we where when we first started dating good luck.
2006-10-01 03:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by P felix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋